HAHAHAH ROFL Celebrity Jeopardy

[CuriousAndy]

I'm laughing so hard now..

Trevek: The categories are.. Pen is Mightier, Shiny Objects, What time is it?, Months that start with Feb
Connery: I'll take Penis Mightier
Trevek: What..? no.. no no no, That's Pen is Mightier
Conner: Doesn't matter what you call it, what matters is, Does it work?
Would it really mighty my penis man?
Trevek: It's not a product Connery
Cage: Wait Wait, Are you selling Penis Mightiers?

ROFL!! hahahahah what's your most fav quote??

~andy

 

[pulse8]

Funny.

And it's Trebek.

 

[Rent]

Trebek - and the answer Mr Connery?

Connery - I don't know, BUT YOUR MOTHERS A WHORE!
(connery laughs and laughs)

 

[rgwalt]

Connery: I'll take The Rapists for $500 please Alex.
Trebeck: It isn't The Rapists, its therapists.
Connery: Not much of a ladies man, are you Trebeck?

And...

Connery: I'll take Swords for a hundred please alex.

Ryan

 

[sohcrates]

Connery: This must be my lucky day! I'll take "The Rapist" for 200.


also:

Trebek: "You're all wrong...a cow says MOO"

Connery: "That's what your mother said"

Or something like that. heheheh. was there EVER one w/out connery?

i believe you can download lots of them from collegehumor.com

 

[trmiv]

And the show has reached a new low.

 

[CuriousAndy]

Trebek: The categories are An Album Cover, Dods, etc...
Connery: I'll take Anal Bum Cover *laughs hysterically*
Trebek: There is no such thing
Connery: hahahhahahhaha LOL I've been looking to make Anal bum cover but here it is!

___________

Connery: I'll take House Objects for 100
Trebek: You usually drink out of these
Connery: *buzz* Leather cloth
Trebek: No
Minidriver: *buzz* A toilet
Trebek: That is awful

 

[GhettoFob]

Buckfutter!

 

[Rent]

Trebek - and Keanu Reeves with an impressive negative 34000 dollars...

Keanu - I know KUNG FU![/i]

Trebek - For the LAST TIME, NO YOU DONT!!

 

[joe678]

Trebek: That is incorrect
Reynolds: No, that's correct!


Trebel: Burt Reynolds...
Reynolds: No, thats not my name
Trebek: Turd Ferguson...
Reynolds: haha...haha...yeah, what da ya want?

 

[GhettoFob]

I think the newest one had something like The Four Horsemen and Sean Connery said "whore semen" LOL

 

[datalink7]

Tebek: When I stop talking, just say ten. Tom cruise:
Tom Cruise: 5!
Trebek:No. Adam Sandler
Adam Sandler: Yah, uh, this one time, I was out with some friends on a boat, and this one guy was like "COME TO THE BACK OF THE BOAT!"
Trebek: No, the answer was 10. You have 10 fingers.
Connery: I'll show you a finger Trebek!

 

[trmiv]

Alex Trebek: Welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy. Once again, I'm going to recommend that our viewers watch something else. That having been said, let's take a look at the scores. Sean Connery is in first place with zero.

Sean Connery: You'll rue the day you crossed me Trebek.

Alex Trebek: Fantastic. Adam Sandler.

Adam Sandler: How you doin there Alex? You know it's great to be here, you know? Time for the Jeopardy! I love it. Your father loves it. Your Aunt Neda watches it every night in the VCR.

Alex Trebek: Ok, thank you Mr. Sandler. And finally, Tom Cruise has an incredible negative $12,000. A negative $12,000 having incorrectly answered a number of first round questions more than once.

Tom Cruise: I'm feeling great, Alex. Who is this guy? [ points to Adam Sandler ] I love this guy. This guy's great here, with the crazy sounds. He's wonderful. And it's really an honor to be working with Sean Connery.

Alex Trebek: Great. Better luck to all of you in the next round. It's time for Double Jeopardy. Let's take a look at the board. And the categories are: Potent Potables, The Vowels, Presidents Who Are On the One Dollar Bill, Famous Titles, Ponies, The Number 10, and finally: Foods That End In "Amburger." Tom Cruise, you are in third place, so the board is yours.

Tom Cruise: I, a...[ laughs ], I, a...[ laughs ], I, a...[ laughs ], I, a...[ laughs ]

Alex Trebek: Mr. Sandler, why don't you pick instead?

Adam Sandler: Once again, something that could have been brought to my attention yesterday!

Alex Trebek: Mr. Connery, go ahead.

Sean Connery: The day is mine! I'll take Famous Titties for 400.

Alex Trebek: Titles, Famous Titles.

Sean Connery: Damn!

Alex Trebek: And the answer is: This movie title is taken from the name of the book "Gone With The Wind." Mr. Sean Connery.

Sean Connery: Dolly Parton!

Alex Trebek: Titles, Mr. Connery. Not titties.

Sean Connery: Not a fan of the ladies, are you Trebek?

Alex Trebek: Someone else, please. Mr. Sandler.

Adam Sandler: Why are you yelling at me?

Alex Trebek: You rang in. Mr. Cruise.

Tom Cruise: I know this, I got it. It's right up here. I got it, I know it, I know it, it's right up here. I got it [ beep ]

Alex Trebek: You don't got it.

Tom Cruise: No, you don't got it! Get it?!

Alex Trebek: Wonderful. The answer is Gone With the Wind. Gone With the Wind. All right, Mr. Connery, the board is yours, so I'll pick a category for you. Let's try the Number 10 for 200. In this category, the correct response to every question is ten. When I stop talking, just say ten. Ok, let's give it a shot. This is how many fingers you have. Tom Cruise.

Tom Cruise: Five.

Alex Trebek: No. Adam Adam Sandler: .

Adam Sandler: This one time I was out with my friends on a boat. And this guy on the boat was like Come to the back of the boat! [ Beep ]

Alex Trebek: Time's up. Time is up. The answer was ten. You have ten fingers.

Sean Connery: I'll show you a finger, Trebek.

Alex Trebek: Mr. Cruise, would you please pick.

Tom Cruise: Help me, Alex. Help me, help you. Help me, help you.

Alex Trebek: Thank you.

Tom Cruise: All right, I'll take Famous Titties for 800.

Sean Connery: Well done, laddie.

Alex Trebek: Famous Titles for 800. And it's an audio Daily Double. All right, Mr. Cruise, this song was this TV show's theme. Listen carefully.

[ Play Batman, theme song. ]

Tom Cruise: A...A...What is Mash?

Alex Trebek: No. Sean Connery.

Tom Cruise: What is After Mash?

Alex Trebek: No.

Tom Cruise: The one with Jamie Farr.

Alex Trebek: No, I know. Mr. Sandler. Where did you get a guitar?

Adam Sandler: [ Singing ] "Robert De'Niro, Bela Lugosi, Snufalofogus, and Parker Posie."

Alex Trebek: And it's time for Final Jeoardy. The Final Jeopardy category is just answer the question Where are you right now? Just right down where you are right now. It could be California, or a game show, or earth, or the word "here." Ok, let's get this over with. Tom Cruise, you wrote down: "Go." And you wagered: "For it." Go for it. You certainly did.

Tom Cruise: [ Laughs ]

Alex Trebek: Moving on. All right, Adam Sandler, you wrote down: "Abbie Doobie."

Adam Sandler: Abbie Doobie...[ Gibberish ]

Alex Trebek: I feel like I want to punch you. Mr. Connery, where are you right now? You wrote: Good, Lord, you wrote "indoors" that's phenomenal. Are we recording this? Ok, let's look at your wager. "I heart boobs." That's beautiful. That's it for Celebrity Jeopardy. I'm going home and putting a gun in my mouth. Good day.

 

[brxndxn]

Trabeck: Please.. to win this round, just write a number, any number!

do do da da do

Trabeck: Okay, French Stewart, let's see what you wrote. You wrote 'Threeve' - a combination between three and five and you wagered $Texas.. Texas with a dollar sign.

 

[woodly6]

Connery: I have a riddle: What the difference between you and a Mallard with a cold?

Trebeck: I dont know

Connery: Ones a sick duck and the others....I forgot the rest but your mothers a whore!

 

[NakaNaka]

Connery: Knock Knock

Trebek: Who's there?

Connery: The man who slept with you motha last night.

----

Trebek: Just write down someone you like

Trebek: Mr. Connery you wrote down me I'm so happy. Let's see how much you wagered.

Trebek: Sucks. Alex Trebek Sucks. I can't believe I fell for that.

 

[dman]

LMAO! I never laughed so much reading a thread in all my life. These are classic, I've seen Cel.Jeopardy once or twice but I didn't realize there was a collection of them.

I could watch SnL again just to see these (prerecorded) live. NOT!

Here's a good SnL link--> Transcripts

 

[Jzero]

"Let's review the scores. Chris Tucker is in first place with -$1500 after answering every question with "DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE WORDS THAT ARE COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH?"

 

[MrBond]

I found a ton of the old ones on some site the other day, I was in tears watching them.

Trebek: "This is a sound a doggie makes..."

Conery: "Moo"

Trebek: "No, that is incorrect"

Connery: "well, thats the sound your mother made last night, Trebeck!"

Trebek: "Now that's just uncalled for. The correct answer was woof woof. We would also have accepted bow wow or ruff"

Connery: "Ahhh, rough, just like your mother likes it trebek!"

This is my favorite though;

Trebeck: "Words t hat rhyme with dog: "It's been a hard days night, I should be sleeping like a..."

Reynolds: "Chinese whore!"

Trebek: "No, that's incorrect"

Travolta rings in

Trebek: "Mister Travolta"

Travolta: "Chinese whore doesn't rhyme with dog..."

Trebek: "Thats why it's WRONG"

 

[SaltBoy]

(not verbatim, but still...)

Alex: It's your turn to pick the answer, Mr. Goldblum

Jeff Goldblum: Well, uh... after all, this is ...uh Jeopardy, and let's see, there are, uhh... one, two, three, four, five, six... aahhh(!)... seven, uh categories, and so...

Alex: ...Mr. Connery, why don't you just go ahead and pick?

------------
Alex: ...And Sean Connery is in last place with negative $4,500.

Sean Connery: Only on account of villany!


We must have more!!! LOL!!

 

[mss242]

the best ever is when the final jeaopardy question is "where are you now?" and connery answers indoors and he reveals his wager showing that he actually wrote I (heart) BOOBs. umm . . . i guess you had to see it

 

[Draco]

Yeah, Celebrity Jeopardy is classic stuff.

I have most of the skits in mpeg, avi, or ram format. I've been downloading them off of WinMX. Great stuff.

Duchovney's (sp?) impression of Jeff Goldblum is so accurate it's hilarious.. So is Jimmy Fallon's Adam Sandler.

 

[Sir Fredrick]

Connery: I refuse to pay this fine I've incurred, it's unjust!

I have most of the ones with Connery on MP3.

 

[RedRooster]

Trebek: "And Mr. Burt Reynolds is in a commanding lead with 14 dollars."
Reynolds: "Hey, check out the podium, look at this."
Trebek: "Mr. Reynolds has apparently changed his name to Turd Ferguson."
Reynolds: "Ya, that's right. Turd Ferguson, it's a funny name."

Norm McDonald rules all!

 

[crackersjacks]

Tobey Maguire doing Keanu Reeves was one of my favorite celebrity impersonations on Celebrity Jeopardy.

Keanu Reeves: I shall take Balloons for $800, if you please.
Alex Trebek: That's not a category.
Keanu Reeves: My mistake. I shall choose Balloons for $600.