That's because you don't have his amazing 150 IQ. If you did, you would have realized:
A) The bigfoot NIC is serious bidness. Coupled with the Sony trinitron, he's a mobile gaming maniac.
B) His ex, who's an attourney, will sue your ass to oblivion, without him even having to call on his scientist parents, if he so much wills it. He'll even have the ex ride the back of his bicycle right to your hood, since he's got those crazy phat pegs on the back.
C) Once he's done, he'll drop you off at Chernobyl for some sight seeing.
D) You DON'T want this getting out of hand. Just trust him on this - for Fausto's sake. Think of the children!