Guy smacking his kids in a restaurant...

[OutHouse]

MYOB. you saw like 5 minutes of this guys life. did YOU hear what the kid do to get popped on the head? maybe he said something inappropriate, what about the kid who got popped with the underside of the fork? did you see what he was doing? NOOOOOOOO

i hate assholes like you who think they know best and can make a snap judgement on a parent on one incident.

here is a thought why dont you get a life so that you will stay out of others..

:|

 

[JeffreyLebowski]

Originally posted by: sirjonk

Originally posted by: Red
If you can't listen, you can feel.

Children (let's say 10 and under) don't have the full capacity to understand the difference between right and wrong and simply explaining things to them will not work.

"Honey, please stop punching your brother in the arm. Punching him in the arm is not nice and you know you should be a nice person. Honey, I said stop! Please, stop banging your fork on the table. People are looking and you're embarrassing us." Yada, yada, yada... the child is not competent enough to make a decision based on your adult dialogue.

If a child starts acting up and doesn't listen to you after you ask them the first time to stop, it's time to take them out of restaurant, take them to the car and spank them. I know in my large family, this may only have to happen ONCE in a childs lifetime, but next time they really misbehave going out to eat and you ask them if they want to go to the car, they will straighten up.

So the way to teach them to behave is to cause them physical pain, and then threaten to inflict the physical pain again if they misbehave? Put your kid in the corner if they misbehave and make them stand there and they'll cry just as much. Make the corner out to be a place were really bad people go. Next time you threaten to send them to the corner they're just as reluctant to go as they are to go to the car to get beat. And without the fear of a beating.

Here in lies the problem. As kids get older they understand consequences and punishment. If Johnny knows he can punch his brother in the eye and all he has to do is stand in the corner for 10 minutes, he's going to punch his brother in the eye. If he knows If I punch my brother in the eye, dad is going to get "the belt" and whoop my ass. He's going to think twice about punching his brother.

 

[CPA]

I smack my kids on the head all the time....wanna fight?

 

[HomeBrewerDude]

Originally posted by: Fmr12B
His kids = his business.

People hate on America involving itself in other countries and telling them how to run their government and treat their population.


So why do you think you know best?

This attitude is why people just look the other way instead of holding people accountable for their actions.

 

[JeffreyLebowski]

Originally posted by: RightIsWrong

Originally posted by: Red

Originally posted by: RightIsWrong

I guess that you and I disagree then. I have a son that has Asperger's and does some things that are similar to what you described your nephew has done. You know what? I have never and will never hit him in the head. EVER! I am able to gain control of the situation without the need to result in such an abusive way.

I really don't give a shit that you are such a brave man and that you are able to hit a child up side the head. I just hope that if your nephew is having another episode and you are there and you attempt to remedy the situation in a similar manner that I am not around.

What are you going to do, nancy, call your wife for help?

If you don't have the willpower to discipline your children with the rare, but sometimes necessary physical sting of a spanking on the rear end, I doubt you have the cajones to even open your mouth in the presence of a man who does.

And if you don't have the necessary willpower to read through the first page of posts and see that I have stated that I am not against spanking, then you might have actually caught the fact that I am not, in any way adverse to using physical "sting" in an appropriate manner. Whether it be a swat on a kid's rump or addressing a "man" that thinks hitting a defenseless child in the head is something that should be done.

Well you proved that you aren't man enough to stand up to someone that did something you felt was so bad you mouthed off while running away(more than likely you thought about saying something instead of actually doing so) and had to post about it on the internet.

 

[Xavier434]

Originally posted by: JeffreyLebowski

Here in lies the problem. As kids get older they understand consequences and punishment. If Johnny knows he can punch his brother in the eye and all he has to do is stand in the corner for 10 minutes, he's going to punch his brother in the eye. If he knows If I punch my brother in the eye, dad is going to get "the belt" and whoop my ass. He's going to think twice about punching his brother.

Bullshit. I never got beaten and I was disciplined well enough to be taught how to resist the urge of hurting my siblings when they do something that pissed me off. All my parents needed to do was take things that I valued away from me temporarily and explain to me why I was being punished. The bottom line is that there are many ways to skin the cat. Why choose one which involves physical punishment that can lead to all sorts of negative side effects including getting your kids taken away from you when there are other options which work just as well if not better? I am living proof that there are other options which work great and I know I am not alone.

 

[RightIsWrong]

Originally posted by: JeffreyLebowski

Originally posted by: RightIsWrong

Originally posted by: Red

Originally posted by: RightIsWrong

I guess that you and I disagree then. I have a son that has Asperger's and does some things that are similar to what you described your nephew has done. You know what? I have never and will never hit him in the head. EVER! I am able to gain control of the situation without the need to result in such an abusive way.

I really don't give a shit that you are such a brave man and that you are able to hit a child up side the head. I just hope that if your nephew is having another episode and you are there and you attempt to remedy the situation in a similar manner that I am not around.

What are you going to do, nancy, call your wife for help?

If you don't have the willpower to discipline your children with the rare, but sometimes necessary physical sting of a spanking on the rear end, I doubt you have the cajones to even open your mouth in the presence of a man who does.

And if you don't have the necessary willpower to read through the first page of posts and see that I have stated that I am not against spanking, then you might have actually caught the fact that I am not, in any way adverse to using physical "sting" in an appropriate manner. Whether it be a swat on a kid's rump or addressing a "man" that thinks hitting a defenseless child in the head is something that should be done.

Well you proved that you aren't man enough to stand up to someone that did something you felt was so bad you mouthed off while running away(more than likely you thought about saying something instead of actually doing so) and had to post about it on the internet.

I think that you might want to look at my handle and then compare it to the OP's before you make such an ass of yourself.

 

[Nemesis 1]

Originally posted by: Fmr12B
His kids = his business.

People hate on America involving itself in other countries and telling them how to run their government and treat their population.


So why do you think you know best?

This is so wrong in so many ways. Were to begin?

First they are not his children . They are his responsibility. I am my own self as my children are their own selves . NO ownership here . Resposibility here big time.

To strike a child anywhere other than on butt. is unexceptable. Its a case of being lazy. Its easier to slap kid on head which could cause real damage. Than to take time to remove pants and give child honest tough love. You have heard it many times . This is going to hurt me more than you . For me its a true statement.

Both my kids got spanked 1 time in their lives . Both the same day both did the same no no . I caught them on the river ice. So I had to spank no other way could I see.

I can tell ya for fact . It hurt me worse than them . I hated it . But I have seen adults hand out head slaps to kids like its candy or something.

When disabuse is used to say my kids I treat as I will . Thats pure BS. OUR kids belong to all of us . They are the future. Try treating them as if their human beings and not properity.

 

[Farley2k]

Originally posted by: JeffreyLebowski
Here in lies the problem. As kids get older they understand consequences and punishment. If Johnny knows he can punch his brother in the eye and all he has to do is stand in the corner for 10 minutes, he's going to punch his brother in the eye. If he knows If I punch my brother in the eye, dad is going to get "the belt" and whoop my ass. He's going to think twice about punching his brother.

That is just stupid. If he knows he is going to get the belt he eventually learns the belt isn't that bad...so dad has to ratched it up a bit to longer and longer times. Eventually when the kid is 15-16 the belt won't work so dad needs to move to punches in the face, broken bones, etc.

It has been shown in thousands of studies...you have to raise the stimulus to get the same response. It is why junkies need more frequent fixes, why you need more cups of coffee to get the same caffeine buzz, etc. etc.

The kid needs to learn that punching his brother is wrong on its own merits, not because of possible punishment.

All beating the kid teaches is that if you are strong enough you can beat anyone you want. Of course judging by the replies in this threat a lot of people do believe that punching people is acceptable if you are stronger.

 

[BudAshes]

If the dude is smacking his kids in public I can guarantee he does a lot worse in private. It is amazing how clueless many of you are.

 

[Lalakai]

Without knowing more of the situation, there's no way to make fair judgement for what happened to the kids. And without knowing the status of people posting in this thread, there's no way to determine if those people have grounds to even post!!

If you haven't raised children, you have no point of reference.

If you have raised children, then you know that no two children are alike, and that response patterns to the children's actions are different, based on their personalities. If you do think that the same response pattern can be applied to all children, hopefully you will never have to face reality.

Yes children will mirror their parents' actions, but if you talk with any child counselor they will also tell you that genetics will have an impact, regardless of how the parents act. Do all children need to be spanked? No. Will they all respond to harsh words, time outs, and loss of privaleges? No. Anyone that thinks they have the perfect system for raising a child, is an idiot. What do i base my experiences on?? 2 biological kids, 3 adopted, 40+ foster, and a bunch of nieces and nephews. And every child that walks through the door is different and has to be treated with a unique approach.

ps i would love someone to criticize me in public for the way i treat my children............it would be very educational.

 

[Xylitol]

Be more descriptive. Those kids could've really f'ed something up which makes them deserve a good smack

 

[Xylitol]

Originally posted by: destrekor
OP? How do you feel about spanking children?
Do know that just because a kid cries, it's not because it hurt them, but maybe it's an (un)conscious desire for attention from those around him.

I got spanked as a kid. Hated it, yelled at my parents for it, cried sometimes... etc etc. But now that I'm older, there is nothing wrong with it. Hell, if a kid gets out of line enough, I still think a belt should be used. I should have had a belt used on me at times as a kid, would have learned faster that way. (Not saying I will use a belt on my kids. but definitely will resort to spanking them if they get out of line)

+

i don't know about a belt... i totally agree with regular spanking. In my opinion, a kid should almost always be hit on the butt since it's almost impossible to hurt someone there beyond a large 5 star

 

[JulesMaximus]

Originally posted by: alchemize
So the other night I'm having a beer with a friend, a fat bald guy comes in with two cute little boys, probably 4 and 7, and his wife who is in a wheechair. I don't pay them much notice until after I while I hear him chastising his kid for something.

Then out of the corner of my eye I see him open handed pop the 7 year old on the side of the head, loud enough you could hear it 10 feet away. Kid gets tears in his eyes.

A few minutes later he smacks the 4 year old in his hand with a fork. At this point violent thoughts are going through my head, so I decide to see which way the fork in the road will take me. We go upstairs to play pool, and I say loud enough to be heard "let's go upstairs so I don't have to watch this asshole beat his kids". He glares at me but says nothing, deciding which path to choose.

Afterwards I was contemplating, maybe I should have just called the cops on him. I figured if I pounded on him it would be traumatic on his kids, as they would see me as an aggressor and not a savior. Probably wouldn't realize until they were adults my intetions...

I can't imagine what he does in private.

Awsome. :thumbsup: You did the right thing IMO.

Dickhead deserved a good beating but it would not have been the time or place.

 

[Nocturnal]

This is why America is the way it is. You guys want to solve everything with talking. That doesn't work, trust me, I know.

 

[RightIsWrong]

Originally posted by: Nocturnal
This is why America is the way it is. You guys want to solve everything with talking. That doesn't work, trust me, I know.

Avoiding talking worked great in Iraq and has brought about dramatic changes in Cuba, North Korea, Venezuela, China, Palestine, Lebanon, etc.

 

[alchemize]

Originally posted by: Citrix
MYOB. you saw like 5 minutes of this guys life. did YOU hear what the kid do to get popped on the head? maybe he said something inappropriate, what about the kid who got popped with the underside of the fork? did you see what he was doing? NOOOOOOOO

i hate assholes like you who think they know best and can make a snap judgement on a parent on one incident.

here is a thought why dont you get a life so that you will stay out of others..

:|

Curious that you don't feel my direct observations (confirmed by my guest) were enough to judge it abusive, but yet you are astute enough to find I'm an asshole and have no life based on a couple posts

 

[FuzzyDunlop]

I would rather have that then screeming kids and no response at all.
But people... please... if your going to punish your kids, dont embarrass them and yourselves by doing it in public. Take them elsewhere and let into them... that way nobody like the OP will see, and nobody can tell on you.

 

[alchemize]

Originally posted by: Xylitol
Be more descriptive. Those kids could've really f'ed something up which makes them deserve a good smack

I saw absolutely nothing from the 7 year old warranting the smack on the side of the head. That's when I started observing much closer.

And a 3-4 year old kid was reaching for something apparently he wasn't supposed to when he rapped him on the knuckles with a fork hard enough to make him cry.

I also heard the guy berating the older kid in some really bizarre way - "you aren't on the team! This isn't how you act on the team!" like some wacked out fired football coach. The tone of his voice was "fighting words" mean the whole time.

It's odd that if he'd done that to his wife, or somebody in the bar, he would have been been in trouble as it was clearly a battery. But for some reason it's OK with kids...<shrug>

 

[wwswimming]

this happened to me once at a KFC. i saw a father disciplining
his kids by lifting them up by the ears, literally lifting them off
the ground. it made me so sick. i drove home & then drove
back. walked over to the table and yelled at the father for 5 minutes.

 

[Coldkilla]

Originally posted by: Fmr12B
His kids = his business.

 

[SirStev0]

Originally posted by: RKS

Originally posted by: brandonb

Originally posted by: RightIsWrong

Originally posted by: Fmr12B
His kids = his business.

People hate on America involving itself in other countries and telling them how to run their government and treat their population.

So why do you think you know best?

Bullshit. If the kid is not old enough to take care of himself/herself, then I very proudly stand up for them. No asshole has the right to do this to a child.

I would have said something to him and embarrassed him in front of the entire place. Or I would have calmly asked him if he knows what the criminal penalties for child endangerment or assault on a minor are. I have done it before and will do it again anytime I see shit like this.

You will find that most of them are very brave when confronting someone three feet shorter then them but cower down when facing someone as tall or taller then themselves.

Edit: I am not against spanking either and I had my share of them growing up. However, any swat that doesn't find it mark on the backside is over the line in my book.

Get off it. There could be a reason why he is doing it. You haven't heard the other side of the story. My nephew has bad violent temper tandrums. He has been diagnosted with every type of mental disorder from ADHD, ADD, Bipolar, etc. When he throws temper tantrums he will get out sticks and whack people over the head. I'm just not going to waggle my finger at him while he is swinging a metal bike lock at my sister (his mom). I've had to smack him in the side/back of the head a few times. Wanna know what happens? It wakes him out of his frenzy and he calms down. And the best part, anytime I'm around, he seems to be in total control now. I ask my sister why she didn't smack her kids from time to time. "I don't want some asshole calling the cops on me for being a parent to my children."

If either of boys had that many mental issues I certainly wouldn't take them out to eat. Shit I wouldn't go anywhere in public with both of them together.

So either your nephew has been mis-diagnosed or faked his symptoms. I'm not an expert but I didn't know you could control mental or hormonal disorders with fear and intimidation.

I have a diagnosis... He's a brat. Unfortunately this has the same symptoms as the above disorders except in one case it is a chemical misbalance and in the other it is a kid who never learned to behave themselves. One is fixed with drugs, the other with said forms of discipline.