P1: "So, you started a few wars. a-ite? Okay, you actually you started every war, but I mean who's counting; it's not like you ever won one, right?"
[laughs and pulls P2's pants down]
P2: "Ve kicked France's ass."
P1: "Oh please, like who hasn't?"
More from this obscure and vastly underrated movie:
[after P1 pees his pants from fright]
P1: I'm sorry. I couldn't make it to the newspaper.
P4 (son of P2): You'd have to shoot me first.
[P2 shoots P4]
P3: I can't believe you shot him.
P2: Ah, he's wearing a bulletproof vest.
P4: Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt!
P5: Ah, the tracking device I placed in his underwear seems to be working.
P4: Why does P5 get all the good jobs?
[after P2 wasted his tranquilizers on P6's family and his son, missing P1]
P1: You can't hit me! You can't hit me! You're a big sucker-butt! Ha ha ha, ha ha ha! I can't believe you're German! Ha ha h...
[P2 hits P1 with the gun handle]
[P1 works at a Chinese restaurant, disguised as Chinese]
P7: [In heavy Chinese accent] How come I don't undastand any of your Chinese?
P1: [In just as thick an accent] I from Souff! Is a diffwent diawect!
P7: Oh really? Well, I'm from Souff too!
P1: [pause] Well, I from FAR, FAR, FAR, far Souff!