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Gross dog story

AMCRambler

AMCRambler

Diamond Member
I'm warning you up front, this is nasty. So leave now if you're easily disgusted.


So this morning my puppy (4 months) lets me know she's gotta go out. We head out to the front lawn and she sniffs for like 2 seconds and starts busting out a deuce. I'm thinking "man, she must have really had to go". Usually sniffs around for like a minute or two.

So anyway, a couple of bombs come out and then she starts half walking around in the poo crouch position. She's really trying hard for this last one. Then it comes it out. She enables the turd cutter, but it just won't drop. I realize she must have eaten some of my wife's hair off the bathroom floor and the other end is stuck in her butt. So now she's starting to get a little frantic about it. starts dancing around, turd is pinwheeling.

So as I'm trying to figure out if I should grab it with my hand and yank it out or try and get a paper towel out of the garage, the garbage truck starts rolling down the street. Big, loud, diesel truck engines really freak her out. Now she's full on crazy, trying to bite the turd off, running in circles with it flying around behind her. I'm yelling at her to stop, shit is getting all over her back legs.

I drag her over to the garage, pop the code into the door opener remote and drag her in. Snagged a paper towel off the roll on my work bench, grabbed that fucking turd with the towel and yanked it out.


This was not a good morning...
 
Ain't no better way to start a day than by gently guiding one of your shoelaces out of your dog's ass...


06-07.jpg
 
Haha welcome to the world of dog ownership! I had to pull a few bounty paper towels out of my bulldogs ass. Now that he is getting old he seems to shit and step right in it at least once a week, so I have to get the hose out quite often.
 
That's nothing. Wait til she steps in her own shit and walks around the house.

Or if you decide you need to express her anal glands. That's gross.
 
Yup, I've owned quite a few dogs in my lifetime, so I've had quite a few experiences like this. Given their eating habits I'm pretty sure that Darwin would claim the vast majority of dogs if we weren't around to help them out.

My present charge has a liking for long-bladed grass that even a dog's gut can't digest, so I get to experience what the OP did pretty often.

Oh, the joys of dog ownership.
 
Yup, I have to deal with this time to time ... luckily my husky has her tail curled, so it's pretty easy to just grab it out of her ass.

Sometimes I just let her freak out and do it on her own...sometimes I just use the poop bag in my hand to grab it, depends if I am in a hurry, or got some time for some amusement.
 
HAHAH! I had to do the same thing to my cat recently. It was a hot summer, and so he shed like nuts and got ~30 hairballs. One day, I noticed that he was walking funny and clenching his butt repeatedly. I turned him around, lifeted his tail, and found a 2 inch hair/turd hanging out of him. I took him up to the bathroom, grabbed a paper towel, and yanked the turd out of him. Poor guy, it was about 6 inches of matted hair and poop. Pretty huge, even for a large cat.
 
Aharami said:
WTF is that? Is this only with bitches? I used to have a male German Shepard and I dont remember ever having to do anything like that.
Click to expand...

I had to do this with my bulldog quite often. His ass started smelling like rotten fish so you knew it was time. You just squeeze the anal glands and get a nice greenish brown liquid that is probably the worst smell in the world. Very not cool, but if I didn't sometimes it would leak out, and seemed to cause him discomfort. I think it is a matter of diet.
 
Aharami said:
WTF is that? Is this only with bitches? I used to have a male German Shepard and I dont remember ever having to do anything like that.
Click to expand...
Basically the canine equivalent of a skunk's scent glands. Some dogs require them to be emptied periodically and some don't. Just about all of them will express them when perturbed.

And, yes, the stuff inside stinks like you wouldn't believe.
 
Jeeebus said:
Ain't no better way to start a day than by gently guiding one of your shoelaces out of your dog's ass...
Click to expand...

I really have nothing to say to that. 😵 😀

There are far arose things your dog could evacuate out it's rear end. When I was a kid, my dog ate a whole pound of butter off the kitchen table. That butter turned into a two foot in diameter puddle of brown liquid on the laundry room floor a few hours later.
 
Aw man. So hair turds are a common thing? Crap. That wasn't in the manual damn it.

PS Jeebus, we didn't need pics! GAH! You're giving me flashbacks.
 
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