My grandparents that live overseas died a year ago and they owned a few houses and some land. To split the land and property between my father and his sisters and brothers, all of the property and land must be sold. In order for this to happen, my father and his sisters and brothers must sign something. But my dad refuses to sign because he doesnt want the houses and land to be sold.
pontifex
Lifer
- Dec 5, 2000
- 43,804
- 46
- 91
that was my thought. sell everything and split the money.
but i guess if there is stuff thats sentimental, then...i dunno. maybe get it all appraised and then figure out what each person would get based on money and then subtract that from the items they want.
so if the split was $5000 each and you wanted that antique desk valued at $2000 you would have less money to "spend" on the other items.
GasX
Lifer
- Feb 8, 2001
- 29,033
- 6
- 81
Oh, and my advice in this matter is to put YOUR priority on the sentimental things not the material things. In ten years you will not care about the fancy ottoman you end up getting, but you'll wish you had the old photo albums and granddad's army medals (or whatever applies in your situation)
dullard
Elite Member
- May 21, 2001
- 26,193
- 4,862
- 126
As others have said, too bad the a will didn't do this for you.
I think the one and only fair method is to sell absolutely everything at an auction. No one gets ANYTHING. Then split the auction proceeds evenly for each of her 6 kids, 1/6th of the money each. Of the kids that passed, the grandkids on that branch split that 1/6th of the inheritance.
But what if you want that special momento? That is the beauty of the auction. At the auction, you can also bid on any item you want. If you want it, you pay for it (out of your portion of the inheritance). Every item with sentimental value is then given to the relative that wanted it most. If you don't want any items, you get the most money because you didn't bid at the auction.
I think the one and only fair method is to sell absolutely everything at an auction. No one gets ANYTHING. Then split the auction proceeds evenly for each of her 6 kids, 1/6th of the money each. Of the kids that passed, the grandkids on that branch split that 1/6th of the inheritance.
But what if you want that special momento? That is the beauty of the auction. At the auction, you can also bid on any item you want. If you want it, you pay for it (out of your portion of the inheritance). Every item with sentimental value is then given to the relative that wanted it most. If you don't want any items, you get the most money because you didn't bid at the auction.
Demon-Xanth
Lifer
- Feb 15, 2000
- 20,551
- 2
- 81
Step #1:
Get people to make a list of things that they would like to have for SENTIMENTAL reasons.
Get people to make a list of things that they would like to have for SENTIMENTAL reasons.
It's weird because I was telling my g/f the other day about this big Thanksgiving dinner at my grandparents house back when I was 7 or 8 years old. Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, the whole works were there. Now I've never really liked most of these people because they all claim to be Christian and lead two faced lives.
Anyway, we all sat around the dinner table and one of them brought up "I want this table when you die." (saying this to my Grandmother). So then it got really weird and everyone took a turn going around the table saying what they "called dibs on" when the grandparents died. I got a little upset because I thought they knew something I didn't and that my Grandparents were dying very soon. So the turns progressed down the line until it got to me and I said "Grandma are you dying?". She said "Not for a very long time if I can help it.". I felt relieved, but then she actually said "So what do you want when I die?". I said "Nothing." and was very uncomfortable with it all. My mom just put her hand on my shoulder as my Grandma said again "Well honey, there must be something you want when we die.". It got really really quiet and everyone looked at me.
Finally I said, "Well I really like your brand new stereo, but it will be too old to use by the time you die.". Truth be told the only thing I really wanted to remember them by was the actual dinner table we all sat at. I loved that thing. I used to play under it and hide under it when I was a little kid. It's a solid oak deal that has the legs curve out from the middle into chinese dragon head carving at the end of the legs.
It's really sad though, because that was the mentality of that side of my family and it won't change. I see them once every 5 years or so now and even then I don't care to. It really sucks.
When they die I know my Mom will ask for nothing, but her brother and sister will split everything up in a heartbeat and still call themselves good christians.
Sorry OP, I hope you get your matter resolved. Just stand up for yourself and say you'd like to have whatever it is you want. If they dispute it then you just say "We need to come up with a fair solution to decide then.". If they refuse that then just be the bigger man and let it go, they'll get theirs in the end.
Also, if it means that much to you, and you can afford to do so, then just offer to buy it. Sounds like that's the language they speak anyway, so you should get what you want.
Anyway, we all sat around the dinner table and one of them brought up "I want this table when you die." (saying this to my Grandmother). So then it got really weird and everyone took a turn going around the table saying what they "called dibs on" when the grandparents died. I got a little upset because I thought they knew something I didn't and that my Grandparents were dying very soon. So the turns progressed down the line until it got to me and I said "Grandma are you dying?". She said "Not for a very long time if I can help it.". I felt relieved, but then she actually said "So what do you want when I die?". I said "Nothing." and was very uncomfortable with it all. My mom just put her hand on my shoulder as my Grandma said again "Well honey, there must be something you want when we die.". It got really really quiet and everyone looked at me.
Finally I said, "Well I really like your brand new stereo, but it will be too old to use by the time you die.". Truth be told the only thing I really wanted to remember them by was the actual dinner table we all sat at. I loved that thing. I used to play under it and hide under it when I was a little kid. It's a solid oak deal that has the legs curve out from the middle into chinese dragon head carving at the end of the legs.
It's really sad though, because that was the mentality of that side of my family and it won't change. I see them once every 5 years or so now and even then I don't care to. It really sucks.
When they die I know my Mom will ask for nothing, but her brother and sister will split everything up in a heartbeat and still call themselves good christians.
Sorry OP, I hope you get your matter resolved. Just stand up for yourself and say you'd like to have whatever it is you want. If they dispute it then you just say "We need to come up with a fair solution to decide then.". If they refuse that then just be the bigger man and let it go, they'll get theirs in the end.
Also, if it means that much to you, and you can afford to do so, then just offer to buy it. Sounds like that's the language they speak anyway, so you should get what you want.
sdifox
No Lifer
- Sep 30, 2005
- 101,114
- 18,180
- 126
First you need to determine how many shares there will be, once you get that done, sell real estate at fair market value (unless some relative wants it at slightly less than fmv). Now for content, I suggest splitting them into lots. Then draw straw on the order the share holders get to pick the lots. Most fair way I can think of.
I don't plan to fight for anything when a loved one dies... let those who want them have them... I don't "need" anything... if there's stuff that I can take that others don't want.. then and only then will I take them. My memories will be enough.
Document everything that's going on. Make detailed notes. Then, write a book. Make it humorous but nasty. Use people's real names, addresses and identifying numbers if possible.
Millions of people will read that book and laugh, because it happens a lot.
Memories are the most important thing, and you'll have a nice memory book. :beer:
Millions of people will read that book and laugh, because it happens a lot.
Memories are the most important thing, and you'll have a nice memory book. :beer:
But there is a 'will'; maybe not one written by the grandmother per se, but in such cases state law provides default provisions which act as a will. If random relatives are just looting the place, they're possibly stealing.
No will? No power of Attorney? Get ready for an ugly batlle 
When a family member croakes greedy bastards swoop down on the spoils!
Ausm
When a family member croakes greedy bastards swoop down on the spoils!Ausm
Each person writes their name on masking tape then gets a chance to claim one item, placing their masking tape on the desired item. The oldest goes first, the youngest last. Once the youngest has picked an item the cycle repeats.
The most fair process I can think of.
The most fair process I can think of.
Sell everything, split into 6 equal portions.
Divide each portion by respective number of grand kids.
Problem solved.
Unfortunately, the two remaining aunts might have all the powers.
Divide each portion by respective number of grand kids.
Problem solved.
Unfortunately, the two remaining aunts might have all the powers.
:thumbsup:
That's what I was going to suggest. Of course, you run the risk of somebody outside the family buying a family heirloom out from under you.
I've seen this sort of thing play out at estate auctions. I like the antique mechanical mantel clocks, and was set to bid on one. It was decent, but nothing spectacular. I wouldn've gone to about $150 on it. The bidding went up by the usual $5 - $10 bids until it was close to $200, and only two women left. Then they started calling out htere raises and it quickly went to about $900! I was like - what the hell do they know about that clock that I don't! I later found out that they were daughters of the deceased, and that clock must have had some significance for them. It appeared that there were some hard feelings.
Anyway, you learn to pick out the family at these things. If they're bidding against me, I ussually get out. Either they want it and will pay alot to get it, or they are just running up the bid, since they'll get a portion of the money back if they get stuck with it in the end.
Firstly, sorry for your loss.. Secondly, this is an issue you should be talking over with a lawyer and not ATOT.
Originally posted by: Crazyfool
It's unfortunate but this is what happens when someone dies. There is a huge rush to get whatever one can either by simply grabbing it or laying legal claim to it.
I advise all old people I know with any kind of assets at all to get wills. It doesn't entirely stop the vulture process but definitely controls it.
Wills are important mmmkay...
Since it is really just me and my sister. I don't think there is going to be all of that drama when it comes down to it.
I disagree - the OP wants some advice on how this is handled. Talking to a lawyer is certainly one option, and I suspect one is already involved regarding the will. But it sounds like this is small household type stuff that isn't specifdied directly in the will. It will benefit all involved if they can come up with a plan without the vultures being involved. Advice & experiences from ATOT regarding similar situations might help.
Originally posted by: DaShen
Originally posted by: Crazyfool
It's unfortunate but this is what happens when someone dies. There is a huge rush to get whatever one can either by simply grabbing it or laying legal claim to it.
I advise all old people I know with any kind of assets at all to get wills. It doesn't entirely stop the vulture process but definitely controls it.
Wills are important mmmkay...
Since it is really just me and my sister. I don't think there is going to be all of that drama when it comes down to it.
Heh - you'd be suprised. When my grandfather died, my two uncles colluded long enough to screw my brother and I out of our share of the inheritance. We were both minors, our mother had passed away so we should have gotten her share. No, I don't know the details - I was 13. Then they turned on each other and started a feud over the enheritance that continued for over 20 years and has hurt alot of people.
Posession is 9/10ths of the law......
If other people are taking what they want.... go get yours.
If other people are taking what they want.... go get yours.
economically, this is the best way to go. not to mention of the $$$ being made from the sale of the items, the inheritors will get a share. it is a good way to determine who wants what the most and put a fair value to it.
sell it all, and split up the money. if family members want it bad enough, they will buy it.
This is really a great way to look at it. :thumbsup:
My wifes grandmother died about a year ago and her older brother was the "vulture". I just kept telling my wife that her memory is not in her things as much as in your heart. She did well with that until the vulture gave away a new gas fireplace to one of his friends and I pretty much cut her loose at that point. That was just plain cold...the greedy bastard!
Everything is cool now though because she realized that nothing she says/does will change what's already happened and her brother means more to her than any item.
To the OP...sorry for your loss.
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