good programing joke :) now excepting ALL jokes

[Brutuskend]

What?s the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong??




PM me for the answer!!



A sailor and a Marine happen to be in a bus station bathroom at the same time.

The sailor finishes taking a leak, and goes to the sink to wash his hands.

Noticing the Marine start to walk out without washing his hands, the sailor says.

"In the navy they teach us to wash our hands after we take a leak!"

TO which the Marine responds.

"In the Marines they teach us not to piss on our hands!!"

 

[Brutuskend]

A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the result. On his way home he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"

"About 35," was the reply.

"I'm actually 47," the man says happily.

A little while later he goes to McDonald's for lunch and asks the order taker the same question, to which the reply is, "I'd guess that you're 29?"

"Nope, I am actually 47."

He's starting to feel really good about himself. While standing at the bus stop he asks an old woman the same question.

She replies, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a man's age. If I put my hand down your pants and play with your penis for ten minutes I will be able to tell your exact age."

As there was no one else around the man thought what the hell and let her slip her hand down his pants. Ten minutes later the old lady says, "OK, it's done. You are 47."

Stunned the man says, "That was brilliant! How did you do that?"

The old lady replies, "I was behind you in McDonald's".

 

[calpha]

Old Lame Jokes.

AN MS Rep, and a GM Engineer were on the way to a convention. The car broke down. The GM Engineer started by opening up the hood, and doing the typical mechanic lookover. He was working up a sweat and the MS Rep wasn't doing a thing. Finally, he got mad, and said "Do you wanna friggin help?". The MS Rep said "Sure. Just close all the windows. It should run just fine."

A Computer Programmer, Mechanical Engineer, and Electrical Engineer were in a car. They were going down a hill and the car's brakes went out.

The Mechanical ENgineer said.....Lemme take the tires off, and check the rotors and clamps. I'm sure I can figure out if somethings wrong down there.

The Electrical engineer said, "No it's got to be electrical. Lemme check the fuses, and the wiring underneat the pedal and I'm sure I can fix it."

The Computer programmer said "Naw, let's just push it back up the hill and see if it happens again."