Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth and the life: no one can come to the Father(God)(in Heaven), but by me." (John 14:6) This means that if you die without trusting in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour you will die in your sins and be forever separated from the love of God in a place called Hell. The Holy Bible describes Hell as a place of eternal torment, suffering, pain and agony for all those who have rejected Jesus Christ. The good news is that you can be sure you are going to Heaven when this life is over if you allow Jesus Christ to save you today. Do not wait until later to be saved because you do not know exactly when you will die.
Hayabusa Rider
Admin Emeritus & Elite Member
- Jan 26, 2000
- 50,879
- 4,268
- 126
Hayabusa Rider
Admin Emeritus & Elite Member
- Jan 26, 2000
- 50,879
- 4,268
- 126
Hayabusa Rider
Admin Emeritus & Elite Member
- Jan 26, 2000
- 50,879
- 4,268
- 126
Hayabusa Rider
Admin Emeritus & Elite Member
- Jan 26, 2000
- 50,879
- 4,268
- 126
A Greek guy goes into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, "Mou theinete mia asperina". The pharmacist gives the Greek guy an aspirin and is surprised to see the Greek guy shoving the asperina down his pants. The pharmacist looks at the Greek and asks: "My fine sir, yiati evales tin asperina eki?" The Greek guy replies: "Eixa pae sto kafenio kai enas malakas ekee mou zaleisai ta arxithia mou!!"
"One day Mr. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at
his church. "Reverend," he said, "I have a problem. My wife
keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very
embarrassing. What should I do?"
"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this pin with
you. I'll be able to tell when she's sleeping, and I will
motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give her
a good poke in the leg with the pin."
In church the following Sunday, Mrs. Jones dozed off.
Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "...And who
made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mr.
Jones.
"Jesus!" cried Mrs. Jones as her husband jabbed her in the
leg with the pin.
"Yes, you are right, Mrs. Jones," said the minister.
Soon, Mrs. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister
noticed her dozing. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the
congregation, motioning towards Mr. Jones.
"God!" cried out Mrs. Jones as she was stuck again with the
pin once again. "Right again, Mrs. Jones," said the minister,
smiling and continuing his sermon.
Before long, Mrs. Jones dozed off again. However, this time
the minister didn't notice. As he picked up the tempo of his
sermon, he made a few motions that Mr. Jones mistook as
signals to wake his wife again.
He was just sticking his wife with the pin again when the
minister asked, "...And what did Eve say to Adam after she
bore him his 99th son?"
Mrs. Jones shrieked, "You stick that damned thing in me one
more time and I'll break it off and shove it up your ass! "
his church. "Reverend," he said, "I have a problem. My wife
keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very
embarrassing. What should I do?"
"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this pin with
you. I'll be able to tell when she's sleeping, and I will
motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give her
a good poke in the leg with the pin."
In church the following Sunday, Mrs. Jones dozed off.
Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "...And who
made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mr.
Jones.
"Jesus!" cried Mrs. Jones as her husband jabbed her in the
leg with the pin.
"Yes, you are right, Mrs. Jones," said the minister.
Soon, Mrs. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister
noticed her dozing. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the
congregation, motioning towards Mr. Jones.
"God!" cried out Mrs. Jones as she was stuck again with the
pin once again. "Right again, Mrs. Jones," said the minister,
smiling and continuing his sermon.
Before long, Mrs. Jones dozed off again. However, this time
the minister didn't notice. As he picked up the tempo of his
sermon, he made a few motions that Mr. Jones mistook as
signals to wake his wife again.
He was just sticking his wife with the pin again when the
minister asked, "...And what did Eve say to Adam after she
bore him his 99th son?"
Mrs. Jones shrieked, "You stick that damned thing in me one
more time and I'll break it off and shove it up your ass! "
polly is ill
her stomach is swollen
they all think its an infection
i don't know what to think
she used to be so pretty
in her dresses
they're all gone now
the dresses
and the ribbons
somewhere in the drawers
locked up
and i spent hours
gnawing and scratching
all i wanted was to get back in
to give her back her things
and her parents sat me down and told me she was very sick
and that she was going to die
and i felt strangely calm
and then i started to sob
i locked myself in my room that night
put a little sign on the door
everyone was worried and i knew this because they were all banging on my
door and crying
and inside i was playing at trains
making them smash into eachother
and imagining all the people screaming and bleeding and dying
and in that moment i saw lots of things
the zillions of funerals all over the world
all the bad people who hurt eachother
because they don't see beneath the skin
the banging was getting louder
and their sobs were becoming screams and beggings
and at the root of my spine, there grew a little tingling
and as it climbed up
and leaked out into the warm spot
i felt them
the eight furies
Izanami
her darling brother
Amaterasu Susano and Tsuki-yomi
yes
his transcendance
for he was pure
and in the darkness i climbed the hill
watched the inky black ferocity of the ocean
and the bodies
the air was crisp
and unto it i spilled the waste
my misunderstandings
polly died on tuesday
i visited her in the metal room
she was wearing her favourite dress
and her hair gave rest to the most beautiful ribbons
she looked so pretty
and i wanted to kiss her on the cheek
or even perhaps the lips
but they wouldn't let me
and so now i place the bolt across my door
lie under the covers
close my eyes
and paint pictures of her corpse
touching myself as the wolves savage it.
her stomach is swollen
they all think its an infection
i don't know what to think
she used to be so pretty
in her dresses
they're all gone now
the dresses
and the ribbons
somewhere in the drawers
locked up
and i spent hours
gnawing and scratching
all i wanted was to get back in
to give her back her things
and her parents sat me down and told me she was very sick
and that she was going to die
and i felt strangely calm
and then i started to sob
i locked myself in my room that night
put a little sign on the door
everyone was worried and i knew this because they were all banging on my
door and crying
and inside i was playing at trains
making them smash into eachother
and imagining all the people screaming and bleeding and dying
and in that moment i saw lots of things
the zillions of funerals all over the world
all the bad people who hurt eachother
because they don't see beneath the skin
the banging was getting louder
and their sobs were becoming screams and beggings
and at the root of my spine, there grew a little tingling
and as it climbed up
and leaked out into the warm spot
i felt them
the eight furies
Izanami
her darling brother
Amaterasu Susano and Tsuki-yomi
yes
his transcendance
for he was pure
and in the darkness i climbed the hill
watched the inky black ferocity of the ocean
and the bodies
the air was crisp
and unto it i spilled the waste
my misunderstandings
polly died on tuesday
i visited her in the metal room
she was wearing her favourite dress
and her hair gave rest to the most beautiful ribbons
she looked so pretty
and i wanted to kiss her on the cheek
or even perhaps the lips
but they wouldn't let me
and so now i place the bolt across my door
lie under the covers
close my eyes
and paint pictures of her corpse
touching myself as the wolves savage it.
BrokenVisage
Lifer
- Jan 29, 2005
- 24,771
- 14
- 81
Originally posted by: Hayabusa Rider
Sorry, but I don't know any Hindu jokes. I'll have to think on that one
only hindu joke i know...
Q. what does a hindu?
A. lays eggs!
(best said with a big grin on your face
)<-- is a hindu
- Feb 16, 2003
- 26,108
- 5
- 81
- Feb 16, 2003
- 26,108
- 5
- 81
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