god I hate them

[Deeko]

edit - disclaimer: I don't care if you read this. Frankly, I don't really want you to, nor do I want your advice on what to do. I really just posted this to keep myself from exploding with anger.

sorry for the vague title...don't you hate people who can't take their problems up with the people they have problems with? My gf's foster parents hate me(for no reason, maybe because I can make her happy and they never were able to?), but instead of coming to me with whatever problems they have, they take it out on her. They scream at her and punish her for seeing me, they tell her she is going to make me drop out of college (because I come home to see her on weekends), that I lie to her and just tell her what she wants to hear, that I hate her family (which is partly true...her foster family anyway, simply because they hurt her so much), and all this other crap. This weekend, they are going away, and instead of letting her stay home, or at her mom's, or at a friends, they are freakin sending her to a group home for the weekend, because they think she is gonna lie and come up here with me. What kind of sh!t is that? God what do they want, before she met me, she drank, smoked pot, attempted suicide, among other things...I am the complete opposite of that, and she basically dropped all of that because of me, she is focused on doing well in school again, yea sure is a shame she is with me

God I don't understand it, they have no reason to hate me, I've always been nice and curteous to them and everything...its so frustrating that she has to go through so much pain because of me.

Sorry I doubt you guys care...but I can't actually take this up with her parents as that would make things worse, and I had to get something out before I exploded.

 

[Francodman]

Do you want a hug?

 

[Danman]

Originally posted by: Francodman
Do you want a hug?

Can I hug you?

 

[Deeko]

nope

 

[Francodman]

Originally posted by: cashman

Originally posted by: Francodman
Do you want a hug?

Can I hug you?

Sure why not...just stay north of the border.

 

[notfred]

don't you hate people who can't take their problems up with the people they have problems with?

Yopu mean like people who bitch about thier girlfriend's foster parents to an online messageboard?

 

[yobarman]

Stab them.

 

[tweakmm]

Originally posted by: Deeko
she drank, smoked pot, attempted suicide

you can lump these together how?

 

[pillage2001]

Originally posted by: yobarman
Stab them.

LOL.......this is just too funny.

 

[Goosemaster]

Originally posted by: yobarman
Stab them.

ahahhhhhhhhhhahahhahahah!!!LONFLAMAO!!


AHAHAH:LMAO




P.S.

If you love her.....make sure she knows it, and make sure you NEVER insult or degrate her family in front of her.....havinf her realize it on her own is all that you can hope for...

 

[Cattlegod]

Originally posted by: yobarman
Stab them.

beat me to it

 

[Deeko]

you can lump these together how?

Just a short sampling of the things she did back then...none of which are acceptable for a 14 year old girl.

If you love her.....make sure she knows it, and make sure you NEVER insult or degrate her family in front of her.....havinf her realize it on her own is all that you can hope for...

I let her know all the time...and she hates her family alot more than I do. I don't insult them, I only agree with her insults.

 

[NutBucket]

I would say just try and be neutral about her family to her. That's always the best thing to do.

 

[Deeko]

oh my god i just got off the phone with her, i am at the breaking point...they are making her life a living hell, all because they don't like me....I can't take this, I haven't been this angry in years :|

 

[Rainsford]

How old is she and how old are you? If she's old enough to live on her own, I'd work towards making that happen. You could share an apartment or something. I know that it may be a little soon for both of you, but that kind of environment isn't healthy for her. I'll take your comments at face value and assume you are good for her, because it sounds like it. But if she's 18, she should get out while she can.

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

Originally posted by: tweakmm

Originally posted by: Deeko
she drank, smoked pot, attempted suicide

you can lump these together how?

Both drinking and smoking pot can have adverse emotional effects - suicidal tendencies is entirely possible.

nik

 

[Deeko]

Unfortunetly, she is 17, a senior in high school. I'm 18. Next summer we will probably get an apartment together before she goes to college just so she doesn't have to spend the summer with them. It won't be all that early, we've been together over 10 months now, by then it will be a year and a half. Oh yea, I forgot to mention, this group home she is spending the weekend at is pretty far away. Oh yea, she has her SAT's on Saturday. Oh yea, I guess she won't be able to take them.

The whole fight with her mom this morning occurred because she was 4 minutes late coming home last night. She even called (she was at a restaraunt) and said, we are waiting for our check but its really busy, we might be a few minutes late, and her mom flipped out about this.

I would love to take her out of this enviroment. But for now, there is nothing I can do, I can't even say anything to them, because at any time for any reason her foster parents can kick her out of the house(they already did it a few months ago to another foster child), and I'm not gonna do something that will risk putting her in a group home permanently. Even though I can't imagine that being worse....

 

[rubix]

"don't you hate people who can't take their problems up with the people they have problems with?"

hey here's an idea, why don't you actually follow what you believe in instead of posting it here.

 

[Deeko]

if you'd read my previous post, I can't. If I said something to them, that puts her at risk. I'm not going to do that. And I'm not taking my problems with them out on someone else.

 

[whiteboyatcal]

Deeko,

I totally feel you man, I've been there before. What you really need to do is decide how much this girl actually means to you in the grand scheme of things. I have no doubt that you totally love this girl, but consider the long-term consequences. Do you really plan on marrying her? Would you consider a girl who has had previous tendencies like this marriage material? If you have even the slightest doubt, turn your back and run as fast as you can now or you may never have the chance. I know it sounds harsh, but i was in the exact same situation as you and I truly believed that I could somehow remove this particular girl from this situation. Well guess what, everything seemed to turn out for the best and she moved into her own place and broke off contact with her parents. For a few months everything was completely normal, then all of a sudden she turned psycho on me and tried repeatedly to kill herself, kill me, and generally cause problems. After almost a year of dealing with her, she ended up getting shipped off to the Army in Texas and got pregnant while in the Army and married the father (she was 19 at this point).

After that, I met a well-adjusted girl that came from a normal family situation and I've been 1000000000x happier and stress-free ever since. We've been together for well over a year. A couple years ago I would have thought differently, but this is just my $0.02 from personal experience. Just watch out or pretty soon you'll find yourself filing restraining orders...

 

[Deeko]

What you really need to do is decide how much this girl actually means to you in the grand scheme of things. I have no doubt that you totally love this girl, but consider the long-term consequences. Do you really plan on marrying her? Would you consider a girl who has had previous tendencies like this marriage material?

In all honesty, yes. If I had it my way we'd be together forever...her past problems were basically family related. Her mom and dad were never married, and eventaully they broke up when she was pretty young, she hasn't seen her dad since I've known her(11 months tomorrow). Her dad sends her child support, and thats it, no chirtmas or birthday cards or anything. He has been hospitalized several times with liver problems from drinking. Her mom has had 5 children, with 3 different fathers, and has never been married. Twp years ago she suffered severe alcoholism and was forced into rehab. This is when she moved in with her foster parents. Her most severe problems occured in the first year with the foster parents. The foster parents were very nice to her, until I came along. They started treating her worse and worse as we got closer. She isn't a bad or messed up kid, she just had so much going wrong in her life, now that things were becoming more stable, and she had a steady boyfriend to rely on, she is fine.

 

[Deeko]

wow I have class at 8 tomorrow, it would be great if I weren't so angry that I could sleep.