girlfriend of 6 yrs gone

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huberm

Golden Member
Dec 17, 2004
1,105
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the fiance and I have been having problems, so i finally gave her an ultimatum. I let her choose between 2 outcomes, one being fix some things that have been causing problems, or two continuing our lives apart. She chose the latter.

**sigh** guess i'll be lonely for a while. I bought a big house so we could share it together, now its just me.

please pass the tequila....
 
R

Reckoner

Lifer
Jun 11, 2004
10,851
1
81
Originally posted by: huberm
the fiance and I have been having problems, so i finally gave her an ultimatum. I let her choose between 2 outcomes, one being fix some things that have been causing problems, or two continuing our lives apart. She chose the latter.

**sigh** guess i'll be lonely for a while. I bought a big house so we could share it together, now its just me.

please pass the tequila....
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You bought the house before you got married? :confused:
 
H

huberm

Golden Member
Dec 17, 2004
1,105
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we have been engaged for about a year, we were planning on getting married in may.
 
The Stigenator

The Stigenator

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
15,216
3
81
consider this good luck.

hope that house is under your name?? she may be seeing someone else.. that's why she may have not wanted to work it out. most women are very single minded when they got something else on their mind.

if the house isnt on your name, pay her off for it.. so you can have it. women are overrated.
 
n7

n7

Elite Member
Jan 4, 2004
21,281
4
81
Hey, you had teh balls to give her a choice.

Better to do that than let things drag out forever...that's much worse...
 
DaTT

DaTT

Garage Moderator
Moderator
Feb 13, 2003
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Sad dude.....I couldn't imagine losing my SO

Edit: What were the problems?
 
H

huberm

Golden Member
Dec 17, 2004
1,105
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the house is in my name, so i'm lucky there.

Problems:
she has been working a job from 2pm-10:30pm for the past six months or so. I work 6:30AM-4:00PM. I told her she needed to change shifts so we could at least see each other sometimes (i'm asleep by the time she gets home, shes asleep when i leave). That was one of the things I told her needed changing - switching to a day shift

she has also been going out w/ friends until 4-5AM while I'm at home by myself. This is on her days off when it is the only time we can be together. I told her I wanted to settle down and become a family man, and that isn't part of settling down. Apparently she wants to continue staying out all hours of the night.
 
xanis

xanis

Lifer
Sep 11, 2005
17,571
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she has also been going out w/ friends until 4-5AM while I'm at home by myself. This is on her days off when it is the only time we can be together. I told her I wanted to settle down and become a family man, and that isn't part of settling down. Apparently she wants to continue staying out all hours of the night.
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It seems like you guys want two totally different lifestyles, and obviously staying together wouldn't work att this point in time. I wish you the best of luck.

 
DaTT

DaTT

Garage Moderator
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Feb 13, 2003
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....and now's the time to post her "special" pics. ;)
 
YetioDoom

YetioDoom

Platinum Member
Dec 12, 2001
2,162
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Sounds like you weren't meant for each other. I think you made the right choice, there are plenty of other fish in the sea.
 
G

George P Burdell

Lifer
Aug 25, 2004
11,151
1
81
Real sorry for ya dude, I'll drink my next shot of vodka in your name :thumbsup:

just look at it this way: better now than after the wedding.
 
H

huberm

Golden Member
Dec 17, 2004
1,105
1
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Originally posted by: George P Burdell
Real sorry for ya dude, I'll drink my next shot of vodka in your name :thumbsup:

just look at it this way: better now than after the wedding.
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agreed. No alimony, etc., etc. We have been having problems for the past couple/few months. I really don't know what I'll do with myself. I have been with her for so long, it is obvious to me that we really were for each other.

 
D

Deleted member 4644

How important was her job? Was it a career or was it the sort of job anyone can get?
 
D

dawnbug

Golden Member
Oct 29, 2002
1,670
0
0
Originally posted by: huberm
the house is in my name, so i'm lucky there.

Problems:
she has been working a job from 2pm-10:30pm for the past six months or so. I work 6:30AM-4:00PM. I told her she needed to change shifts so we could at least see each other sometimes (i'm asleep by the time she gets home, shes asleep when i leave). That was one of the things I told her needed changing - switching to a day shift

she has also been going out w/ friends until 4-5AM while I'm at home by myself. This is on her days off when it is the only time we can be together. I told her I wanted to settle down and become a family man, and that isn't part of settling down. Apparently she wants to continue staying out all hours of the night.
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That sounds a lot like what happened to one of my old managers. Except they were married and she chose to stay out all night partying, after they worked different shifts and never saw each other.

Like others said, at least it was before you got married.

And that said, it was probably for the best. Good luck in the next few months.
 
H

huberm

Golden Member
Dec 17, 2004
1,105
1
0
Originally posted by: LordSegan
How important was her job? Was it a career or was it the sort of job anyone can get?
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she was a nurse, her first job out of college.

The nursing industry is booming, she could have found another job. Besides that, she can request a shift change at her current employer.

She mentioned why don't I switch shifts or change jobs. I really can't. I wouldn't be able to find another job making the amount I am now, and I am the breadwinner. Also, I signed a contract for my job (military).
 
DaTT

DaTT

Garage Moderator
Moderator
Feb 13, 2003
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In all honesty, a couple months of problems is nothing really. I think the ultimatum was the wrong route to take. Counselling? A long talk over a nice dinner at a nice place? We here don't really know the whole situation, whether or not you have tried this. She sounds pretty shallow if she was willing to give up her relationship for bar hoping.....or maybe she lost interest in you, or maybe she wants more from you.......too many angles here. I think you should give it a couple days and see what happens. I hope everything works out for you in the end.
 
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