Girl Troubles...... ughhhhh!!!!

Train

Lifer
Jun 22, 2000
13,861
68
91
www.bing.com
OK, i dated this girl for like 4 months, we broke up about 3 weeks ago, actually we broke up twice before that, but seemed to forgive and forget and got back together within a week.

The last time we broke up, things got pretty nasty, and i thought this time it was done for good. and that i would just move on. Problem is, i keep thinking about her, and the more i do ther more i miss her, i just found an old card she got me and had the sweetest stuff written on it and boy i just felt like calling her right then and there, but i didnt. over the last week or 2, ive gotten over my anger and actually had some friendly conversations with her on AIM. we didnt get into any hot topics, it was like we never dated.

I'm living in a college town, even though im not currently taking classes, and all my roomates are in college, so its not hard finding girls to date, in fact, i had 2 dates within 4 days of breaking up with her, and i met some really hot chicks since then. The problem is no girl ive met in that time was half the woman Amanda was. Dont laugh but i actually liked the fact she had morals, and wasnt like anyone else, she enjoyed being different and was family oriented, like myself. And i just keep getting this feeling that I'll never find anyone with her integrity again. and that feeling sucks.

Should I just get over it and move on or should i let her know how i feel? Or let me know any other thoughts you guys/girls have on this subject, Thanks,
- Neil
 

SSP

Lifer
Oct 11, 1999
17,736
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Ok, first, reach for your ass, and pull your head out. Then, take the phone and call her. You might regret it for the rest of your life if you don't. A girl like that is hard to find.

BTW, I was just joking about the ass part.
 

Train

Lifer
Jun 22, 2000
13,861
68
91
www.bing.com
well, to be honest, that last week we were together i was kinda mean to her, and during our relationship i wasnt paying the most attention to her, i blame being on the computer too much and wanting to chill with my friends, i realize now those are both things i need to work on if i want to make things better, but besides those there were some incompatibilities between us that i think could have been worked out if i want such a lazy ass. hmm.. im still thinking about it.
 

Insomnium

Senior member
Aug 8, 2000
644
0
0
Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! ... And by "Do it!" i mean call her ;) The only thing worse than feeling bad now is looking back on this situation 5 years down the road and thinking "damn, i shoulda called Amanda when i had the chance" Anyway, that's my $.02
 

PUX

Member
Dec 26, 2000
46
0
0
Forget about her. There's plenty of others. She'll wind up screwing you over anyhow .. Four months isn't long enough for you to get out of the clouds to find out she's really a slut. If you've split up a couple of times within that period, it shows it's kind of an obsessive thing. Forget about her and move on.

Go tie one on and hook up.
 

hpkeeper

Diamond Member
Jun 30, 2000
4,036
0
0
I had the same problem Train, I too am a techy and wanted to be with my friends often, but she wanted me souly to herself anyways.... I went out with this girl for about 4 months... broke up now and then over stupid stuff but eventually made up... I don't regret it a day. The girl I went out with was my best friend for the longest time... I knew more about her than I know about my parents. I was very open with her and so was I.. greatest thing that ever happened to me. But we broke up... within three days she was going out with another guy (I think I know why she broke up with me, now that I mention that). You can do two things:

one - tell her how you feel about her (Which I did in my situtation)
two - forget about her and never talk to her again... (I did this too... if you say that you are as close as you where and you where really respecting each other and whatnot... she'll regret HER LOSS and crawl back... (which also happened to me, but I basically spit on her face), but she really treated me bad in the last week of that breakup.)

If you tell her how you feel and let her decide... if she knows what she had.. and how you felt sh'ell come back... but you just gotta let things go with the flow.
 

Yeeny

Lifer
Feb 2, 2000
10,848
2
0
Please ignore Pux the obviously woman hating stupid fu** post, and call her. You seem like a nice guy, and partners like that don't come around often. Take the chance, at least if it does not work out, you will not always think what if. Good luck! :)
 

ManSnake

Diamond Member
Oct 26, 2000
4,749
1
0
Stuff sux and be a monk!:p


















































j/k, give her a call, if it doesn't work out, at least you know you did everything you can to make it up! I wish you luck!





 

Train . . . train . . ..

Is that a moving train or a stationary train . . ..

Ok . . .. Here's what I have to say:

You have given the least detail about what went on between you two that caused the spilt. Nonetheless, from your comments, I gather you're thinking too much about you . . . you're self-centered, that is . . ..

You need to start looking beyond just you . . ..

First and foremost, has she any interest in you anymore?

I think your feeling is normal . . . everyone goes through that with particular relationships . . .. You need to ask most importantly If that was really a healthy relationship for you two. If it wasn't a healthy relationship, then what had you done to make it unhealthy; and what could you do to improve it?

If you think she's the main cause of the break-up, then I don't see why you would wanna get back with her. But I bet you have a lot of fault in the split up. So sit back and think about it . . . what you need to improve on . . .. A concession definitely helps in improving situations . . . 'cuz that's the first step . . ..

You've already started doing that . . . that's quite impressive!

While it is great that she has her moral standard that she chooses not to deviate from, I think you need to answer the question of compatibility between you two. She might have a personality that isn't compatible with yours. I'm sure there are other girls who have morals and compatible personalities. I mean, you could hook up with her with her moral standard, yet you see yourselves unhappy and split up years later . . ..

You've only seen her for 4 months before the split, so it is most likely that the feeling isn't something to act on . . .. The fact that within that short span you already have problems makes me wonder . . .. You better change for good . . ..

Anyway, I guess it's for you to think about . . . perhaps your train would get moving at a steady pace when you're done thinking . . .. ;) :p
 

fir3wir3

Banned
Oct 15, 2000
2,594
0
0
ahh, What it's like to be......

Anyways, just call her man

When you hear her voice for the first time again you'll know what to do

promise :)
 

qacwac

Senior member
Oct 12, 2000
408
0
0
He who finds a good wife finds a good thing... Proverbs 18:22

If you honestly think that she would be a good wife, that is virtuous, then she is worth far more than rubies. Provers 31:10
If so then do everything in your power to win her back.

If not then forget her. Yes it will be painful, you will think about her, you will miss her, BUT it will definitely be for the best.

And how do I know this. I was in love once. Maybe I still am. But she was not a godly girl and her breaking up with me has lead me to a greater relationship with God than I ever could have had. And I wouldn't go back for anything.

But that's just the wisdom of a 20 year old.
 

Muadib

Lifer
May 30, 2000
17,916
838
126
You've only been dating for 4 months, and you've already had 3 break ups? What's up with that? Sounds to me like someone can make his mind... What's it gonna be, your boys, or the sweet lady?
 

nullshark

Platinum Member
Oct 28, 1999
2,235
0
76
<BTW, I was just joking about the ass part.>

I wish I had a dime for every time I heard that, LOL.

Train, tell her what you told us:

<i realize now those are both things i need to work on if i want to make things better, but besides those there were some incompatibilities between us that i think could have been worked out if i want such a lazy ass.>

If you really feel like you want to build something with this girl, then buckle down and get to work. Don't fool her, and don't fool yourself.
 

UnixFreak

Platinum Member
Nov 27, 2000
2,008
0
76
you obviously havent listened to the preachings of the unix-geek. Be a jerk. I repeat, Be a jerk. Dont call her names or anything, but make her think she is priviledged to be speaking with you. If you take a sudden arrogant tone, she will wonder what you have up your sleeve. This is why women like jerks, they think a guy is a jerk because he has an &quot;ace in the hole&quot; and for some reason he is too good for her, and If she is with him, she has beat a challenge. Think about it, it makes sense. I may have to put more of my translations up. (woman-speak to english) Let me know if you are interested.
 

Train

Lifer
Jun 22, 2000
13,861
68
91
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Unix Freak, im well aware of what you are talking about, me and my friends have summarized it all up into what we call &quot;The Push-Pull Effect&quot; remembering this has helped me in several situations
 

Cosmic_Horror

Golden Member
Oct 10, 1999
1,500
0
0
train...

move on.... as much as i hate to say it, you guys will go thru the cycle and break up and get back togeather and break up again. If you have already broken up three times already, what will change next time you guys get back togeather?

i think you should make peace with each other and find someone new.
 

shiner

Lifer
Jul 18, 2000
17,116
1
0
Preach on Cosmic_Horror!!! No sense in sitting around being all depressed about some piece of tail. Go find a new one. College years are meant to have fun and expereince life. If you don't do it now, you will forever regret it.
 

sweetrobin

Golden Member
Jan 20, 2000
1,184
0
0
Dont be stupid and let a possible life match slip out of your life without fighting for it ... if this breakup was your fault ... buy her some flowers .. go over to her house .. and ask for a second chance ...
 

shiner

Lifer
Jul 18, 2000
17,116
1
0
&quot;Dont be stupid and let a possible life match slip out of your life without fighting for it ... if this breakup was your fault ... buy her some flowers .. go over to her house .. and ask for a second chance ... &quot;

And then you can both run off and live in Happy Fun Land where the sun shines all the time and the streets are made of Platinum.

Get real...if you guys have broken up 3 times already chances are it will happen again. Here's the most important thing I can teach you...pay attention...

NEVER LET A WOMAN CHANGE YOU!!! BE TRUE TO YOURSELF AND SOMEONE WILL COME ALONG THAT APPRECIATES YOU FOR YOU.