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girl help here wanted (no pics btw)

Koing

Koing

Elite Member <br> Super Moderator<br> Health and F
Edited: Revised short version::

I been out with this girl 3 times. I like her and when we spend time together either going out or on the phone I know she enjoys it. Shes is 22 and a 2nd year PhD student and I am 17 and will be 18 in December. She doesn't mind the age thing as she wouldn't have been out with me before and spend time speaking to me. This is what I think anyway.

Went out with her yesterday and had a good day. I enjoy her company very much and her. We've had dinner 3 times and shes paid for them all. I tried to pay but she paid before I got my wallet out. Shes a very nice person and I know that if I asked her out to a bar/club she would go. I don't know if shes doing this to be nice as she is very nice. She offered to buy me this jacket that I mentioned to her I liked when I was out in London with my friends. She went out to look for it and it wasn't there so she didn't buy it. But the thought is what matters to me. I dont' care if I had the jacket or not the thought is the main thing. But saying this she did buy my cousin a GBA for his birthday and they have been split for aobut 6 months after a year long serious relationship.

Some of my friends say to tell her how I feel about her and see how she reacts to what I say to her. My best mates says to play it cool and to continue seeing her and see how it goes. I been speaking to her a lot more over the past 2 months and seeing her for the past 4 weeks.

How would you more experienced guys do next? Date more then tell her how you feel about her? Or tell her how you feel about it at the next chance? Anything else?

I'm going to see her next this Sunday and take her out for llunch when she gets her break at work and spend the day if she can take the day off.

No pics as I'm not going to ask her for permission and I do have some pics but shes very camera shy. She even worked out and deleted the pics I took of her when we went rock climbing!
 
I bet if you added proper punctuation your WPM would drop to 30!

Anyway, make a move. Don't be a chickensh!t.

Edit: Oh yeah.....where's the Anandtech Prose Mod when you need him/her?
 
Shes sounds like a great girl. You say she's older than you by 4 years? And getting a PhD? Wow. Well, I can tell you that girls who are finished with college and trying to start their careers are in a different place than fellows who are 17 and (I'm guessing) haven't started college yet or aren't going to college. They are looking for someone to spend their life with at this point, not just someone to have fun with (I'm generalizing, I know, not all 22 year old girls are like this.) At 22, a girl is not the same as she was at 17, and neither is a guy. It's a period of immense change in our lives, and you must be quite a guy if a 22 year old woman wants to hang out with you at 17. It sounds to me like she wants to have more, but she sees you as kind of a kid (since she seems to pay for everything) If it was me, I'd tell her that you have feelings for her as more than a friend, and you want to know if she feels the same way, but if she doesn't, then you still want to be just friends, since the relationship is important to you. Good luck!
 
She dated your cousin? How close are you and your cousin? IOW, it wasn't like you double dated with them all the time or hung out with them all the time, right? I mean, that would be awkward. Kinda like "I watched you make out with my cousin for a year and now I want to make out with you too." Creepy. If this isnt' the case. (I hope it isnt') Then just bust a move on her. She's already said she'd go out with you; climbing, shopping, clubbing, etc. so she's already into the "friends thing" My only concern is that she's already in a mindset of "he's a "friend" but not that kind of friend.

If rock climbing goes well and there is an opportunity where you two are alone, just suck in that gut and say, "Look Mary, we've been friends for a long time and have come to know each other pretty well, right? Righto. I've always found you to be extremely intelligent...and really pretty too <does the "aw shucks" thing with foot while looking at floor> I was wondering if I could take you out-out? You know what I mean?"

She will know what you mean. I'll be honest with you though. After two years, most women would be thinking of you as "safe." I.E. like your pecker don't work (or think...but we know who runs the show, right? 😀) She might be very put-off by you trying to bust a move.

Heck, wait till you are in a situation where you won't have to sit there for hours in case it goes bad. Do this. Chat her up. Make her laugh, smile and lean over and try to kiss her. Softly and slowly. Don't rape the poor girl (Figuratively speaking, people...figuratively.) She will either give you a nice kiss, or push you away and say "what the hell are you doing?" If it's the latter, just apologize and say "sorry, I lost my head." and forget about it. Hope this helps.
 


<< I bet if you added proper punctuation your WPM would drop to 30!

Anyway, make a move. Don't be a chickensh!t.

Edit: Oh yeah.....where's the Anandtech Prose Mod when you need him/her? >>




I just normally type like that when emailing my friends, but when I write or do things properly then I use correct grammer and punctuation okay? Good🙂

Thanks *BigJohnKC* and *MichaelD*.

And BigJohnKC yeah you are right shes a great girl. I'm 17 yes but here in England I am 2nd year of College and going to Uni KCL in September so I am in my last year of College before Uni. This is comparable to last year of HS in the states and I would be going on to College/Uni in the states. Shes in her 2nd year as a PhD student. Shes not really set on a proper business career type of thing. Shes going to finish her PhD then do a Doctorate and then hopefully be a proffessor. She hopes to do this. I know girls at that age are different. The girls around me are my age and the maturity difference is obvious. And aren't in to the serious commited relationships that I am in to. So with her being older its better.

Thanks I know I'm a different guy to what I use to be a few years ago. I'm much more confident in things I do. With her paying for the dinner and stuff that does get annoying as I do have a *job* and I do have money. And no I am not a rich kid. I work for my money its not given to me by mummy and daddy. She doesn't pay for everything I paid for other things.#

To MichaelD.

She didn't just date my cousin they were serious for a year. How close am I to my cousin? We are like brothers and very close. He doesn't have a clue that I have been going out with Renu a few times but he would probably say go for it. Hes got another steady girlfriend. I've met all his girlfriends in Uni. As I hang around him quite a bit and go out etc. No no we didn't double date. I've just met her a few times and we just did things together. And I didn't watch them make out. I know she'd go out and do things with me. True we've been out together 3 times so I don't think shes quite got the mind set of me as friends yet.

Rock climbing did go well. It was about 2 weeks ago. And I bottled it out of that situation to tell her. That was our 2nd time out also. We've been friends for *not that* long. I may have known her for 2 years but I've not really spoken to her for the most part of that 2 years. Its only really been the past 6 weeks that we've really gotten to know each other.

""Look Mary, we've been friends for a long time and have come to know each other pretty well, right? Righto. I've always found you to be extremely intelligent...and really pretty too <does the "aw shucks" thing with foot while looking at floor> I was wondering if I could take you out-out? You know what I mean?" "

What do you mean by the take her out thing? When people on here say that it sort of confuses me. I've taken her out to a few bars and clubs and just spent time in our own with her.

Yeah the kissing idea *did* cross my mind as well. And that if she kisses me back she probably wants more then friends like me. But if she doens't then we know and I'll be friends.....

Thanks guys for all the help. More help????
 
Communication is key, man. Just talk to her. You'd be surprised at how clear things get when you're just blunt and honest with someone.
 
Sounds like your gettin sloppy secconds... Hate to pry but hey its AT how "close" are you to this girl, shes much older than you and im sure shes been around more than you. Id be careful it can be a good or bad thing. If I were you and you were me I would use your body to find another woman 🙂
 


<< Communication is key, man. Just talk to her. You'd be surprised at how clear things get when you're just blunt and honest with someone. >>



yes I know. We talk a lot on the phone and when we are out we are always talking. We never nothing to say.

I'm just wondering to go out a few more times then tell her how I feel about her and be honest there and then or or do it sooner? LIke I've said before I may have known her for 2 years and been out with her and my cousin but its only been the last 6 weeks that we've been getting to know each other more. We've been out 3 times and I am seeing her next this Sunday. I also think that her being now with my cousin also helps as before I only thought of her as a nice girl that was friendly and good looking. Shes been split up with my cousin for about 6 months.......
 
Talk to her and get to know her better. Try not to stress over what's the next step in a relationship for each one is unique and goes at it's own pace.
Focus on her, and see what happens.
 


<< Sounds like your gettin sloppy secconds... Hate to pry but hey its AT how "close" are you to this girl, shes much older than you and im sure shes been around more than you. Id be careful it can be a good or bad thing. If I were you and you were me I would use your body to find another woman 🙂 >>



I know shes older then me and I also know that shes only had 2 serious relationships and that she definately isn't the type to sleep around. She doesn't smoke, drink or do drugs (shes never even tried). Hey she doens't eat any meat! Shes religous and so am I. Differently religions granted though. Me being Christian and her being Gujarati.

Thanks Elita1 I think I'm just going to keep dating and see what happens next. When the time and when I feel right I'll tell her how I feel.

Thanks everyone for the help and reassurance. I'll tell you how I get on if anything else more devolops between us. Been most helpful (some of you guys🙂)

BoYRaCeR yeah I know I am MAKING sure this time I am paying for EVERYTHING on Sunday. Its not that I don't its that she *insists* on paying for dinner and things. But this Sunday I am paying. But I think its a good thing that she does pay for some thing. Making sure that shes not like some girls that expect the guy to pay for absolutely everything and I think that is a bit selfish of them to do so. Sure a guy is going to pay but not for everything though.........
 
Take her out and make her smile and laugh. Make eye contact(this is key). Put her at ease with you. Ask to hold her hand(if she smiles and gives it to you..you are pretty much in).

Then say that this last 6 weeks that we have been hanging out has been great. She is intelligent and witty, beautiful and sexy, the type of woman that could make any man weak in the knees, Koing included...

Then pull her to you and see if she starts to close her eyes(You are in for sure)..then I'm sure you can figure out the rest.

Good or bad, let us know what happens...
 


<< Take her out and make her smile and laugh. Make eye contact(this is key). Put her at ease with you. Ask to hold her hand(if she smiles and gives it to you..you are pretty much in).

Then say that this last 6 weeks that we have been hanging out has been great. She is intelligent and witty, beautiful and sexy, the type of woman that could make any man weak in the knees, Koing included...

Then pull her to you and see if she starts to close her eyes(You are in for sure)..then I'm sure you can figure out the rest.

Good or bad, let us know what happens... >>




Thanks for that🙂.

Good idea about asking to hold her hand. I think I'll probably do when I think the mood is right. That will set the scene and the mood up. If she does then I will tell her the things you said along the same lines and then I'll slowly move in and go to kiss her. If I get a good response then THANK YOU ALL! and I'll be the happest guy in town ^_^.

Thanks again you must be quite smooth with the ladies.......

I'll let all you guys know how I get on Sunday if the timing is right..........

When we go out I always make her smile, laugh and have good convosations. I think this is why she likes to be with me.
 
Careful where you are when you try to kiss her. My GF, before she was my GF, almost threw me into a river about 3 years ago, in the dead of winter. That was the first time I had kissed her and she really wasn't expecting it...we were at the river bank and I thought it was especially romantic...apparently she disagreed. Fortunately, she didn't throw me in the river, but she came close. ;p
 


<< Careful where you are when you try to kiss her. My GF, before she was my GF, almost threw me into a river about 3 years ago, in the dead of winter. That was the first time I had kissed her and she really wasn't expecting it...we were at the river bank and I thought it was especially romantic...apparently she disagreed. Fortunately, she didn't throw me in the river, but she came close. ;p >>



Thanks for that. I'll make my move when I feel right and just go with the mood and hopefully she'll know how I feel and how she feels towards me.......
 
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