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GF dumps me and now says she wants to be friends

C

ChrisIsBored

Diamond Member
Out of the blue after a 10 month relationship it came. Didn't expect a thing and it happened. She says she just doesn't feel like being in a relationship anymore and wants to be alone, but still wants to be friends.

What to do.. what to do...

I need some cheering up, give me some advice for situations like these...

Added stuff:

In the past she had a BF for a month and things didn't work out, so they became best of friends, this is what she's expecting of us, but I think our time together meant more than a 1 month relationship for me to not feel pain being around her and with a weak excuse for a breakup like that.
 
OMG, I hate when that happens...........no excuse or reason why she dumped you.......that's retarded...... 🙁
 
You need to just end contact with her until you feel comfortable around her. If you stay "friends" I can guarantee that you will be hurting everytime you are around her. You will get over her quicker if you keep to other friends and maybe down the road you can be friends.

Jim
 
I take it you are young? Get used to it. That is code for "I found a hot guy that I want to be with, instead of you." My experience is that the "friend" thing wont work out. I had a man tell me once "I have been trying to figure out women for almost 50 years now. I came up with this, dont waste your time trying to figure them out. Just love em." Probably the best advice I have ever recieved.
 
Not only that you can have sex occasionally, you can now get with other girls without worrying.
 
Maybe its better. I am wondering why my girl likes me so much, so much that it is kind of scary. But what is more scary is that her ex-boyfreind, a pretty buff jock in Florida, wants to tear me to shreds!:frown: I am praying to God that her exboyfriend is to dumb to know where Massachussetts is.
 
Get rid of her. You'll just end up being hurt over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.
 
Do not be friends. It will only remind you of the hurt. Your best bet is to say thanks, but no thanks. Be an adult and walk away. I've seen guys get into traps like this where they will still do anything for the girl and she has to do practically nothing to keep them roped along. Nice guys deserve better than that but you'll only get it if you watchful and smart.
 
NO GOOD, do NOT be friends with her. This is not working for me at all, cause I dumped my girlfriend a whiles back, told her I don't want to ever see her again. But ever so often she keeps poping around and it's just one big ... "get together" if you know what I mean. Can't say that I don't enjoy it.... but still! Being friends with an Ex is a bad idea and it's more trouble then it's worth. Keep your distance, you might need to be mean from time to time.. even if that's not who you are. Take control of yourself.

Sorry that I can't give any adive that cheers you up 🙁 But things like this are kinda crappy anyway
 
OK, from a girl's perspective, believe it or not, she might REALLY still want your friendship (imagine that). It might be hard at first, and I recommend maybe a month apart, but then try to revive the friendship.

I planned on remaining friends with my ex (of three years). We went out a few times after we broke up, but half-way through this summer it was as though something snapped. He quit returning my phone calls and my e-mails. I didn't want to bother him, so I gave up. But it hurts, I really did enjoy our friendship and hoped it could last.

So do her (and yourself) a favor, and try to keep her as a friend. I'm sure you won't regret it.
 
The Blonde One,

I'm not suggesting that she doesn't want his friendship, only that it would probably be a very one-sided friendship with our friend on the losing side. We nice-guys tend to do too much for our female companions sometimes and that often leads to trouble for us.
 
Added another little tidbit of conversation to my thread....

In the past she had a BF for a month and things didn't work out, so they became best of friends, this is what she's expecting of us, but I think our time together meant more than a 1 month relationship for me to not feel pain being around her and with a weak excuse for a breakup like that.


Part of me says I still care for her too much to not have her as part of my life. She wants some time alone, this doesn't exclude that perhaps once she's getting over that, that we won't be able to work things out again. I think the reason being she felt like our relationship wasn't going anywhere was because of all the stress i've been dealing with in the last month or so and haven't had as much time to dedicate to her...

But then there's the logical side of me that's saying f*ck that, of all the stupid reason's to break up a good thing. Been there before and the friendship thing doesn't really work for me well, at least hasn't in the past. The only thing that sucks, she lives a few houses away. Advantage #1 when you're in the relationship, disadvantage #1 when it's over I guess.

And yes i'm still young, only 20.

Another sad thing for me, my younger sister lives with me, I pay the bills and all that, but my ex has gotten accustomed to hanging out with my sister, it's too hard to just get away from her. I guess I put myself into a tight situation without realizing it before getting into this relationship.
 
Don't play any mind games of any sort. In my experience, the solution I've arrived at is harsh but it seems like the only solution (at least for me): Complete and Total Cut-Off.
 
Its not you, its me.

--

Anyway there is nothing you can do. NOTHING. That sucks, but just move on. Chances of you really remaining friends is hovering around the 40% mark. Ever hanging out seriuosly again hanging around the 5% mark.

As others have said cut yourself off from her. Even if you remained friends you'd always want to be more. It mostly likely can't work and isn't worth trying.
 
I would agree with everyone that says end contact. You dont have to forever, but right now it helps by jsut getting away from her and her closes friends. Its sucks the way this stuff happens sometimes, I know. Anyway, good luck to you.
 
end contact for at least 3 months, unless you get a new gf within those 3 months, in which case, you can resume contact. don't think about her, don't hate her, don't pine for her, carry on as if she never existed.
 


<< So do her (and yourself) a favor, and try to keep her as a friend. I'm sure you won't regret it. >>



Well, from somone who has tried to do that, I do regret it. Both people have to have the same idea of what kind of friendship they would like. If one wants to be better friends than the other, then it's not going to work. It also gets to a point where you're such close friends, you might as well be going out again. Best thing to do is just drop the whole thing and start over. There are plenty of other people in this world and while it may be hard, there's always someone else out there for you.
 
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