Getting Married

[Miramonti]

If you're going to get married, its best to do early, because someone's bound to come up with a vaccine sooner or later.

Seriously, I'm happy for you, that's fantastic. :wine::thumbsup:

Geekbabe's suggestions provide an excellent framework imo. When on a budget with a small group like 20, the more simple you can make it, the more fun you can have because things don't need to be perfect. They are more personable this way as a result just as memorable imo.

 

[mrrman]

congrats....

 

[Shadowknight]

Originally posted by: Nitemare
Run Forrest, Run!

Well, that was nosequita. Last time I checked they didn't have a marriage scene in the Forrest Gump movie, much less one that involved running.

 

[Sam334]

If you guys are currently in that sort of financial situation, I would (again) strongly suggest a prenup. Neither of you want to be paying in case things don't work out. Best of luck with everything

 

[squirrel dog]

In Louisiana we make a jambolia or some such dsh that will feed all the guests . Its rice based with chicken and is very reasonable .

 

[tami]

a wedding in a park would probably be nicer than a wedding at D&B.

 

[Miramonti]

Originally posted by: Sam334
If you guys are currently in that sort of financial situation, I would (again) strongly suggest a prenup. Neither of you want to be paying in case things don't work out. Best of luck with everything

Prenups are for people going into marriage with assets. A wife who perhaps wants to be a stay at home mom if the husband makes enough would be out of their mind to sign one.

 

[IronWing]

Potluck. Seriously think about it.

 

[Conky]

I told my grrlfriend I want to get a common law marriage... they don't get any cheaper. :laugh:

Yes, I am part Ferengi.

:beer:

 

[Sam334]

Originally posted by: jjsole

Originally posted by: Sam334
If you guys are currently in that sort of financial situation, I would (again) strongly suggest a prenup. Neither of you want to be paying in case things don't work out. Best of luck with everything

Prenups are for people going into marriage with assets. A wife who perhaps wants to be a stay at home mom if the husband makes enough would be out of their mind to sign one.

lol, say that to a guy who makes 30 grand/yr and has to pay alimony.

 

[Stunt]

Originally posted by: ironwing
Potluck. Seriously think about it.

:laugh:

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: Sam334
If you guys are currently in that sort of financial situation, I would (again) strongly suggest a prenup. Neither of you want to be paying in case things don't work out. Best of luck with everything

When you both come to the marriage with nothing but your futures,which you're pledging to interweave,there's no need of a prenup.

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: Sam334
If you guys are currently in that sort of financial situation, I would (again) strongly suggest a prenup. Neither of you want to be paying in case things don't work out. Best of luck with everything

When you both come to the marriage with nothing but your futures,which you're pledging to interweave,there's no need of a prenup.

Geekbabe understands....I am willing to bet most that replied have never been close to a real marriage or even laid yet.

no need for BS and prenups...someone has a '74 pinto today and wants a prenup :roll:, you shouldn't have had a 3 year engagement either.

Getting married is not the ceremony. There are tons of people doing the right thing that do the ceremony on an anniversary. If you want to be one under the eyes of the government and others do the marriage. No need to do rings or name changes.

 

[RKS]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: Sam334
If you guys are currently in that sort of financial situation, I would (again) strongly suggest a prenup. Neither of you want to be paying in case things don't work out. Best of luck with everything

When you both come to the marriage with nothing but your futures,which you're pledging to interweave,there's no need of a prenup.

congrats on your recent nuptuals and good luck with your marriage.

your comment however, is idealistic not realistic. there is a reason why most family/divorce attornies are quite well-off.

 

[eakers]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
My wedding was very frugal but a tasteful and fun affair.

We married at an outdoor gazebo overlooking a pretty pond in a public park,it was free

Cost of license and JP -$75

We held a dinner reception in a lovely chinese restaurant which had great lighting and was decorated in lovely pastel colors. $300 including tip bought enough food to feed 20 people and some leftover for nibblies later.

After the dinner we held an after party at the home of our bestman/matron of honor

$150 worth of beer,wine,malibu rum was served

our wedding cake, a 2 tier beautifully decorated cake from a baker's outlet-$38
champage toast provided as a gift by my co-workers

I did my own flowers and bridal headpiece, bought a gorgous gown that was deeply discounted, hunted dollar stores for favors (gave out lovely candles and incense burner sets)

registred on the web with Mr Tux and outfitted the men very inexpensively


my attendents filmed the wedding and took pics-no need for a photographer.From what I've seen of the pics and video thus far, a beautiful job was done !


We had a great wedding for well under $1,500 and that includes wedding rings.People are still commenting on how much fun they had and what a beautiful wedding it was.

Remember, you guys have the money which means you are in charge not the wedding vendors.Don't be afraid to negotiate for what you want.Also,think about the details that are important to you. For us it was that our friends be well fed and offered plenty to drink.We didn't want a million person formal circus that would have forced our friends to buy expensive clothing or other things they couldn't afford. I wanted it pretty,intimate and fun and think we suceeded beautifully.

Wow! That is awesome!

A friend of mine just got married and they had theirs in a church and then after everyone just went to the bride's fathers house for a huge bbq/bon fire thing. She said everyone had a fantastic time and quite a few people ended up staying in tents after so they could drink. In the morning, the bride's mum cooked a huge breakfast for all the people who stayed over.

I think they had around 50 people or so.

eta: don't get a prenup. if you love eachother, you don't need it.

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: RKS

your comment however, is idealistic not realistic. there is a reason why most family/divorce attornies are quite well-off.

If you have no assets you are bringing to the table what are you going to base a pre-nup on. I have not heard of one that stood in court based on 'future assets while married'.

 

[RKS]

Originally posted by: alkemyst

Originally posted by: RKS

your comment however, is idealistic not realistic. there is a reason why most family/divorce attornies are quite well-off.

If you have no assets you are bringing to the table what are you going to base a pre-nup on. I have not heard of one that stood in court based on 'future assets while married'.

earning potential usually based on education

if one spouse is going to school while the other is the earner or foregoes opportunities then all future assests that were foreseeable will come into consideration during a divorce. A pre-nup may specify that each partner is entitled to what they earned directly, not as a partnership.

 

[Amplifier]

Originally posted by: Sam334
prenup

 

[George P Burdell]

:thumbsup:

 

[phreakah]

Originally posted by: Amplifier

Originally posted by: Sam334
prenup

 

[DrPizza]

prenup is retarded in your situation
As was said, I agree that a ceremony in the gazebo of some nice park would be a huckuva lot nicer than D&B. You've got the right idea though; a small ceremony with your friends is a LOT more pleasant than a more formal ceremony with a sit-down dinner. There are too many idiots out there who want fairytale weddings and end up with nothing more than a huge debt.
For photos, have friends take pictures for you with their cameras and digital cameras and recorders. If you want to buy each other a nice wedding gift - as a couple, get a very good digital camera (example: Cannon Rebel XT) and then have a friend take hundreds of pictures using it and a variety of settings (so you can pick the best pictures.) Then, you'll have a good start on being able to record your lives together.

(from Geekbabe)
Remember, you guys have the money which means you are in charge not the wedding vendors.Don't be afraid to negotiate for what you want.Also,think about the details that are important to you. For us it was that our friends be well fed and offered plenty to drink.We didn't want a million person formal circus that would have forced our friends to buy expensive clothing or other things they couldn't afford. I wanted it pretty,intimate and fun and think we suceeded beautifully.

I couldn't have said it better. My mother-in-law (wonderful person) insisted on a high priced photographer. My wife and I had virtually no fun at our wedding as he attempted to rule over every action we took. example: if I smeared cake on her face (cause her make-up would be different later and the pictures wouldn't look right) he was going to walk out. To this day, my wife and I wish we smeared cake on HIS face. We've always regretted a more formal ceremony - it was no fun for anyone until the afterward party.

 

[Amplifier]

Originally posted by: DrPizza
prenup is retarded in your situation

Secretly hates his life.

 

[AMCRambler]

Consummate consummate consummate. That is all

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: RKS

Originally posted by: alkemyst

Originally posted by: RKS

your comment however, is idealistic not realistic. there is a reason why most family/divorce attornies are quite well-off.

If you have no assets you are bringing to the table what are you going to base a pre-nup on. I have not heard of one that stood in court based on 'future assets while married'.

earning potential usually based on education

if one spouse is going to school while the other is the earner or foregoes opportunities then all future assests that were foreseeable will come into consideration during a divorce. A pre-nup may specify that each partner is entitled to what they earned directly, not as a partnership.

It doesn't work this way at all and many prenups based on things like 'the wife doesn't work so she didn't contribute to the gain of assets' have fallen apart in court.

For one a pre-nup in the OP's situation is retarded to begin with, and this is now an argument on more 'what if' than 'what is'.

If you went to school 10 years and your marry while your wife is still in school....are you saying she doesn't have the potential to add to earnings in the furture? Are you saying any gain in assets are 100% the graduated spouse?

Every partner contributes...whether it's preparing a meal, mailing out bills, washing the car, making sure someone is home for a house call....etc.

Once you marry, most courts look at that as now a partnership...if you are making 6 figures+ a year and decide to marry a 4-5 figure drop out, that was YOUR decision and in making a partnership (marriage) you are agreeing to be one financially at that point on.

A pre-nup is designed to keep all the assets you had gained prior to marriage safe, as well as certain contractual obligations that the third-parties would not want a spouse involved in.

Nothng stops one for getting a ridiculous pre-nup though and spending big bucks on it....however; if the court doesn't find it fair it's pointless....most courts will not rule for a rich spouse trying to 'disown' a previously poorer one during a divorce, no matter who instigated it.

 

[RKS]

Originally posted by: alkemyst

Originally posted by: RKS

Originally posted by: alkemyst

Originally posted by: RKS

your comment however, is idealistic not realistic. there is a reason why most family/divorce attornies are quite well-off.

If you have no assets you are bringing to the table what are you going to base a pre-nup on. I have not heard of one that stood in court based on 'future assets while married'.

earning potential usually based on education

if one spouse is going to school while the other is the earner or foregoes opportunities then all future assests that were foreseeable will come into consideration during a divorce. A pre-nup may specify that each partner is entitled to what they earned directly, not as a partnership.

It doesn't work this way at all and many prenups based on things like 'the wife doesn't work so she didn't contribute to the gain of assets' have fallen apart in court.

For one a pre-nup in the OP's situation is retarded to begin with, and this is now an argument on more 'what if' than 'what is'.

If you went to school 10 years and your marry while your wife is still in school....are you saying she doesn't have the potential to add to earnings in the furture? Are you saying any gain in assets are 100% the graduated spouse?

Every partner contributes...whether it's preparing a meal, mailing out bills, washing the car, making sure someone is home for a house call....etc.

Once you marry, most courts look at that as now a partnership...if you are making 6 figures+ a year and decide to marry a 4-5 figure drop out, that was YOUR decision and in making a partnership (marriage) you are agreeing to be one financially at that point on.

A pre-nup is designed to keep all the assets you had gained prior to marriage safe, as well as certain contractual obligations that the third-parties would not want a spouse involved in.

Nothng stops one for getting a ridiculous pre-nup though and spending big bucks on it....however; if the court doesn't find it fair it's pointless....most courts will not rule for a rich spouse trying to 'disown' a previously poorer one during a divorce, no matter who instigated it.

Truth is we could go on boring diatribes for days discussing the intricacies of family law and the legitimacy of pre-nup there within . I have neither the desire nor the stamina for such sustained intellectual diarrhea hence my posting on ATOT.

That said any pre-nup will be valid if it does not leave a spouse a ward of the state or effect the recognition of children and as long as there is:
Disclosure of assets/liabilities/etc
Separate legal counsel or opportunity to get counsel
Fairness/ no unfair burden at the time of agreement

I suppose if you are in a community property state the assets are divided 50-50 but I?m not sure about those particular states.

The strong suit of the pre-nup for those with little or no assets at the onset of marriage is defining what will be marital property and what will be separate property. Then there are separate considerations regarding alimony/palimony.

Anyway I never said that a pre-nup was proper or improper in this current thread. I?m just saying that rose-colored glasses can hide some ugly sh!t and it is better to be safe than sorry.

As for me personally I don?t have a pre-nup and we both have quite a few pre-marital assets. I also earned a JD while married and have 1 child with another due in a couple months so any divorce would be very fiscally messy. I have been with my wife for over 10 years and I could never foresee anything happening but I am not gonna get her name tattooed any time soon. For all I care she could have everything but she could never take away my child or my education and after my wife those are the only thing that really matter to me.