Getting Divorced - It is officially over! Done! Fini!

[dquan97]

Saigon, I'm sorry to hear about the pending divorce. My wife came from a divorced family and it gets weird during the holidays when we visit her family...we have to split our time between two households.

I also work for the state enforcing child support, so I get to hear plenty of sob stories about your plight. Hang in there!

 

[maziwanka]

i hope things work out for u in the end (especially with the kids involved). i could never imagine getting a divorce (that is, when i get married). again, good luck for u and ur wife.

 

[SaigonK]

It's a tough time, I was fine for a couple of weeks, I felt as though maybe I could move on and do this whole thing.
Now I am in the car listening to the radio thinking "What the hell is going on here! Why cant I change this!?!" For the past three days or so I have been sort of disconnected from everything around me. I can work just fine, I joke and laugh with people like I always have, but people look at me and ask me if I am tired or if I stayed up to late the night before.

(I am going to bed at a reasonable time and getting a full nights sleep.)


One thing that I cant stand is that every damn tune on the radio sounds like my plight! What a pain in the ass that it!
This new MatchBox 20 song drives me nuts...

There's some things in this world
You just can't change
Some things you can't see
Until it gets too late

I got a hole in me now
I got a scar I can talk about
She keeps a picture of me
In her apartment in the city
Some things in this world
They don't make sense
Some things you don't need
Until they leave you
And they're things that you miss


What the heck is that? Was this guy hanging out i my closer for the last 3 months?

 

[SaigonK]

Bump for an update.....

 

[GTaudiophile]

All I can say is, what a biatch!

I was 19 when my parents divorced in 1999 after 26 years together. FEEL SORRY for your kids as divorce is hell at any age and even worse when you're young.

 

[Doggiedog]

I'm sorry to say but I told you so.

Nobody turns themselves off like that unless they are cheating.

I suggest you do not tell her about what you found. Hire a detective to snoop around a bit. If what you suspect is true, you will have a huge upperhand when it comes to settling your marriage. Like others have said, she is now the enemy. You have to look out for your own interests now.

Good luck.

 

[GTaudiophile]

Originally posted by: Doggiedog
I'm sorry to say but I told you so.

Nobody turns themselves off like that unless they are cheating.

I suggest you do not tell her about what you found. Hire a detective to snoop around a bit. If what you suspect is true, you will have a huge upperhand when it comes to settling your marriage. Like others have said, she is now the enemy. You have to look out for your own interests now.

Good luck.

I agree.

 

[LordMagnusKain]

Originally posted by: GTaudiophile

Originally posted by: Doggiedog
I'm sorry to say but I told you so.

Nobody turns themselves off like that unless they are cheating.

I suggest you do not tell her about what you found. Hire a detective to snoop around a bit. If what you suspect is true, you will have a huge upperhand when it comes to settling your marriage. Like others have said, she is now the enemy. You have to look out for your own interests now.

Good luck.

I agree.

you are a good man, you need to protect your children from her.

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: LordMagnusKain

Originally posted by: EagleKeeper

Originally posted by: LordMagnusKain
what selfish people would do that to their kids... man.

Too many spouses are interested in shafting/payback to the other to be concerned with the impact on the kids.

A civil divorce would be easier/smoother on the children, but then there is no revenge factor (encourage by family/friends and lawyer snakes) against the other party.

good information about how detrimental to the kids this is should be found and given to her, if she has any regard beyond herself she'll see she needs to forget her worthless BS and stick with it for another few years.

I hate to tell all you REALISTS this, but chances are her response will merely be "Well agree with me then".

Both = solemn bliss for the kids.

Usually the crazy person in any deal is banking on the sane one to give up.

If you have unlimited funds you can keep the B/S going indefinitely pretty much.

Å

 

[Ausm]

Originally posted by: GTaudiophile

Originally posted by: Doggiedog
I'm sorry to say but I told you so.

Nobody turns themselves off like that unless they are cheating.

I suggest you do not tell her about what you found. Hire a detective to snoop around a bit. If what you suspect is true, you will have a huge upperhand when it comes to settling your marriage. Like others have said, she is now the enemy. You have to look out for your own interests now.

Good luck.

I agree.

Amen Brother..my ex did that she did a complete 180 in the matter of 1 week.

ausm

 

[wizardbud]

Interesting and also a very sad thread...
Lot's of pain and sorrow and suffering.
It's a shame that so many Americans who marry, divorce so readily.
What's the current rate of divorce?
6 out of 10?
7 out of 10?

When I hear our current president (and what a complete joke this bible thumping clown is) saying that he believes in the "sanctity of marriage" and that he supports a constitutional amendment banning same sex marriages, it makes me want to puke.

Same thing with that asswipe from Tennessee Bill Frist, and that homophobic idiot from Pennsylvania Rick Santorium, all of them screaming about how gay couples should not be allowed to marry.

Maybe they will do better and we can learn something from them?
They can't do any worse, can they?

Good luck my friend and heed some the advice you have been given.
Stay calm and controlled and document EVERYTHING.
One bad move here on your part, and your doomed.

 

[J0hnny]

Originally posted by: wizardbud
Interesting and also a very sad thread...
Lot's of pain and sorrow and suffering.
It's a shame that so many Americans who marry, divorce so readily.
What's the current rate of divorce?
6 out of 10?
7 out of 10?

When I hear our current president (and what a complete joke this bible thumping clown is) saying that he believes in the "sanctity of marriage" and that he supports a constitutional amendment banning same sex marriages, it makes me want to puke.

Same thing with that asswipe from Tennessee Bill Frist, and that homophobic idiot from Pennsylvania Rick Santorium, all of them screaming about how gay couples should not be allowed to marry.

Maybe they will do better and we can learn something from them?
They can't do any worse, can they?

Good luck my friend and heed some the advice you have been given.
Stay calm and controlled and document EVERYTHING.
One bad move here on your part, and your doomed.

You're an idiot who just wanted to insert some stupid political babble in a topic that doesn't concern your liberal viewpoints. Go off yourself.

As for the cheating thing, definitely get some proof, private eye, do some snooping yourself if you have to. It will help you with your divorce settlements 100 fold!

 

[Carbo]

Originally posted by: wizardbud
Interesting and also a very sad thread...
Lot's of pain and sorrow and suffering.
It's a shame that so many Americans who marry, divorce so readily.
What's the current rate of divorce?
6 out of 10?
7 out of 10?

When I hear our current president (and what a complete joke this bible thumping clown is) saying that he believes in the "sanctity of marriage" and that he supports a constitutional amendment banning same sex marriages, it makes me want to puke.

Same thing with that asswipe from Tennessee Bill Frist, and that homophobic idiot from Pennsylvania Rick Santorium, all of them screaming about how gay couples should not be allowed to marry.

Maybe they will do better and we can learn something from them?
They can't do any worse, can they?

Good luck my friend and heed some the advice you have been given.
Stay calm and controlled and document EVERYTHING.
One bad move here on your part, and your doomed.

This isn't the thread for coming out of the closet. Get back in, please. No one asked about your sexual orientation. Why do most of you gays insist on telling everyone else about your sexual deviations??

 

[spidey07]

saigonK

Sorry to hear about your divorce. I know it is very hard.

About the songs on the radio - try to avoide any pop/pop-rock music as they are almost always about broken hearts/dreams. Try classic rock, folk, classical or jazz. Anything but pop-rock.

<---went thru divorce 3 months ago and still sob when certain songs come on.

 

[wizardbud]

You're an idiot who just wanted to insert some stupid political babble in a topic that doesn't concern your liberal viewpoints. Go off yourself.

This isn't the thread for coming out of the closet. Get back in, please. No one asked about your sexual orientation. Why do most of you gays insist on telling everyone else about your sexual deviations??

Hey, I'm just stating my point of view and I posed a few questions.
Too bad most of what I said happens to be fact.

60% of American marriages end in Divorce.
More single parent households exist today then at any other time in history.
Single women with children are the fastest growing demographic in America today.

Straight white male, right wing idealouges, telling other segments of our society how to run their lives, is like Ryan Leaf telling John Elway how to play quarterback or Halle Berry telling Jeff Gordon how to drive.

It's not fault that your narrow viewpoints can't entertain a honest question...
It's obvious that straight couples aren't getting it done, maybe we can learn something.

Pose a serious question and everyone thinks your either a liberal or your gay.
Maybe THAT'S why we can't along.

I wish this guy well, I really do. I hope things work out for him and his children.
But something has to change and if you can't see that...well hit me with what you got.

 

[CPA]

Originally posted by: wizardbud
Interesting and also a very sad thread...
Lot's of pain and sorrow and suffering.
It's a shame that so many Americans who marry, divorce so readily.
What's the current rate of divorce?
6 out of 10?
7 out of 10?

When I hear our current president (and what a complete joke this bible thumping clown is) saying that he believes in the "sanctity of marriage" and that he supports a constitutional amendment banning same sex marriages, it makes me want to puke.

Same thing with that asswipe from Tennessee Bill Frist, and that homophobic idiot from Pennsylvania Rick Santorium, all of them screaming about how gay couples should not be allowed to marry.

Maybe they will do better and we can learn something from them?
They can't do any worse, can they?

Good luck my friend and heed some the advice you have been given.
Stay calm and controlled and document EVERYTHING.
One bad move here on your part, and your doomed.

I don't throw out insults freely, but this is truly idiotic. Take it to P&N.


Oh, and nice mangling of what Santorum said.

 

[ivol07]

SaigonK

Sorry about everything. Hopes things get better for you.

As a kid from a divorce I can tell you that they will adjust. It is hard, but not that hard. They will eventually understand the situation.

 

[AlienCraft]

wow, just plain old ...wow!
It's too bad you're having such a rough time with this.
Protect yourself and keep the kids the number one priority in your negotiations.

Makes me appreciate being single with cat even more.

 

[silverpig]

Does he still live with his roommate? Call the number, ask for her and then see what she can tell you.

 

[NorthRiver]

Just move out! You are making it harder on yourself by staying. Set up times to be with your kids, and move on.

 

[wizardbud]

OK...

I know when and when not to engage in a rock fight.
Everything is fine with the state of American marriages. No problems there.
Santorum and Frist and Bush are all tolerant people with progressive viewpoints.
Children don't suffer when a marriage ends in divorce.

I guess I just fogot how perfect things are.
Stupid me.

 

[CPA]

Originally posted by: wizardbud
OK...

I know when and when not to engage in a rock fight.
Everything is fine with the state of American marriages. No problems there.
Santorum and Frist and Bush are all tolerant people with progressive viewpoints.
Children don't suffer when a marriage ends in divorce.

I guess I just fogot how perfect things are.
Stupid me.

Noone said that.

You are blaming this societal issue on politicians though, which is stretched logic. And on top of that, you misconstrued what one of the politicians said.

 

[Yax]

I think this thread was really meant to be more about SaigonK's wife wanting or maybe cheating on him with this other guy. I'd say she's cheating. Did you post pics of her in the other thread? I'm too lazy to look so if not, PICS? (of the soon to be X) So we can help you decide if she's worth your heart ache.

 

[Conky]

I recommended a private eye before and I still think may be a useful thing.

If I were you I would also install a keystroke logger(it's your computer) and see exactly what is going on. People never see it coming until it's too late and in this case you might at least be able to save some cash or a bit of sanity.

Good luck.

 

[tyler811]

Originally posted by: HappyPuppy
Be very, very careful. If you so much as raise your voice to her she will go to court for a restraining order claiming you are being abusive. She will lie and she will convince the kids to lie. You will be out of the house and won't even be able to visit your kids.[/q

True very true