Getting a vasectomy

[rcpratt]

Financial aid? School becomes rediculusly cheap when you're married. So does insurance (car), and medical is usually cheaper then too (in addition to just having it).

Yeah, that's what he said initially. Guess he edited it out.

 

[blackdogdeek]

Because it greatly minimizes accidental pregnancies...?

so do condoms. they also help prevent stds. they also don't require surgery to put on or take off. they also don't require hundreds of dollars.

 

[AstroManLuca]

God's gift to men is the FALCON PUNCH!!!

fixed :awe:

But seriously I wouldn't get one. I thought I wanted one a year ago. Then I met an awesome girl and we're getting married and I want to have kids with her.

Of course you have the whole genetic angle but I would consult with a genetic counselor or something before rushing into anything.

 

[OILFIELDTRASH]

I would take it a step further and have your nuts removed. No sperm or sexual desire means no women problems. Problem solved.

 

[classy]

I am dealing with this decision myself right now. But I am 40. At the age of 23 to make a decision at that age is terrible. If you wanna have sex without the getting someone pregnant condoms work. At 23 you don't know enough about life. You sound intelligent with your biotech degree but the life education has not begun for you yet. At least wait until after you are married. Dude you can have all the success in the world, but if at 30 you can't have a child with the woman you love you'll live in regret for the rest of your life. A decision like this at 23, makes folks become alcoholics at 40.
Just wait. Fools rush in, where wisemen fail to go.

 

[AreaCode707]

Husband had it done when he was 19, a joint decision by both of us before we were married or sexually active. Neither of us wants kids, I have rheumatoid arthritis, and we have concrete plans to foster/adopt teenagers later in life. It's been 7 years so far and we haven't wavered one iota on what we want in life.

People have been telling me since I was 12 and first said I didn't want kids that "you'll change your mind when you're older." 14 years and I have not once had a moment where I though, "maybe, just maybe, I want to bear my own kids." Some of us just are wired differently, and there is nothing wrong with that. You do have to accept that most people are so biologically driven to have their own children that they won't understand where you're coming from and will tend to argue with you or look down on you.

For that reason, if people ask you casually whether/when you're going to have children, just say, "we're unable to have children but we're thinking of adopting." You are technically unable and people don't tend to press on what they think is a sensitive subject.

[edit] Oh, and the doctor didn't give us crap at all. Asked a few questions to make sure we totally understood the ramifications (low success rates of reversal, etc.), double checked that we actually knew what we wanted, talked to my husband alone for a few minutes to get an idea whether he was being pressured into it, and then did the operation. Total cost was something like $1,000 out of pocket (he wasn't yet on my insurance.)

 

[Circlenaut]

I've made an appointment with my GI and primary care. It seems from this thread that men are either very happy they had the procedure (and are childless) or have children and couldn't imagine the world without their snowflakes (and so can't fathom getting a vasectomy). Also at the guy suggesting that I'll become an alcoholic because I'll supposidly regret this decision, just WTF? I'm done explaining my rational to you people. I got the information that I needed. I'll update this thread as this progresses.

 

[Ramma2]

I have 2 kids, 7 and 3, and had it done last month. I'm 31.

 

[moshquerade]

Ignore the breeders, this is your life.

You know, that's a damn rude thing to say. I think this guy is intelligent enough, all on his own, to realize it's his life.

 

[moshquerade]

God's gift to men is the staircase. If you knock someone up show them the top of the stairs first, and then tumble them down to solution.

Ban.

I mean really, what are you suggesting here?!?!?! D:

 

[joesmoke]

id only get one if they covered std's too... :awe:

 

[MotionMan]

I always knew I wanted kids, so it was never a consideration for me. That being said, 23 is WAY too young to be making a decision like that.

I have two kids and I think, with the wife and I both in our 40's, we are done. I think it is time for the snip-snip this year.

MotionMan

 

[Circlenaut]

So I selected the best urologist from a list referred by planned parenthood. I saw the doctor last December for a consult and scheduled and appointment for the procedure last week. He explained what the procedure was, complications, effectiveness and made sure only once if I'm certain. It's been a week and the pain/swelling is down. I feel like a big burden has been lifted from my shoulders

My reasons for getting a yesectomy
- Wife doesn't want to take contraceptives anymore because of mood swings
- Wife doesn't want kids, she'd had 2 or 3 abortions.
- I have a strong moral conviction as to why I wouldn't want kids
- I'd adopt, and my wife agrees if we wanted kids in the future
- If my wife were ever to change her mind in the future about children It would be grounds for divorce and I've made her aware of this innumerable times.
- I'd sign any form you need me to in order to minimize your liability
- This is not a rash decision stemming from some kind of fearful pregnancy event. I've long thought about this and I arrived at my present conclusion through moral reasoning. It's firm and part of who I am now.
- I believe it's wrong to have children in today's world due to overpopulation.
- I can't justify morally why my piece of DNA is more important than anyone else's. It's our minds and mark that we leave on this world that matters and transcends our genetics.

 

[Circlenaut]

I made that list in case the doctor gave me hard time during the consult. But really only the last 3 points apply considering everything else are reasons attached to things outside my mind and therefor is conditional and not absolute. Wife and I are splitting as soon as she's done with pharm school this summer. I made a promise to her to help her until she finishes school. I'll see that promise to its end.

 

[Beev]

- I can't justify morally why my piece of DNA is more important than anyone else's. It's our minds and mark that we leave on this world that matters and transcends our genetics.

I love this part. It's exactly right. "Passing on your genetics" IS NOT RELEVANT, at least not anymore.

 

[EagleKeeper]

If you choose to have it done; within 5-10 years and 5-10K you may be able to have it reversed

 

[Dr. Zaus]

I believe it's wrong to have children in today's world due to overpopulation.

You have been lied to. The world is full of open arable land and lots and LOTS of free space to live in. The world isn't even close to over-populated; if anything we are going to suffer from a lack of population growth.

Pure hippy self-hate ignorance is what this is.


Otherwise: Glad it went well for you, your concerns about "grounds for divorce" are highly disturbing to me.

 

[slightlyhuman]

you don't know anything, you're 23.

 

[ichy]

I love this part. It's exactly right. "Passing on your genetics" IS NOT RELEVANT, at least not anymore.

The funny thing is that I've never wanted kinds, but I feel a little guilty about not passing my genes on because I come from what I'd consider good breeding stock. No real history of heart disease or cancer in my family, no substance abuse among my immediate relatives, no real dumb asses. With the current dysgenic trend I feel a bit bad not spreading my genes as widely as possible.

 

[ichy]

Otherwise: Glad it went well for you, your concerns about "grounds for divorce" are highly disturbing to me.

What could be a better reason for divorce than a disagreement about something as fundamental as having kids?

 

[Beev]

Otherwise: Glad it went well for you, your concerns about "grounds for divorce" are highly disturbing to me.

Why? He does. not. want. kids. ever. And his wife doesn't either. "I changed my mind" isn't a good enough reason to decide you want kids. I'd leave whoever I was with, too.

 

[EagleKeeper]

What could be a better reason for divorce than a disagreement about something as fundamental as having kids?

This should have been understood/hashed ouit well before getting married

 

[ichy]

FYI for those in committed relationships who are considering something like this, another method of contraception that's surprisingly rare in the US is the IUD. They're extremely reliable (like an order of magnitude lower failure rate than the pill) don't have hormone side effects like the pill does and contrary to myth they don't cause horrible infections.

 

[Circlenaut]

This thread is 2 years old, I'm 25 now. And I haven't been "lied" to. I believe there are too many people on this earth for various reasons. Why would I bring a child into this earth if I can love an adopted one just as much. On another note, children are bloody expensive not only in terms of money but especially time. I view not having children as the best financial decision I could make in life.

The grounds for divorce just means that if I happen to be in a long term relationship in the future I'll make it very clear to her that I do not want kids and that if she does it would be better for her to find someone else. And if she changes her mind later I'll say that I made it clear what my intentions were. That I won't suffer through a reversal for her lack of decisiveness no matter how much it pains me to leave her or regret I may have. I've made my decision.

 

[Circlenaut]

Also I'm not the same person I was two years ago. I've read a lot of books on different philosophies since graduating. The ones that made the most difference were Durant's history of philosophy, Rand's Atlas shrugged, various books written by the Dali lama, zen mind beginners mind and Marcus Aurelius' meditations. After reading these books I took steps to improve my mind and body by meditation everyday for 1 year now and exersizing and finding a cure for my Crohns. Never again will I be attached to other's minds, never again will I feel entitled to compassion of others.