Get off my lawn! Stupid jerkwad neighbor

[highland145]

they made your house a historic landmark and you had no say so in the matter? something does not add up.

thats like HOA coming in years after you buy telling you what you can do or cant do.

Not just my house. The area, 10 or 15 square blocks or more. My city sprung up around the old winter colony from the late 1800s.

 

[highland145]

That's a Louie Vuitton handbag?D:

 

[SearchMaster]

I have one...

I live on a large lake, but the cove I live in is narrow and shallow (in the winter, when the Army Corps of Engineers (ACE) lets out ~10 feet of water). Our dock has a longish fixed pier onto which the floating dock is attached. Fixed piers are not normally allowed by ACE, but ours had been exempted by the original owners because the dock would be unusable otherwise (the water closer to shore is just too shallow). By regulation, docks must be >50 feet from each other and ours is 40 feet, but again it was allowed by the regulating authority (ACE). The 40 foot spacing does not impede anyone's progress; there are no docks after the one that is 40 foot catty-corner to ours.

One year we had the fixed pier repaired as it had been damaged in a storm. About two years after that, a ranger from the ACE came by while my wife and I were at work. My neighbor spoke to the ranger, who explained that the owner of the catty-cornered dock had called to complain about how close our dock was. "We usually prefer that neighbors work these things out themselves, but he has called us every single week for two years to complain about it." She took some measurements, left, and we never heard from them again.

I went to speak to the guy. I knocked on the door and when he answered, stuck out my hand to shake his and introduced myself. He said, "I know who you are" and refused to shake hands. I was very calm and cordial in asking what the issue was and how it could be resolved, but he started cussing about how close our dock was and he was going to have it completely removed and our dock permit revoked. Keep in mind that I had spoken to him several times over the years when we were both at our docks, and while we had never formally introduced ourselves the conversations were always pleasant and cordial.

I talked to my other neighbor (the one who had spoken to the ranger), who is a 70+ year old lady and is the salt of the earth. She said she had a run-in with the guy a few years before that. While in her yard, she thought she heard someone screaming from the lake area. She thought it might be a cat wailing or something, it was indistinct and her hearing is poor, but she went down and said, "hello? hello? hello?" several times from our dock before going back home. Later that day, the guy bangs on her door and barges into her house, red-faced and screaming at her. "You fucking wise and beautiful woman! My wife fell and broke her hip and you left her abandoned in the driveway when she called for help!" He then left, but she's convinced that he would have hit her if she hadn't been holding my infant son at the time.

Thank God that guy moved at the end of the summer.

 

[Eug]

Heritage designation is the kiss of death for a private home IMO.

Some homeowners think it's cool, but I think it's horrible.

 

[Jodell88]

That's a Louie Vuitton handbag?D:

Looks like Prada to me.

 

[blackdogdeek]

My asshole neighbor likes to take his 5 piece of shit cars and park them on the street even though he has a giant driveway that he can use to park all his cars.

This here, this is golden.

 

[Red Squirrel]

Definitely sounds like a bad neighbour, good job. Just because it's an easement does not mean he can put snow there, it's still your yard.

We had an election candidate who was putting signs up in people's yards claiming the same thing. He got owned pretty good on Facebook for it, and needless to say, he did not win. 😛 That easement rule does not mean it's public property but lot of people seem to think that.

 

[Nograts]

OP is a lawyer probably making retarded amounts of money. His neighbor uses an escalade for a snow plow. Did anyone else get severely depressed reading this?

 

[Brainonska511]

I never really had to deal with an a-hole neighbor quite like the OP, but last night, my neighbor, who is responsible for snow clearing at my apartment, had the brilliant idea of scraping ice from the stoop at 2:30 AM, instead of doing it earlier during the warm day when it was softer and wouldn't have disturbed people sleeping.

 

[zinfamous]

the thing that gets me is that dipshits oldest son graduated from West Point last May. good kid but a crazy ass dad.

huh? Just because he graduated from West Point? Maybe now he is just a bigger dipshit than his dead, with military training.

(yeah, I know--officer training. But it's a stupid assumption)

 

[eelw]

It took you several years to figure out this was illegal? While yes your neighbour is an asshole. But you're a doofus for not doing something about this a long time ago.

 

[zinfamous]

My asshole neighbor likes to take his 5 piece of shit cars and park them on the street even though he has a giant driveway that he can use to park all his cars.

I can make a positive spin on this:

It reduces the amount of jerks and cholos and homies (can we say that here?) that would otherwise be parking in your neighborhood and possibly causing some shit.

 

[mizzou]

rich people make the shittiest neighbors sometimes

 

[chimaxi83]

I can make a positive spin on this:

It reduces the amount of jerks and cholos and homies (can we say that here?) that would otherwise be parking in your neighborhood and possibly causing some shit.

Do jerks, cholos, and homies make you quiver in your little panties? How the hell do you relate street parking to that?

 

[SparkyJJO]

Yeah... there's a reason why I live in the country away from people. No stupid city regulations over dumb stuff, no neighbors on top of me to dump crap into my yard, I can do what I want, when I want, where I want on my property and not need a single permit for any upgrades, renovations, or redecorating.

 

[zinfamous]

Do jerks, cholos, and homies make you quiver in your little panties? How the hell do you relate street parking to that?

I dunno. They all have giant, concrete-filled asses like Serena Williams, and it bothers me?
:\

 

[Newbian]

they made your house a historic landmark and you had no say so in the matter? something does not add up.

thats like HOA coming in years after you buy telling you what you can do or cant do.

It's like when a town passes a "beautification law" or such and it can screw people over big time to the point where it can be as bad as a hoa.

 

[JumBie]

Nothing boils my blood more than neighbor issues.

 

[CPA]

OP is a lawyer probably making retarded amounts of money. His neighbor uses an escalade for a snow plow. Did anyone else get severely depressed reading this?

No, because I'm not envious of other people's money or things.

 

[CraKaJaX]

does your neighbor happen to clean oil slicks in his driveway?

 

[Blanky]

Anyway, this culminated yesterday in a screaming match between Doofus and I. While screaming at him felt just darn good, I decided to do what I should have done in the first place, namely to take the issue up with the town. Turns out that there is an ordinance against pushing snow across a public way in my town. And there is also a criminal trespass law that fits the scenario nicely. Just informed Doofus of those facts in writing a few minutes ago. The look on his face was priceless. Being a lawyer and having access to nice legal letterhead has its perks.

Anyone else have to deal with an a-hole neighbor? If so how did your situation turn out?

If you are a lawyer you already should have known all this.

Only issue I've ever had is with a neighbor who's dog was completely unleashed and let run around like a wild animal. After requesting that they stop this nicely and them simply not caring (they are trash), I called the town, got them fined, and that pissed them off hugely, but I can tell you that dog is a model neighbor now. It's never off its property and spends most of its life just in their house barking with the windows closed.

Every couple of years somebody who walks their dogs gets into the habit of letting it shit on my yard and I deal with that by putting a sarcastic sign up for a couple of days just so that they and the other neighbors can read it and that always solves the issue as well. I have to assume none of these people know I have cameras, so I know who's doing it, but I never have to call them out by name. I let them think I have no idea, but the sign does its work.

 

[boomerang]

The neighbor on the one side of me and I both built our houses at the same time. We're each on 2 1/2 acres but his property is long and skinny and that makes our houses relatively close together. Maybe, 30 or 40 yards between us and a ton of trees. He was a great guy with great kids, all was good.

He sold the place and those owners weren't geared towards country living and rented the place out to the problem neighbor.

He rehabbed houses and rather than take what he pulled out to the dump, he decided to burn it all in the backyard. We're not just talking wood, we're talking rolls of carpet, laminate counter tops, PVC pipe and all kinds of stuff that produces thick, black, nasty smoke. Niiice.

I had a day job. He would burn in the daytime when I was at work and there would be nothing but a smoldering pile when I got home. The FD stated that he had not requested a burn permit but that they couldn't do anything about him unless he was actively burning. He was there about two years before he moved out when the home was sold. The current owners are a story for later.

 

[NoCreativity]

My neighbor lets his dogs out without a leash. Things like to crap in my yard (luckily only small dogs). He's apologized about it and cleans up when he sees it happen but keeps letting them run free and I usually have to clean up a couple piles before I cut grass every week. I honestly think he cares but I'm pretty sure it's his wife who doesn't.

I have been nice about it so far but I guess I'll have to be a bit more blunt if it keeps happening come spring.

 

[Puppies04]

At my old house we had a young couple move in 2 or 3 doors down, seemed nice enough never really spoke to them or anything.

Anyway one sunday morning about 7am all kinds of shit starts kicking off, the dude is yelling and cussing at the girl both inside the house (I can hear this through his front door as I have the bedroom window ajar to cool the room down) and then opening his front door still yelling at the top of his voice and slamming the door as hard as he can. Goes to car and throws some stuff in there, back into house and slams door again all the time screaming his head off. This happened 8 or 9 times and my wife was really starting too get pissed off, I told her to leave it as he must have almost filled up his shitty mini and he would be gone soon.

The wife says she is going to go say something at which point I put my foot down and told her top stay out of it, fine she says as i'm now awake i'm going to make tea...

About a minute later I hear the door slamming again and the wife says something like "thats it" and I hear her go into the front room. I'm out of bed in a flash looking for some jeans to throw on. The wife sticks her head out the door and yells down the street "shut up, do you realise its 7am on a sunday" he retorts back rather wittily "and you can shut up as well you stupid bitch".........

So being the rational human being I am I go marching down the empty street about 10 seconds later and just as I get to his front door he comes out (slams it again) and turns for his car not seeing me there. I follow him to his car he notices I'm there turns round and promptly is hanging by his neck up against a lamp post with his feet about a foot from the ground. Now I will mention he was about 19-20 years old and weighed no more than 120lbs. I growl through gritted teeth, "call my wife a bitch again and me and you are going to really fall out" then let him fall into a crumpled heap on the floor.

I walk back to my house and just before I get to the front door I get a standing ovation from 3 of the neighbours across the street (all women). Later I was told by one of the women this guy was a proper abusive prick and argueing in the street was a regular occurance in the day while I am work.

I go back in the house and my wife confronts me with "well that was a bit uncalled for!!!!!". She wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the day because I "overreacted". I tried to explain that if a man calls your wife a bitch you kinda have to do something about it but she was having none of it.

Did I overreact AT:OT? Wwatotd?

 

[Bob the Coder]

Never really had to deal with asshole neighbors, other than one house that practically ran an orphanage. Owners were hardly ever home while 10 kids ages 5 - 18 came and went at all hours, partied in the street, you name it. That was about 10 years ago and we moved within a year of that starting up.

We've had a psycho neighbor or two who loved to stir shit up, but it was easy to avoid by just not engaging them.

In our current home, there really aren't any issues. One guy walks his dog off leash - the dog goes ripping through everyone's bushes and flowerbeds right up by the house while he strolls along the sidewalk. Sometimes the dog would shit right on your walkway. I work from home with the den facing the street, so I can see him coming. I got into the habit of letting my dog out right before he got to our house, also off leash (but my dog diligently stays in my yard). So between the daily timing of me letting my dog out, the fact that the two dogs would get tangled up in my yard, and my general stink eye, he stopped.