Gender identity change...

[randalee]

Wow, I just found out today that a good friend of mine, who I've known and worked with for the last 8 years, has decided to switch sides. No, not just be gay, but have the surgery and everything.

It's weird, because he's always been such an outdoorsy-guy, "throw me a beer"-type guy. I guess he is now taking hormones, and preparing for the surgery. He's starting to get "buds" for breasts, and is now wearing feminine low-cut shirts. He's going to go all the way, castration and re-forming of his genitals.

It's funny because he's completely bald on top, but is growing his hair long, so he has long hair (like a mullet) but nothing on top. He's going to be getting an expensive wig. I just saw him a couple of weeks ago and visited a bit, but had no idea about the change. I noticed he had longer hair, but thought nothing of it at the time.

I'm floored. Anyone else have a friend/co-worker do this? I guess he's thought about this for years -- he's in his late 30's and just recently became divorced from his wife of 15 or so years. It's so strange, but at the same time, I want him to be happy with his life. I suppose if this is what he thinks will make him happy, I'll be supporting him all the way. I guess the hardest thing for me will be calling him by a different, woman's name.

 

[robothouse77]

I knew this girl who switched to a guy (i only knew this person for like 3 months), but it was nearly impossible to adjust to refer to her as him.

yeah, it's not the norm, but he's still just a person. it's hard to adjust, but you just have to be accepting

 

[Xyo II]

Wow. At least you might be able to get a date now.

jk

 

[Bryophyte]

She'll appreciate having a friend who supports her completely. Take the first step and mentally switch from thinking 'him' to 'her'.

 

[dawnbug]

Originally posted by: Bryophyte
She'll appreciate having a friend who supports her completely. Take the first step and mentally switch from thinking 'him' to 'her'.

I concur with this idea.

I just read the only young adult literature in the market about a person dealing with gender identity disorder, called Luna. It was amazing. The main character was a person who was born physically as a boy (Liam), but from the start knew that she was a girl on the inside. She changed her name to Luna, but for most of the book, everyone but her sister only knew her as Liam. I'd never thought so much about gender identity before. I really recommend reading this book.

Best wishes to your friend as she completes her transformation! And I commend you for being open minded and supportive-- I'm sure she'll appreciate all the support she can get.

 

[MrsBugi]

Originally posted by: Bryophyte
She'll appreciate having a friend who supports her completely. Take the first step and mentally switch from thinking 'him' to 'her'.

:thumbsup:

It sounds like you're surprised by the decision randalee, but ultimately going to be understanding and supportive. Kudos to you for being such a good person and such a good friend. :wine:

 

[waggy]

I do have to say supporting him is great. he/she really needs a real friend. my guess though it si going to be hard to do though.

 

[iamaelephant]

Originally posted by: robothouse77
I knew this girl who switched to a guy (i only knew this person for like 3 months), but it was nearly impossible to adjust to refer to her as him.

yeah, it's not the norm, but he's still just a person. it's hard to adjust, but you just have to be accepting

No, you don't have to be accepting, that's a load of crap. If one of my friends decided to do this I would never speak to them again.

 

[waggy]

Originally posted by: iamaelephant

Originally posted by: robothouse77
I knew this girl who switched to a guy (i only knew this person for like 3 months), but it was nearly impossible to adjust to refer to her as him.

yeah, it's not the norm, but he's still just a person. it's hard to adjust, but you just have to be accepting

No, you don't have to be accepting, that's a load of crap. If one of my friends decided to do this I would never speak to them again.

wow. glad you are not a friend of mine. cause truth is you are not a good friend.

 

[JLGatsby]

I support gay people in most all issues, but I still think people who want to change gender need to seek mental help.

I mean, if you dress up, that's one thing, but surgery and the whole nine yards? You seriously must have problems if you're willing to go that far.

 

[Beau]

Originally posted by: iamaelephant

Originally posted by: robothouse77
I knew this girl who switched to a guy (i only knew this person for like 3 months), but it was nearly impossible to adjust to refer to her as him.

yeah, it's not the norm, but he's still just a person. it's hard to adjust, but you just have to be accepting

No, you don't have to be accepting, that's a load of crap. If one of my friends decided to do this I would never speak to them again.

True. You don't _have_ to accept it. But a good, true friend would. If you really took this stance, then I guess s/he would be better off with out you.

Nothing like a life-changing event to filter out your real friends from your selfish friends.

 

[dawnbug]

Originally posted by: iamaelephant

Originally posted by: robothouse77
I knew this girl who switched to a guy (i only knew this person for like 3 months), but it was nearly impossible to adjust to refer to her as him.

yeah, it's not the norm, but he's still just a person. it's hard to adjust, but you just have to be accepting

No, you don't have to be accepting, that's a load of crap. If one of my friends decided to do this I would never speak to them again.

You'd rather they be miserable for the rest of their lives pretending to be someone they aren't? You sound like a great friend.

 

[JLGatsby]

Originally posted by: LadyBuggy
You'd rather they be miserable for the rest of their lives pretending to be someone they aren't? You sound like a great friend.

Uhhh, pretending to be someone they're not, you mean like a man dressing up like a woman?

 

[dawnbug]

Originally posted by: JLGatsby
I support gay people in most all issues, but I still think people who want to change gender need to seek mental help.

I mean, if you dress up, that's one thing, but surgery and the whole nine yards? You seriously must have problems if you're willing to go that far.

People with gender identity disorder aren't gay. They feel like a man (or a woman) trapped in a woman's (or man's) body. It'd be like you waking up tomorrow with breasts-- would that make you a woman? Physically, sure, but if you know in your head and your heart that you're a man and you identify yourself as a man and are attracted to women still... you'd still be a man, just in a woman's body. It's a tricky line-- what makes a person a man or a woman? In this case, it comes down to what they identify themselves as. And this isn't just something they do on a whim or for attention-- this is who they really are on the inside.

 

[MercenaryForHire]

So, are you going to hit it once the operation is done?

- M4H

 

[FiddleDD]

they always say its a "friend"...

 

[JLGatsby]

Originally posted by: LadyBuggy
People with gender identity disorder aren't gay.

I know. It's an issue that's typically "lumped" into the "gay community." I mentioned that I supported gay people so to not make anyone believe I was some sort of old fashioned bigot or something.

What makes you a man or woman? Look in your pants. That's why you are, like it or not. I just suspect that there are some major psychological "issues" with people who want to change gender. What I'm saying is that the solution is not to "cut off your thing" but to rather "seek help." But this is America, if you WANT to do that, you should have every right. It's just my opinion that those people should seek help.

 

[Ktulu]

Originally posted by: randalee
It's funny because he's completely bald on top

This image immediately popped into my head

 

[Platypus]

Originally posted by: Beau

Originally posted by: iamaelephant

Originally posted by: robothouse77
I knew this girl who switched to a guy (i only knew this person for like 3 months), but it was nearly impossible to adjust to refer to her as him.

yeah, it's not the norm, but he's still just a person. it's hard to adjust, but you just have to be accepting

No, you don't have to be accepting, that's a load of crap. If one of my friends decided to do this I would never speak to them again.

Nothing like a life-changing event to filter out your real friends from your selfish friends.

yep.

 

[jpeyton]

Originally posted by: FiddleDD
they always say its a "friend"...

Can the Mods help out with this? "Mandy" Clements needs a new username.

 

[iamaelephant]

Originally posted by: LadyBuggy

Originally posted by: iamaelephant

Originally posted by: robothouse77
I knew this girl who switched to a guy (i only knew this person for like 3 months), but it was nearly impossible to adjust to refer to her as him.

yeah, it's not the norm, but he's still just a person. it's hard to adjust, but you just have to be accepting

No, you don't have to be accepting, that's a load of crap. If one of my friends decided to do this I would never speak to them again.

You'd rather they be miserable for the rest of their lives pretending to be someone they aren't? You sound like a great friend.

Jeez I hate this "something they're not" argument, it's bullshvt. They are a fvcking man, changing themselves into a half man half woman FREAK is what is turning them into something they're not. I find it deplorable and morally outrageous.

 

[Kadarin]

Originally posted by: JLGatsby
I support gay people in most all issues, but I still think people who want to change gender need to seek mental help.

I mean, if you dress up, that's one thing, but surgery and the whole nine yards? You seriously must have problems if you're willing to go that far.

Aren't you the guy who started a thread about being totally turned on by an androgynous male American Idol contestant?

 

[91TTZ]

Originally posted by: Bryophyte
She'll appreciate having a friend who supports her completely. Take the first step and mentally switch from thinking 'him' to 'her'.

Stop it with the lame, liberal, pansy-PC crap.

This is a dude who mutilated himself. End of story.

 

[Kadarin]

Originally posted by: iamaelephant

Originally posted by: robothouse77
I knew this girl who switched to a guy (i only knew this person for like 3 months), but it was nearly impossible to adjust to refer to her as him.

yeah, it's not the norm, but he's still just a person. it's hard to adjust, but you just have to be accepting

No, you don't have to be accepting, that's a load of crap. If one of my friends decided to do this I would never speak to them again.

You are not a good friend to have, then.

 

[JLGatsby]

Originally posted by: Astaroth33
Aren't you the guy who started a thread about being totally turned on by an androgynous male American Idol contestant?

That's different, he was cute. It's ok to "dress up" a little transgendered, but what I'm saying is to go "cut it off" is a just going too far.