Gaze in awe of my benevolence

Exterous

Super Moderator
Jun 20, 2006
20,368
3,444
126
Not too long ago a sharp cry of alarm was raised by my wife*. When I went to investigate it turns out the culprit was an unwanted house guest. Unlike the previous intruder this one was minding its own business and just chilling on the entryway floor. So I scooped him up on some paper and ushered him outside.

Even when he turned surly and swung back through the doorway and tried to latch his claws onto my shin I shooed the spider back outside a second time. He better kill some mosquitoes or I may not be so kind next time

*no pics will be provided
 

GagHalfrunt

Lifer
Apr 19, 2001
25,297
2,000
126
Perhaps that spider becomes irradiated, bites some geek and turns him into an unstoppable supervillain that destroys life as we know it. So a giant FUCK YOU in advance because by the time we know for sure it may be too late.
 

lxskllr

No Lifer
Nov 30, 2004
57,413
7,593
126
You're just trying to ingratiate yourself with the vengeful hoard seeking justice for their brother's death. It may work. Keep it up, and they'll kill you quick instead of making it last.
 

Darwin333

Lifer
Dec 11, 2006
19,946
2,328
126
Just another scout, now they know that you are becoming timider so the large-scale attack will be coming soon.

- Spider #1 scurries back to his companions "he thinks that he defeated me with a piece of paper!"
- Spiders #2-#12.5 million "bwahahahahahahahahaha"
- Spider #1 "Yes my friends, he is exactly where we want him"
 

DietDrThunder

Platinum Member
Apr 6, 2001
2,262
326
126
I tried doing that with a large wolf spider. The darn thing got pissed and came after me and could jump a good 2 feet. I ended up killing it with a broom
Wolf_spider
 

dullard

Elite Member
May 21, 2001
25,055
3,408
126
Well wasn't going to be allowed to stay so his chances of survival are infinitely higher outside when compared to my thumb and a toilet flush
I'm trying to picture this spider removal that requires both a thumb and a toilet flush. I personally would wash off the spider guts from my thumb with a sink. But to each his* own I guess.

*no handshaking will be provided if I ever meet you
 

Exterous

Super Moderator
Jun 20, 2006
20,368
3,444
126
I'm trying to picture this spider removal that requires both a thumb and a toilet flush. I personally would wash off the spider guts from my thumb with a sink. But to each his* own I guess.

*no handshaking will be provided if I ever meet you

Its a contractual requirement my wife snuck into the wedding agreement
 

OutHouse

Lifer
Jun 5, 2000
36,413
616
126
Not too long ago a sharp cry of alarm was raised by my wife*. When I went to investigate it turns out the culprit was an unwanted house guest. Unlike the previous intruder this one was minding its own business and just chilling on the entryway floor. So I scooped him up on some paper and ushered him outside.

Even when he turned surly and swung back through the doorway and tried to latch his claws onto my shin I shooed the spider back outside a second time. He better kill some mosquitoes or I may not be so kind next time

*no pics will be provided

So brave.
 

Skyclad1uhm1

Lifer
Aug 10, 2001
11,383
87
91
Well wasn't going to be allowed to stay so his chances of survival are infinitely higher outside when compared to my thumb and a toilet flush

There's a small spider in a corner of my house that's allowed to stay. Any flies or silverfish that make their way into my house end up in its web, which saves me from having to go to the door each time.
It's now several years old if I'm not mistaken, which is very old for such spiders. It's webs arent as good as they used to be, but that doesn't matter if I toss in the vermin correctly.