i'm in sort of the same situation. my daughter's are 1 and 3 now, but i still bother them and my wife with my speakers when i'm gaming. i'm like 98% sold on the turtle beach earforce headphones, they have multiple speakers to simulate 5.1. i've read good reviews and a few bad ones, but the good outweigh the bad and i know a guy who has a set and loves them (well he did when i last spoke with him). i have a nice set of cans now, but for gaming they just aren't good. you can't really tell where sounds are coming from. i do a lot of fps gaming so i'd like something a little more spacial.
edit:
for speakers i have a set of
these. they are more than capable of producing music at much louder levels than i thought. i had some klipsch 2.1s and if i come across some extra money i might very well buy another set, but honestly these work great for me. i'm not 18 anymore, i can't blast music in the house. even the bass sounds good for what would seem like a low end set of speakers.