yllus
Elite Member & Lifer
- Aug 20, 2000
- 20,577
- 432
- 126
*agrees*
The guy needed a clue about self-respect after that silent treatment. It is much, much better he learn it in a way analogous to ripping off a Bandaid when the other option is cruelly slow torture and hoping against hope. Obviously not the ideal solution but best under the given conditions.
- Jan 20, 2001
- 2,797
- 1
- 91
As I stated in my second post, I did not lead this guy on. From the beginning (April 13) I made it clear I was not interested romantically. He still IM'ed me after that talk and I did not mind occasionally chatting with him. Our last friendly chat was on May 4 when we talked about X2. After that, I just felt like he was too boring to be even friends with. (Some background, he's not very intelligent or witty. He's kinda negative about things, like he complained often about the job he quit which is at the company I currently work at and where I really enjoy working.) So like weezer pointed out, I told him for a good 3 weeks that I was busy whenever he IM'ed me. Then tonight I decided to sever it for good. Then I second-guessed myself right after I did it and made this post. I usually like to be blunt and direct like this in general. Like I said before, I'm all about direct communication whether it's good or bad. Hmmmm
uhh. yeah direct communication. aka bluntness.
Well there's some use to it if the guy is monumentally stupid (iq somewhere below 70), but in most cases everyone feels better if these situations are handled with a touch of social sophistication. With a little effort, most people can convey things with benign subtexts or in the worst case with buffered rejections.
Well there's some use to it if the guy is monumentally stupid (iq somewhere below 70), but in most cases everyone feels better if these situations are handled with a touch of social sophistication. With a little effort, most people can convey things with benign subtexts or in the worst case with buffered rejections.
- Jan 20, 2001
- 2,797
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*hugs pyonir*
Actually it was only tonight that I figured out that I find him to be too boring to be friends with. Before that, I really was busy on those occasions that he tried to IM me. Tonight I learned that if I found him to be interesting as a person, I would have probably made time to IM him even if I was busy, but because I didn't it shows that I consider him boring. (yes I realize I really think too much about these things
)
- Jan 20, 2001
- 2,797
- 1
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*hugs kat*
I prefer not to ignore ppl that way. I guess if someone else didn't want to talk to me, I'd rather be told bluntly than ignored without explanation. The lack of explanation or closure would hurt me more than the direct rejection. And I try to live pretty strictly to the "golden rule" so...
Nocturnal
Lifer
- Jan 8, 2002
- 18,927
- 0
- 76
Originally posted by: klee58
I have this ex-coworker named Lou (I don't care about stating his name since I know he doesn't come here). He was in the same position/title as me but he quit my company when he got another job on April 11. We weren't close at work at all. We just took a couple breaks together and talked during them but I do that with almost all my coworkers, whereas Lou wasn't that friendly with many of his coworkers. That's just how he is.
Anyway, the day he quit we exchanged email addies and AIM ID's. Since then he'll initiate chat with me whenever he sees me online, which was fine. The last real chat we had was on May 4 when we talked about X2. For whatever reason, I just found him to be boring and didn't want to chat with him anymore. These are the chats that ensued since May 4 (thank you Trillian logs):What do you think? Was I too harsh given the situation?
- Session Start: Sun May 11 18:38:48 2003
Lou: hi
Session Close (Lou): Sun May 11 20:58:29 2003
Session Start: Tue May 13 20:55:57 2003
Lou: hi
Session Close (Lou): Tue May 13 20:59:41 2003
Session Start: Tue May 13 21:23:30 2003
Lou: hello?
klee58: i'm busy
Session Close (Lou): Tue May 13 21:31:12 2003
Session Start: Sat May 17 11:06:27 2003
Lou: hey
*** Lou signed off at Sat May 17 11:29:14 2003.
*** Lou signed on at Sat May 17 11:29:15 2003.
Session Start: Sun May 18 21:17:51 2003
Lou: hey
klee58: can't talk now
Lou: k
Session Close (Lou): Sun May 18 21:21:10 2003
Session Start: Wed May 28 21:27:39 2003
Lou: hey
klee58: ack hi
klee58: i can't really talk now
Lou: k
Session Close (Lou): Wed May 28 21:28:29 2003
Session Start: Thu May 29 20:35:14 2003
Lou: hey
klee58: hi
Lou: how r u
klee58: i'm ok
Lou: how is work
klee58: i'm not interested in talking to you in case you haven't figured it out... :-/
Lou: ok then bye
Lou: nice knowing u
klee58: *wave*
klee58: likewise
ROFL all this time I thought you were a guy. I was like WTF leading him on?
Eh ...... not that harsh. It needed to be done
on a sided note you could have told him you were a lesbian
Cheers,
Aquaman
on a sided note you could have told him you were a lesbian
Cheers,
Aquaman
harsh and bitchy, but you girls (most of you) are bitches so you think its normal...
what's even more harsh is how girls are to each other for NO reason.. 'look at that ugly bitch with her <insert snide remark about how she looks or what shes wearing>..
or how you are to guys who are just trying to be friendly.
if you wanted to be nice you would of just said you're not interested, not making him feel stupid for 'not getting the hint'. it's not like he was being an asshole or a perv or an annoying 'cmon go out with me' guy.
edit; i like you guys defending her just because she's an atot chick
what's even more harsh is how girls are to each other for NO reason.. 'look at that ugly bitch with her <insert snide remark about how she looks or what shes wearing>..
or how you are to guys who are just trying to be friendly.
if you wanted to be nice you would of just said you're not interested, not making him feel stupid for 'not getting the hint'. it's not like he was being an asshole or a perv or an annoying 'cmon go out with me' guy.
edit; i like you guys defending her just because she's an atot chick
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