G/F of 4 years cheats on B/F with best friends...what to do, what to do?

[abracadabra1]

A good friend of mine (Mike for simplicity) has been with his g/f for over 4 years now. Mike ended up going to a military academy while Jane (named so for simplicity, as well) went to a big party school. They are both sophomores (at their respective institutions) and Jane just flew up to Mike and told him that 1 year ago to the month, she cheated on Mike with 2 of his best friends (no you fantasizing freaks...not simultaneously). With best friend A she kissed and fondled (4 instances) and with best friend B she kissed and fondled (1 instance). No other happenstances have occurred since.

So the question is does he keep her, or should he let her go? They love each other (just like everyone else).

Please post if you have experience with this kind of situation. Did you keep/ditch him/her...what was the outcome? What would you do today?

 

[AreaCode707]

you forgot the YAGT. And you're in the wrong forum.

 

[cheapgoose]

no no no, in love != cheat

you don't love someone and cheat. that is the stupid!

 

[Corporate Thug]

mike should fvck janes best friends then break with her

 

[abracadabra1]

Originally posted by: HotChic
you forgot the YAGT. And you're in the wrong forum.

thanks for the heads up...dunno what i'd do w/o you

 

[Eli]

As if what we say here matters.. but, I think they should stay together if they really like eachother and are willing to deal with it.

Maybe Jane just needed to learn her lesson.

Besides.. they didn't do the nasty. It should be pretty forgivable.

 

[spanky]

if they r gonna be apart, it's just gonna happen again.

 

[MovingTarget]

Originally posted by: cheapgoose
no no no, in love != cheat

you don't love someone and cheat. that is the stupid!

That makes a whole lot of sense...really. I dont see how you can cheat on someone and love them at the same time. It just isnt possible.

 

[Orsorum]

Normally, I would say something to encourage them to stay together, but two things compel me to say differently:

First, cheating on him with not one, but two of his close friends.

Second, multiple occasions. Once with a person, perhaps one or two occasions total, but 4 occasions is not an accident nor does it really show remorse, it shows intent and an ability and willingness to betray trust and deceive.

I would break up.

 

[abracadabra1]

Originally posted by: Eli
As if what we say here matters.. but, I think they should stay together if they really like eachother and are willing to deal with it.

Maybe Jane just needed to learn her lesson.

Besides.. they didn't do the nasty. It should be pretty forgivable.

What you say does, in fact, matter...I'm really looking for advice from people that have had this happen to them.

 

[DannyBoy]

My girlfriend kissed another guy infront of me, I lost my mind for about a week, but it turned out i was more unhappy without her than i was with her having to deal with it.

She was "drunk" which is why she did it

yeah

whatever

I forgave her, on the one condition if she ever did it to me again I would kill the bastard she did anything with, then plan sleeping with someone else strategically so that she walked in on me, to see how it would feel.

I know shes never slept with anyone else, and it was only a kiss with this guy, but it still hurts like hell especially when you see it.

I think he should forgive her with a grudge, he will be more unhappy not having her (If he loves her enough that is).

 

[kt]

Stay away from this matter. You do not want to get involved.

 

[boyRacer]

Dump her.

 

[DannyBoy]

Originally posted by: Orsorum
Normally, I would say something to encourage them to stay together, but two things compel me to say differently:

First, cheating on him with not one, but two of his close friends.

Second, multiple occasions. Once with a person, perhaps one or two occasions total, but 4 occasions is not an accident nor does it really show remorse, it shows intent and an ability and willingness to betray trust and deceive.

I would break up.

I overlooked that, on the basis of it happening 4 times with one guy, and another with another, that IS the basis for intent and I would seriously rethink the relationship if i were him.

 

[DannyBoy]

Originally posted by: kt
Stay away from this matter. You do not want to get involved.

This is perhaps the best advice you can follow yourself as well ^^ :beer:

 

[cheapgoose]

I'm in here again?

let it go! cheaters will be cheaters.

 

[Kadarin]

He should dump her. Period, no questions.