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Funny Joke of the Day

eits

eits

Lifer
An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up...

The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the 86-year-old said, "Things are great and I've never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. So what do you think about that Doc?"

The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began to tell a story.

"I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season. One day he was setting off to go hunting. In a bit of a hurry , he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. As he neared a lake, he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water's edge. He realized he'd left his gun at home and so he couldn't shoot the magnificent creature. Out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if it were his favorite hunting rifle and went 'bang, bang'. Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. Now, what do you think of that?" asked the doctor. The 86-year-old said, "Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver." The doctor replied , "My point exactly."
 
too long, is there a dr. sbaitso version that can read it to me while I sleepy eye browse forum posts?
 
eits said:
An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up...

The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the 86-year-old said, "Things are great and I've never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. So what do you think about that Doc?"

The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began to tell a story.

"I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season. One day he was setting off to go hunting. In a bit of a hurry , he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. As he neared a lake, he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water's edge. He realized he'd left his gun at home and so he couldn't shoot the magnificent creature. Out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if it were his favorite hunting rifle and went 'bang, bang'. Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. Now, what do you think of that?" asked the doctor. The 86-year-old said, "Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver." The doctor replied , "My point exactly."
Click to expand...

bad joke is bad
 
Joker-Clapping.gif
 
One day this old man entered the urgent care. He walked up to the receptionist who promptly asked him, "What seems to be the issue today?"

"Something is wrong with my dick!" the old man exclaimed.

"Sir! Please do not use that kind of language and so loudly," said the receptionist.

The crotchety old man asked, "Well how else am I supposed to say it?"

"Just use a different word, like a different body part so the other people won't be embarrassed. Let's try again."

So the old guy, ornery as he is, walked out. The nurse looked puzzled but then the old man walked back in and she smiled. "What seems to be the issue today?"

"Something is wrong with my ear!"

Smiling, the nurse asks, "What's wrong with your ear?"

"It hurts when I piss out it!"
 
Malak said:
One day this old man entered the urgent care. He walked up to the receptionist who promptly asked him, "What seems to be the issue today?"

"Something is wrong with my dick!" the old man exclaimed.

"Sir! Please do not use that kind of language and so loudly," said the receptionist.

The crotchety old man asked, "Well how else am I supposed to say it?"

"Just use a different word, like a different body part so the other people won't be embarrassed. Let's try again."

So the old guy, ornery as he is, walked out. The nurse looked puzzled but then the old man walked back in and she smiled. "What seems to be the issue today?"

"Something is wrong with my ear!"

Smiling, the nurse asks, "What's wrong with your ear?"

"It hurts when I piss out it!"
Click to expand...

:\

mine was better.
 
bob's been a 34 waist since he can remember, and prides himself on his physical fitness for his size and age. Lately he's been having massive back pains, so he goes to visit the doctor to see what's up.

the doc comes back "it doesn't look good bob - the only way to relieve the pain is to get castrated"

deciding that living without the pain would be better, bob opts to undergo surgery.

a few weeks after recovery, he decides to buy himself a new pair of pants, tailored to fit him perfectly.

he goes into the store and says to the tailor "i need a size 34 pair of pants."

the tailor says "nope - you're a 36, guaranteed - i've been doing this longer than you've been alive!"

slightly confused, bob asks "so what would wearing a 34 do to a guy who's a 36?"

the tailor says "well, that'd give you one hell of a back ache!"
 
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