Funny insults and comebacks thread. Post you best

[randalee]

"I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you I throw up."

 

[falias]

Your mom goes to college!

 

[Schadenfreude]

I'll be sober in the morning, but you'll always be fugly!

 

[shuan24]

"If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I would've bent over and farted."

/stolen

 

[slightlyhuman]

your momma's so tall she did a cartwheel and kicked Jesus.

your such a stankass, you make rightguard go left.

bend over, touch your toes and fart, maybe you will dislodge your head from your ass.(stolen)

 

[BRObedoza]

Originally posted by: falias
Your mom goes to college!

:laugh::thumbsup:

 

[Doggiedog]

Its "Post your best." you double dumbass!

 

[BlackAdam]

If I wanted a comeback, I'd have wiped it off your mom's chin.

 

[Trygve]

I was at a restaurant with a large group of friends a few years back and one of them was this kinda cocky, smartass type (I don't mean that in a bad way; that was just how his sense of humor works) who was about six or eight inches shorter than I am and skinny. We'd known each other for quite a few years and even dated two of the same women (Melissa and Jill), though at different times. 🙂

He was mouthing off a bit at one point and one of the other people at the table said to him, "don't piss Trygve off, he could take you apart with one hand." He smirked back at the guy who said that and responded, "I may be small, but I'm fast."

I looked at him and, without missing a beat, said, "yeah. That's what Melissa told me."

 

[kevman]

Originally posted by: BlackAdam
If I wanted a comeback, I'd have wiped it off your mom's chin.

winnar

 

[SuPrEIVIE]

hello

hello

bye

bye

 

[MetalMat]

(Said this to a chick arguing with me)

"Why is your mouth open biatch? My paints ain't unzipped"

 

[kevman]

Originally posted by: MetalMat
(Said this to a chick arguing with me)

"Why is your mouth open biatch? My paints ain't unzipped"

new winnar

 

[mwtgg]

Originally posted by: Trygve
I was at a restaurant with a large group of friends a few years back and one of them was this kinda cocky, smartass type (I don't mean that in a bad way; that was just how his sense of humor works) who was about six or eight inches shorter than I am and skinny. We'd known each other for quite a few years and even dated two of the same women (Melissa and Jill), though at different times. 🙂

He was mouthing off a bit at one point and one of the other people at the table said to him, "don't piss Trygve off, he could take you apart with one hand." He smirked back at the guy who said that and responded, "I may be small, but I'm fast."

I looked at him and, without missing a beat, said, "yeah. That's what Melissa told me."

LMAO, I bet that shut him up quickly, or did he give one of those desperation insults back? The ones that usually start with "Oh yeah, well..."

 

[kogase]

Originally posted by: Trygve
I was at a restaurant with a large group of friends a few years back and one of them was this kinda cocky, smartass type (I don't mean that in a bad way; that was just how his sense of humor works) who was about six or eight inches shorter than I am and skinny. We'd known each other for quite a few years and even dated two of the same women (Melissa and Jill), though at different times. 🙂

He was mouthing off a bit at one point and one of the other people at the table said to him, "don't piss Trygve off, he could take you apart with one hand." He smirked back at the guy who said that and responded, "I may be small, but I'm fast."

I looked at him and, without missing a beat, said, "yeah. That's what Melissa told me."

So your name is actually Trygve? All these comebacks are lame. I feel dirty just for posting on this thread.

 

[SuPrEIVIE]

no ribald humor porfavor

 

[Trygve]

Originally posted by: mwtgg

Originally posted by: Trygve

I looked at him and, without missing a beat, said, "yeah. That's what Melissa told me."

LMAO, I bet that shut him up quickly, or did he give one of those desperation insults back? The ones that usually start with "Oh yeah, well..."

He just sputtered for a while. He never did live that one down and still gets teased about it occasionally.

 

[RightWinga]

HAHA B!TCH YOU GOT NELLIGANNED

 

[Trygve]

Originally posted by: kogase

Originally posted by: Trygve
(...sometthing...)

So your name is actually Trygve?

Yep. Had that name all my life. It's an odd sort of family tradition--the oldest male child in every other generation dating back to the Vikings has been named Trygve.

 

[Mucho]

He is as useful as a milk bucket under a bull.

 

[kogase]

Originally posted by: Trygve

Originally posted by: kogase

Originally posted by: Trygve
(...sometthing...)

So your name is actually Trygve?

Yep. Had that name all my life. It's an odd sort of family tradition--the oldest male child in every other generation dating back to the Vikings has been named Trygve.

Vikings. My grandmother is Swedish, so I feel entitled to call myself one. But I bet you're Norwegian or something, a FAKE Viking. Real ones hail from the mother country.

 

[MaxDepth]

So? Your mom always liked me better than you.

 

[EGGO]

You're depriving a village of an idiot.

 

[Trygve]

Originally posted by: kogase

Originally posted by: Trygve

Originally posted by: kogase

So your name is actually Trygve?

Yep. Had that name all my life. It's an odd sort of family tradition--the oldest male child in every other generation dating back to the Vikings has been named Trygve.

Vikings. My grandmother is Swedish, so I feel entitled to call myself one. But I bet you're Norwegian or something, a FAKE Viking. Real ones hail from the mother country.

Faking it is all part of a day's work--and, fake or not, I was the one on the posters and in the ads for the Smithsonian Institution Travelling Museum Exhibit on the Vikings. 😉