Funny Air Traffic Controller Quotes

[NoToRiOuS1]

you made me choke on my own saliva. holy ****** that was funny.


From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: "I'm f...ing bored!" Ground Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!" Unknown aircraft: "I said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing stupid!"

Allegedly, a Pan Am 727 flight waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the following: Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?" Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English." Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?" Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): "Because you lost the bloody war."

LMAO


thats one hell of a post. 10/10

 

[sygyzy]

Originally posted by: ryan256

Originally posted by: sygyzy

I didn't get this one Care to explain what a seven-engine approach is?

A B-52 has 8 engines. One down he was running on 7. Most US fighters only have 1 engine.[/quote]

Ok that makes sense, but what is it parodying? For example, if I see a big rig trying to turn around on a small street, I might say "Oh, a 100 point turn" which parodies the well known "three point turn" that most cars make. Is there something in airplane lingo referring to the number of engines used in landing?

 

[toekramp]

Originally posted by: sygyzy

Originally posted by: ryan256

Originally posted by: sygyzy

I didn't get this one Care to explain what a seven-engine approach is?

A B-52 has 8 engines. One down he was running on 7. Most US fighters only have 1 engine.

Ok that makes sense, but what is it parodying? For example, if I see a big rig trying to turn around on a small street, I might say "Oh, a 100 point turn" which parodies the well known "three point turn" that most cars make. Is there something in airplane lingo referring to the number of engines used in landing?[/quote]

the pilot has one faulty engine to work with and has to wait for a plane with 7 good engines to land in front of him.

 

[Mayfriday0529]

Repost!!!

 

[StevenYoo]

post of the month!

 

[DaTT]

Originally posted by: sygyzy

Originally posted by: ryan256

Originally posted by: sygyzy

I didn't get this one Care to explain what a seven-engine approach is?

A B-52 has 8 engines. One down he was running on 7. Most US fighters only have 1 engine.

Ok that makes sense, but what is it parodying? For example, if I see a big rig trying to turn around on a small street, I might say "Oh, a 100 point turn" which parodies the well known "three point turn" that most cars make. Is there something in airplane lingo referring to the number of engines used in landing?[/quote]

B-52 has 1 engine down thus having 7 good ones remaining....Fighter pilot has one engine on the fritz thus having zero engines remaining.

 

[Toonces]

made me think of this joke - nautical, not aircraft related

This is the transcript on an ACTUAL radio conversation of a US Naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10 - 10 - 95.

Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.
Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.
Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
Canadians: No. I say again you divert YOUR course.
Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES` ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE COURSE OR MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.
Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

 

[NiKeFiDO]

:thumbsup:

best 2k post ever

Originally posted by: UNESC0
made me think of this joke - nautical, not aircraft related

This is the transcript on an ACTUAL radio conversation of a US Naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10 - 10 - 95.

Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.
Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.
Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
Canadians: No. I say again you divert YOUR course.
Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES` ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE COURSE OR MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.
Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

also lmfao

 

[Sqube]

Oh man, quality all around. UNESC0 I love that one.

 

[ryan256]

Originally posted by: UNESC0
made me think of this joke - nautical, not aircraft related

This is the transcript on an ACTUAL radio conversation of a US Naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10 - 10 - 95.

Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.
Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.
Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
Canadians: No. I say again you divert YOUR course.
Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES` ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE COURSE OR MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.
Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

Actually I've heard that one before as well. Only it was between the British & the French then. Still funny though.

 

[Kerouactivist]

great thread :thumbsup:

 

[Feldenak]

Originally posted by: rudder
Do people here even remember Eastern and Pan Am? Even TWA for that matter.

I do.

 

[DanTMWTMP]

hehe pretty amusing

 

[KillyKillall]

Originally posted by: Feldenak

Originally posted by: rudder
Do people here even remember Eastern and Pan Am? Even TWA for that matter.

I do.

I remember Pan Am and TWA, but not Eastern. I never lived on the East coast either though if they were based somewhere over there.

 

[zugzoog]

9/10 :thumbsup:

Even if they are made up, they are still funny.

 

[SilverTorch]

Originally posted by: FrustratedUser

Good stuff

 

[GagHalfrunt]

Originally posted by: UNESC0
made me think of this joke - nautical, not aircraft related

This is the transcript on an ACTUAL radio conversation of a US Naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10 - 10 - 95.

Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.
Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.
Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
Canadians: No. I say again you divert YOUR course.
Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES` ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE COURSE OR MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.
Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

Old, dumb and fake.

 

[geno]

'twas a joke, my laddie