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Funniest thing someone said to you this week

johnjohn320

johnjohn320

Diamond Member
(see sig for mine)

Bass player in a pit orhcestra I was in leaned over and said this to me during a show. One of those things that was so incredibly funny, mostly due to the fact that I couldn't laugh.
 
me to customer: Hi! What can I help you find today?
customer: nothing, I am just here to waste time
me: thanks for wasting mine
 
About an hour ago I asked my GF if she was going to join us in Cinco De Mayo celebrations. She replied with: "Sure, when is it?"
 
Chris: you son of a b!tch, this isnt a damn english class
Nate: No.
Nate: But I am teaching you.
Chris: sorry Professor Scrotum, give me a 2.0.
 
friend: remember when t. went and bought his bike the summer before last and then he lost his job and then his bike was stolen from out front my place?

me: yeah i remember, i felt bad and he thought it was the greatest thing cuz of insurance money

friend: well he just bought another bike

me: was it stolen?

friend: no but he lost his job haha
 
Online, talking to an illustrious member of our forums here about kokology (the scientificky study of stuff) where the reaction you have to the scenario supposedly corrosponds to the reaction you have to sexual climax:

AT member: 3) At the most exciting part of the course, the roller coaster dives into a pool of water and you're drenched by the spray. What do you scream or shout out at this instant?
AT member: "Damnit, I hate being wet!"
 
Originally posted by: Hatari Chic
Online, talking to an illustrious member of our forums here about kokology (the scientificky study of stuff) where the reaction you have to the scenario supposedly corrosponds to the reaction you have to sexual climax:

AT member: 3) At the most exciting part of the course, the roller coaster dives into a pool of water and you're drenched by the spray. What do you scream or shout out at this instant?
AT member: "Damnit, I hate being wet!"
Click to expand...

LOL 😀
 
I got a call on my cell phone yesterday...here's how it went:


Me: Hello
Moron: *barely coherent* Hello, uh, Charles...Valencia...Ruth...umm...Hello?
Me: I'm sorry, what?
Moron: Hello?
Me: Yes, I'm sorry, you must have the wrong number.
Moron: Charles? Ruth? Who am I speaking to?
Me: I'm sorry I'm none of the people you just mentioned.
Moron: Are you sure? I have your number in my phone book.
Me: You must have put in the number wrong.
Moron: Are you sure you aren't Charles?
Me: Yes, you have the wrong number.


I would say it was a prank call, but this lady sounded geniunely confused and quite shocked that I'm not Charles.
 
A Point of Sale user calling to report that her POS station was 'down' - the server had crashed: "I'm having trouble with my PMS!

After I stopped laughing, I said "Sorry, I can't help with that"
 
My friend pulled out some moldy bread, looked at it, and asked me what could happen if he ate it. I said he could get sick and get diarrhea, he looked and me and shrugged and proceeded to make a sandwich.
 
Originally posted by: johnjohn320
(see sig for mine)

Bass player in a pit orhcestra I was in leaned over and said this to me during a show. One of those things that was so incredibly funny, mostly due to the fact that I couldn't laugh.
Click to expand...

I see your friend has access to the internet as well.
 
Was putting of doing something & coworker said
"Procrastination is like masturbation, it seems like fun at first, but in the end you're only fvcking yourself"


Edit
Did a search on google & the original quote was
"Procrastination is like masturbation. At first it's fun, but in the end you realize you're just screwing yourself. "
 
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