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funniest Homer Simpson quotes

R

Ready

Golden Member
my favorite one

Homer: "Hello, I'm Mr. Burnes"
Post office employee:"what is your name?"
Homer: "I don't know"


FOr the hardcore fans, I know i didn't get the exact wording right
 
Originally posted by: Ready
my favorite one

Homer: "Hello, I'm Mr. Burnes"
Post office employee:"what is your name?"
Homer: "I don't know"


FOr the hardcore fans, I know i didn't get the exact wording right
Click to expand...

You messed that up.

H: Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.
PO: Alright Mr. Burns, what's your first name?
H: I don't know.

I like:

H: HAHA Skeletor! ZING! *whisper* What's a skeletor?
 
All right, brain. You don't like me and I don't like you, but let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer.
 
Marge: Homer, when are you going to give up this crazy sugar scheme?

Homer: Never, Marge. Never. I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles. Sure, I might offend a few of the bluenoses with my cocky stride and musky odors -- oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "City Fathers" who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about "What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?"
 
Mr. Burns: Who the hell are you?
Homer: Don't say Homer Simpson, don't say Homer Simpson, don't say Homer Simpson.
---------- Hello, My name is Mr. Burns. DOH
 
Homer: All right, Brain, it's all up to you. If you don't think of what it is, we'll lose Marge forever.
Homer's Brain: Eat the pudding eat the pudding eat the pudding eat the pudding eat the pudding eat the pudding eat the pudding eat the pudding
Homer: OK. But then we gotta get to work.

oddly enough, this bit has been edited out of some reruns I've seen.
 
Ok I know this isn't a Homer quote but I just love it so much I feel the need to share it with the world;

Mr. Burns: Pfft...our mutants have flippers not wings...oh no! I've said too much already, quick Smithers use the amnesia ray.
Smithers: You mean the revolver?
Mr. Burns: Precisely!
 
Commercial: "Possible side effects include loss of scalp and penis"
Homer: "What did they say about my scalp?!

Marge: "Homer, the plant called and said if you're not coming into work today don't bother coming in on Monday"
Homer: "Woo-hoo! Four day weekend!"
 
Originally posted by: Ready
my favorite one

Homer: "Hello, I'm Mr. Burnes"
Post office employee:"what is your name?"
Homer: "I don't know"


FOr the hardcore fans, I know i didn't get the exact wording right
Click to expand...

Far enough that you almost lost the spirit of the quote 🙁
 
Homer: [in falsetto] Hello Mr. Burns? This is your mother.

Smithers: [whispering] No...

Burns: Urg... Oh, hello mater. Um... sorry about pulling the plug on
you and all, uh... who could've known you'll pull through
and... live... for another 5 decades? Ohh, is my face red!

Smithers: [to Homer] Mrs. Burns is 122 years old, so try to sound more
dessicated. And she doesn't call her son "Mr. Burns"!

Homer: [cracking falsetto] Son, this is Mrs. Burns. I just called to
say I don't love you. You are a bad son Montel...

http://www.snpp.com/episodes/3F14.html
 
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