Funeral etiquette question

[iroast]

The family requested that in place of flowers, donations be sent to some organization. Do I send the check to the organization, or bring it (inside a sympathy card) to the funeral and give it to one of the family members?

Thank you.

 

[dougp]

You located in Houston? I just had a friend pass away and it's the exact same situation ...

 

[kranky]

I send it to the organization directly with a note saying it's in memory of <deceased>. Then in the sympathy card for the family I just mention I made a donation to XYZ in <deceased's> honor.

 

[iroast]

No, not Houston. NJ.

I feel awkward at funerals. Don't know what to say/do. "My sympathy" or "my condolences" feels inadequate.

 

[SmoochyTX]

Originally posted by: kranky
I send it to the organization directly with a note saying it's in memory of <deceased>. Then in the sympathy card for the family I just mention I made a donation to XYZ in <deceased's> honor.

:thumbsup:

 

[Flash1969]

Originally posted by: iroast
No, not Houston. NJ.

I feel awkward at funerals. Don't know what to say/do. "My sympathy" or "my condolences" feels inadequate.

I think most people feel this way. I know I do...

 

[Atomic Playboy]

As someone who processes gifts for a non-profit organization, please, regardless of who sends it in, include a note that it is a gift "in memory of" or "in honor of" the specific person. Don't hide it in the memo of the check, we don't pay attention to that stuff.

 

[Alistar7]

Originally posted by: Flash1969

Originally posted by: iroast
No, not Houston. NJ.

I feel awkward at funerals. Don't know what to say/do. "My sympathy" or "my condolences" feels inadequate.

I think most people feel this way. I know I do...

You are not there because you can actually do or say anything that will bring back what they lost. You are there to pay your respect, and to offer your support. Your comments, especially in light of your presence, are hardly inadequate.