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Full Metal Jacket

C

chiwawa626

Lifer
Marine recruits stand at attention in front of their bunks.

Master Gunnery Sergeant HARTMAN walks along the line of blank?faced recruits.

HARTMAN
I am Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, your Senior Drill Instructor. From now on, you will speak only when spoken to, and the first and last words out of your filthy sewers will be "Sir"!. Do you maggots understand that?

RECRUITS
(in unison)
Sir, yes, sir!

HARTMAN
Bullsh!t! I can't hear you. Sound off like you got a pair.

RECRUITS
(louder)
Sir, yes, sir!

HARTMAN
If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training... you will be a weapon, you will be a minister of death, praying for war. But until that day you are pukes! You're the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human fvcking beings! You are nothing but unorganized grabasstic pieces of amphibian sh!t! Because I am hard, you will not like me. But the more you hate me, the more you will learn. I am hard, but I am fair! There is no racial bigotry here! I do not look down on awesome people, kikes, wops or greasers. Here you are all equally worthless! And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps! Do you maggots understand that?

RECRUITS
(in unison)
Sir, yes, sir!

HARTMAN
Bullsh!t! I can't hear you!

RECRUITS
(louder)
Sir, yes, sir!

Sergeant HARTMAN stops in front of a black recruit, Private SNOWBALL.

HARTMAN
What's your name, scumbag?

SNOWBALL
(shouting)
Sir, Private Brown, sir!

HARTMAN
Bullsh!t! From now on you're Private Snowball! Do you like that name?

SNOWBALL
(shouting)
Sir, yes, sir!

HARTMAN
Well, there's one thing that you won't like, Private Snowball! They don't serve fried chicken and watermelon on a daily basis in my mess hall!

SNOWBALL
Sir, yes, sir!

JOKER
(whispering)
Is that you, John Wayne? Is this me?

HARTMAN
Who said that? Who the fvck said that? Who's the slimy little communist sh!t twinkle?toed c0cksucker down here, who just signed his own death warrant? Nobody, huh?! The fairy fvcking godmother said it! Out-fvcking-standing! I will P.T. you all until you fvcking die! I'll P.T. you until your assholes are sucking buttermilk.

Sergeant HARTMAN grabs COWBOY by the shirt.

HARTMAN
Was it you, you scroungy little fvck, huh?!

COWBOY
Sir, no, sir!

HARTMAN
You little piece of sh!t! You look like a fvcking worm! I'll bet it was you!

COWBOY
Sir, no, sir!

JOKER
Sir, I said it, sir!

Sergeant HARTMAN steps up to JOKER.

HARTMAN
Well ... no sh!t. What have we got here, a fvcking comedian? Private Joker? I admire your honesty. Hell, I like you. You can come over to my house and fvck my sister.

Sergeant HARTMAN purnches JOKER in the stomach.

JOKER sags to his knees.

HARTMAN
You little scumbag! I've got your name! I've got your ass! You will not laugh! You will not cry! You will learn by the numbers. I will teach you. Now get up! Get on your feet! You had best unfvck yourself or I
will unscrew your head and sh!t down your neck!

JOKER
Sir, yes, sir!

HARTMAN
Private Joker, why did you join my beloved Corps?

JOKER
Sir, to kill, sir!

HARTMAN
So you're a killer!

JOKER
Sir, yes, sir!

HARTMAN
Let me see your war face!

JOKER
Sir?

HARTMAN
You've got a war face? Aaaaaaaagh! That's a war face. Now let me see your war face!

JOKER
Aaaaaaaagh!

HARTMAN
Bullsh!t! You didn't convince me! Let me see your real war face!

JOKER
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!

HARTMAN
You didn't scare me! Work on it!

JOKER
Sir, yes, sir!

SERGEANT HARTMAN speaks into Cowboy's face.

HARTMAN
What's your excuse?

COWBOY
Sir, excuse for what, sir?

HARTMAN
I'm asking the fvcking questions here, Private. Do you understand?!

COWBOY
Sir, yes, sir!

HARTMAN
Well thank you very much! Can I be in charge for a while?

COWBOY
Sir, yes, sir!

HARTMAN
Are you shook up? Are you nervous?

COWBOY
Sir, I am, sir!

HARTMAN
Do I make you nervous?

COWBOY
Sir!

HARTMAN
Sir, what? Were you about to call me an asshole?!

COWBOY
Sir, no, sir!

HARTMAN
How tall are you, Private?

COWBOY
Sir, five foot nine, sir!

HARTMAN
Five foot nine? I didn't know they stacked sh!t that high! You trying to squeeze an inch in on me somewhere, huh?

COWBOY
Sir, no, sir.

HARTMAN
Bullsh!t! It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your mama's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress! I think you've been cheated!

HARTMAN
Where in hell are you from anyway, Private?

COWBOY
Sir, Texas, sir!

HARTMAN
Holy dogsh!t! Texas! Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy! And you don't look much like a steer to me, so that kinda narrows it down! Do you suck dicks!

COWBOY
Sir, no, sir!

HARTMAN
Are you a peter-puffer?

COWBOY
Sir, no, sir!

HARTMAN
I'll bet you're the kind of guy that would fvck a person in the ass and not even have the goddam common
courtesy to give him a reach-around! I'll be watching you!

Sergeant HARTMAN walks down the line to another recruit, a tall, overtweight boy.

HARTMAN
Did your parents have any children that lived?

PYLE
Sir, yes, sir!

HARTMAN
I'll bet they regret that! You're so ugly you could be a modern art masterpiece! What's your name, fatbody?

PYLE
Sir, Leonard Lawrence, sir!

HARTMAN
Lawrence? Lawrence, what, of Arabia?

PYLE
Sir, no, sir!

HARTMAN
That name sounds like royalty! Are you royalty?

PYLE
Sir, no, sir!

HARTMAN
Do you suck dicks?

PYLE
Sir, no, sir!

HARTMAN
Bullsh!t! I'll bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose!

PYLE
Sir, no, sir!

HARTMAN
I don't like the name Lawrence! Only faggots and sailors are called Lawrence! From now on you're Gomer Pyle!

PYLE
Sir, yes, sir!

PYLE has the trace of a strange smile on his face.

HARTMAN
Do you think I'm cute, Private Pyle? Do you think I'm funny?

PYLE
Sir, no, sir!

HARTMAN
Then wipe that disgusting grin off your face!

PYLE
Sir, yes, sir!

HARTMAN
Well, any fvcking time, sweetheart!

PYLE
Sir, I'm trying, sir.

HARTMAN
Private Pyle, I'm gonna give you three seconds ? excactly three fvcking seconds ??to wipe that stupid-looking grin off your face, or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull?fvck you! One! Two! Three!

PYLE purses his lips but continues to smile involuntarily.

PYLE
Sir, I can't help it, sir!

HARTMAN
Bullsh!t! Get on your knees, scumbag!

PYLE gets down on his Knees.

HARTMAN
Now choke yourself!

PYLE places his hands around his throat as if to choke himself.

HARTMAN
Goddamn it, with my hand, numbnuts!!

PYLE reaches for HARTMAN's hand. HARTMAN jerks it away.

HARTMAN
Don't pull my fvcking hand over there! I said choke yourself! Now lean forward and choke yourself!

PYLE leans forward so that his neck rests in HARTMAN's open hand.

HARTMAN chokes PYLE.

PYLE gags and starts to turn red in the face.

HARTMAN
Are you through grinning?

PYLE
(barely able to speak)
Sir, yes, sir!

HARTMAN
Bullsh!t! I can't hear you!

PYLE
(gasping)
Sir, yes, sir!

HARTMAN
Bullsh!t! I still can't hear you! Sound offlike you got a pair!

PYLE
(gagging)
Sir, yes, sir!

HARTMAN
That's enough! Get on your feet!

HARTMAN releases PYLE's throat. PYLE gets to his feet, breathing heavily.

HARTMAN
Private Pyle, you had best square your ass away and start sh!tting me Tiffany cuff links ... or I will definitely fvck you up!

PYLE
Sir, yes, sir!

 
great movie...so many great lines

"he really is a good person, he just needs someone to throw hand grenades at him the rest of his life."
 
One of the greatest movie scenes ever! That bunk scene kicks ass. So many classic lines ...

unorganized grabasstic pieces of amphibian sh!t!

There is no racial bigotry here! I do not look down on awesome people, kikes, wops or greasers. Here you are all equally worthless

Etc, etc.
 
COWBOY
Sir!

HARTMAN
Sir, what? Were you about to call me an asshole?!
Click to expand...
Haha, I love that line. I have been watching that movie over and over this week. It's so great I can't believe I am just getting into it now. The Joker rocks.

Animal Mother: You a photographer?

Private Joker: I'm a combat correspondent.

Animal Mother: Well you seen much combat?

Private Joker: I've seen a little on TV.

Animal Mother: You're a real comedian.

Private Joker: Well they call me Joker.

Animal Mother: Well I got a joke for you. I'm gonna tear you a new asshole.

Private Joker: Well pilgrim, only after you eat the peanuts out of my sh*t.

Animal Mother: You talk the talk. Do you walk the walk?
 
.............."Doc J. and Eight ball are WAAAAAAAASTED!!.. "


sadly I know that whole first scene by heart 😕
 
The best part is most people don't realize FMJ is a comedy. I am going to watch it again today at work on my notebook.

Pogue Colonel: Marine, what is that button on your body armor?

Private Joker: A peace symbol, sir.

Pogue Colonel: Where'd you get it?

Private Joker: I don't remember, sir.

Pogue Colonel: What is that you've got written on your helmet?

Private Joker: "Born to Kill," sir.

Pogue Colonel: You write "Born to Kill" on your helmet and you wear a peace button. What's that supposed to be, some kind of sick joke?!

Private Joker: No, sir.

Pogue Colonel: You'd better get your head and your ass wired together, or I will take a giant sh*t on you!
 
Originally posted by: gigapet
Talk about avoiding the filters, where is the regulating mod on this one.........oh wait thats right I didnt make the post so its ok.


EDIT
if you dont know what i'm talking about
Click to expand...

Anything from Full Metal Jacket and Office Space are excluded from the filters


Either that or you have the "I hate Gigapet" Mod following you around waiting for you to slip up.
 
when being an "a$$hole" and "annoying" I thought of it as I was just trying to fit in.

me thinks peeps around here LOVE to dish it out but HATE getting it served back to them.
 
Originally posted by: gigapet
when being an "a$$hole" and "annoying" I thought of it as I was just trying to fit in.

me thinks peeps around here LOVE to dish it out but HATE getting it served back to them.
Click to expand...

What the hell are you talking about? Youre the one who came in here neffing it up whinning about the mods coming down on you.

Mod's he bypassed the filter again. Ban him 😀 He's apparently too stupid to learn his lesson.
 
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