- May 4, 2001
- 6,074
- 2
- 0
From the HR desk....
==============
Cover letter: "I would be prepared to meet with you at
your earliest
convenience to discuss what I can do to your company."
That's what we're afraid of ...
========================================================================
======
==============
Resume: "It is my professional objective to obtain a
position which
allows me to make use of my commuter skills."
I think we can oblige.
========================================================================
======
==============
Weaknesses: "Suffer from prickly heat in summer."
Sounds uncomfortable.
========================================================================
======
==============
Cover letter: "Enclosed is my resume for your viewing
pleasure."
We can hardly wait.
========================================================================
======
==============
Cover letter: "You are privileged to receive my
resume."
We'll try not to let it go to our heads.
========================================================================
======
==============
Objective: "To mature in the field of human behavior."
Good luck with that.
========================================================================
======
==============
Experience: "10 years of experience in financail
budgiting and
transactions rigistering."
But limited experience with the spell-check function.
========================================================================
======
==============
Cover letter: "Please overlook my resume."
If you insist.
========================================================================
======
==============
Cover letter: "I'm submitting the attached copy of my
resume for your
consumption."
Yum.
========================================================================
======
==============
Skills: "Grate communication skills."
Yes, but can you talk and chop at the same time?
========================================================================
======
==============
Experience: "Responsibilities included recruiting,
screening,
interviewing and executing final candidates."
Seems kind of harsh ...
========================================================================
======
==============
Cover letter: "Salary demanded - $65,000."
Would you like that in small, unmarked bills?
========================================================================
======
==============
Strengths: "Ability to meet deadlines while
maintaining composer."
Would that be Mozart or Beethoven?
========================================================================
======
==============
Education: "B.A. in Loberal Arts."
Did you minor in ear piercing?
========================================================================
======
==============
Cover letter: "I've updated my resume so it's more
appalling to
employers."
We're pretty shocked already ...
========================================================================
======
==============
Cover letter: "Seek challenges that test my mind and
body, since the
two
are usually inseparable."
Glad to hear it.
========================================================================
======
==============
Cover letter: "My intensity and focus are at
inordinately high levels,
and my ability to complete projects on time is
unspeakable."
At these extremes, some things are best left unsaid.
==============
Cover letter: "I would be prepared to meet with you at
your earliest
convenience to discuss what I can do to your company."
That's what we're afraid of ...
========================================================================
======
==============
Resume: "It is my professional objective to obtain a
position which
allows me to make use of my commuter skills."
I think we can oblige.
========================================================================
======
==============
Weaknesses: "Suffer from prickly heat in summer."
Sounds uncomfortable.
========================================================================
======
==============
Cover letter: "Enclosed is my resume for your viewing
pleasure."
We can hardly wait.
========================================================================
======
==============
Cover letter: "You are privileged to receive my
resume."
We'll try not to let it go to our heads.
========================================================================
======
==============
Objective: "To mature in the field of human behavior."
Good luck with that.
========================================================================
======
==============
Experience: "10 years of experience in financail
budgiting and
transactions rigistering."
But limited experience with the spell-check function.
========================================================================
======
==============
Cover letter: "Please overlook my resume."
If you insist.
========================================================================
======
==============
Cover letter: "I'm submitting the attached copy of my
resume for your
consumption."
Yum.
========================================================================
======
==============
Skills: "Grate communication skills."
Yes, but can you talk and chop at the same time?
========================================================================
======
==============
Experience: "Responsibilities included recruiting,
screening,
interviewing and executing final candidates."
Seems kind of harsh ...
========================================================================
======
==============
Cover letter: "Salary demanded - $65,000."
Would you like that in small, unmarked bills?
========================================================================
======
==============
Strengths: "Ability to meet deadlines while
maintaining composer."
Would that be Mozart or Beethoven?
========================================================================
======
==============
Education: "B.A. in Loberal Arts."
Did you minor in ear piercing?
========================================================================
======
==============
Cover letter: "I've updated my resume so it's more
appalling to
employers."
We're pretty shocked already ...
========================================================================
======
==============
Cover letter: "Seek challenges that test my mind and
body, since the
two
are usually inseparable."
Glad to hear it.
========================================================================
======
==============
Cover letter: "My intensity and focus are at
inordinately high levels,
and my ability to complete projects on time is
unspeakable."
At these extremes, some things are best left unsaid.
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