Friends with benefits: Yes or No?

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vi edit

vi edit

Elite Member
Super Moderator
Oct 28, 1999
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For most people, it just ends up a mess. One of the people in the "relationship" will develop some sort of feelings for the other person and just end up getting burned in the end.

For most people it's not a healthy sort of relationship.

I'm not saying that it doesn't work, I'm just saying that it doesn't work for most.
 
zCypher

zCypher

Diamond Member
Aug 18, 2002
6,115
171
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What's with these threads? :p

Anyway... to answer your question, I think it can be ok, but it will never be a long term solution, as it was never meant to be, it's simply a casual relation, those types of things come and go.

It's not for people who are committed. For single people, I see no problem with it, if both parties are ok with it. But obviously if you're ho-ing around, there are consequences associated with those actions. If you aren't ready to accept the consequences of your actions or take appropriate measures to prevent said consequences, then you have a problem.
 
Imported

Imported

Lifer
Sep 2, 2000
14,679
23
81
Originally posted by: vi_edit
For most people, it just ends up a mess. One of the people in the "relationship" will develop some sort of feelings for the other person and just end up getting burned in the end.

For most people it's not a healthy sort of relationship.

I'm not saying that it doesn't work, I'm just saying that it doesn't work for most.
Click to expand...

What he said.
 
T

Trygve

Golden Member
Aug 1, 2001
1,428
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If all parties are interested in it and honest about it, it seems like a perfectly reasonable thing to do. It's probably best to be clear about what you're looking for and under what circumstances you might want to end the "with benefits" part of the relationship (e.g., one person meets someone they really are interested in for a more serious relationship).
 
AreaCode707

AreaCode707

Lifer
Sep 21, 2001
18,447
133
106
I know I'm likely to be the only one espousing this viewpoint, so you don't need to bash me for it. Anyway...

For me, having sex with someone aside from your life partner (married) is having sex with someone beside your life partner, no matter whether you do it while you're in the relationship or before you're in the relationship. This, while it may make no sense to you, makes perfect sense to me, and is my reasoning for not having sex outside of marriage. Even if I don't know my husband yet, having sex with anyone else is "cheating". So no, I don't do the Fw/B thing.
 
I

imported_Tomato

Diamond Member
Sep 11, 2002
7,608
0
0
vi_edit & zCypher, good points.

I think even if both people are mature enough to understand what they're getting into, there's always the potential for feelings to arise uncontrollably and unpredictably.

Most of my friends are sexually confident men/women, and many are too busy with work/school to really invest 110% into a relationship. For a number of them, the friends with benefits thing is a convenient short-term solution for basic needs. Most of them would love to have a special someone, but either haven't found Mr/Miss Perfect, or aren't quite ready to emotionally commit, knowing that they may not be able to put their all into the relationship.
 
Shawn

Shawn

Lifer
Apr 20, 2003
32,236
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I did that for a while...... but then I feel in love w/ her. So... it sucked.
 
The Stigenator

The Stigenator

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
15,216
3
81
i always wanted to try it but with my luck it would never happen.

I would like to have someone very exprimentive and stuff.. and totally open.. but then chances i will fall for them if I do that..

anycase i love my gf.. so none of that funny business.
 
silverpig

silverpig

Lifer
Jul 29, 2001
27,703
12
81
Originally posted by: HotChic
I know I'm likely to be the only one espousing this viewpoint, so you don't need to bash me for it. Anyway...

For me, having sex with someone aside from your life partner (married) is having sex with someone beside your life partner, no matter whether you do it while you're in the relationship or before you're in the relationship. This, while it may make no sense to you, makes perfect sense to me, and is my reasoning for not having sex outside of marriage. Even if I don't know my husband yet, having sex with anyone else is "cheating". So no, I don't do the Fw/B thing.
Click to expand...

Cheating on your husband before you ever met... [neo]whoa[/neo]

I guess I can see it, but for me I just don't care :) I'd never ever cheat on my SO once we were together, but until we get to that point it's open season :D
 
masterxfob

masterxfob

Diamond Member
May 20, 2001
7,366
5
81
Originally posted by: iloveme2
I did that for a while...... but then I feel in love w/ her. So... it sucked.
Click to expand...

i fell in love with the sex. this 'freind' broke up with a guy after 6 years and there i was. it's like she couldn't get enough C0CK, it was simply better than what i've had with any of my x's, simply amazing.
 
B

Beau

Lifer
Jun 25, 2001
17,730
0
76
www.beauscott.com
Ask me a year ago, and I'll have given you a different answer.

Today, though, one of my biggest regrets is sleeping with anyone other than the one I'm gonna marry. The thought of her being with anyone else enrages me, and vice versa. If I could go back and erase one part of my life, I wouldn't chose fixing my financial problems, going to school, etc.; I'd choose to take back all my prior sex life.
 
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