Just got a longish e-mail from a female friend. Seems she was just stuck on an elevator for a full 20 minutes with a creepy little stranger.
She described him as looking like a cross between Pee Wee Herman and Gary Coleman. She said he was wearing a disheveled dashiki over some grease stained dockers, a sartorial combo that immediately put her ill at eased.
"It was his lazy eye and his habit of constantly murmuring to himself in a hushed but high-pitched squeak that really creeped me out," she wrote.
She described him as bald save for a one inch round patch of coarse hair that stood straight up in the middle of his oddly misshaped skull. She said he reminded her of a circus freak.
"When the elevator went out, he let out a loooooong, low pitched moan and collapsed on the floor in the fetal postion," she said.
He began wailing, "Mommy, mommy, mommy," incessantly, she added.
"Then he crawled over to me and clutched both of my ankles and began trying to lick me. I had to kick him hard and repeatedly until he retreated to the far corner of the elevator, where he began to loudly masturbate while whistling the theme song to Leave It To Beaver."
"I'm taking the stairs next time," she said.
She described him as looking like a cross between Pee Wee Herman and Gary Coleman. She said he was wearing a disheveled dashiki over some grease stained dockers, a sartorial combo that immediately put her ill at eased.
"It was his lazy eye and his habit of constantly murmuring to himself in a hushed but high-pitched squeak that really creeped me out," she wrote.
She described him as bald save for a one inch round patch of coarse hair that stood straight up in the middle of his oddly misshaped skull. She said he reminded her of a circus freak.
"When the elevator went out, he let out a loooooong, low pitched moan and collapsed on the floor in the fetal postion," she said.
He began wailing, "Mommy, mommy, mommy," incessantly, she added.
"Then he crawled over to me and clutched both of my ankles and began trying to lick me. I had to kick him hard and repeatedly until he retreated to the far corner of the elevator, where he began to loudly masturbate while whistling the theme song to Leave It To Beaver."
"I'm taking the stairs next time," she said.
