The fundamental problem in this debate (which has been raging since the dawn of greek organizations) is that neither side can see where the other side is coming from.
A lot of people who condemn fraternities and sororities have probably never been in one or had any friends who were in one (or have had friends that joined one and then lost touch...this does happen sometimes). Thus, all they have to go on is what they read in the school newspaper, what they hear "others" say, and what they observe with their eyes and ears. Therefore, it is understandable that people would make such generalizations as we've seen in this thread. Nothing mentioned here is a new observation--I've heard it all before. If I had a dime for every time I heard the phrase "paying for friends" I'd be a rich man. The raping girls one is another common misconception. Don't make sorority/college girls out to be more innocent than they really are. The ones that are having sex are the ones that want to have sex 99% of the time. Alcohol has a lot to do with it. Does date rape occur in fraternities? Yes it does... but the crux is with what frequency does it occur. And the answer is that it occurs very rarely. Parties are another thing. Yeah, there are a lot of parties at fraternities, but they are definitely not exclusive to greek houses. Plus, there are a lot of non-greeks who come as well. And finally, yeah there dumbasses in fraternities too, but that doesn't mean that everyone who joins one is automatically stupid. Contrary to what you may observe, there is a lot of variety in houses. People have different interests, different friends, different opinions. It's just easy to lump them all together because they live together and \have the same letters on their t-shirts--but try to resist that temptation. I think a lot of non-greeks are intimidated by greeks and therefore never get the chance to know any. If you did you'd realize that most are perfectly nice, normal people.
Onto the other side of the coin... I think members of the greek community have difficulty seeing how they (as a whole) come across to non-greeks. Some may have an idea (in the case of people who pledged during their upper class years)... but most people join when they are freshmen, so they never really get a chance to see how fraternities appear to the rest of the world. The generalizations brought up in this thread, though severely generalized, have to come from some degree of truth (no matter how slight). But try to put yourself in the place of a person who isn't in a house and see it from their eyes. What they see and hear is the bad stuff, because that's what tends to get publicized and talked about. No one's talking about how your house raised money for the United Way, or spent their Saturday working with retarded children. No, they'll be talking about how so-and-so raped some girl (which could very well be a rumor started by the girl) or how some house made all its pledges do an elephant walk (a lot of hazing stories are highly exaggerated as well). So it then becomes a matter of changing the public perception of greek life. That's already starting to happen with alcohol-free houses and more charitable work. But it also involves the responsibility of greek members to be mindful of how they appear to and treat students who areoutside of the greek community. Don't limit your friends to ones in your house (or the greek community as a whole), don't be one of the drunken "frat guy" stereotypes, don't let your house define who you are. These are the things that can be done to help change people's minds.
There are a lot of good things about being in a greek organization, most of which get lost underneath all of the hype, rumor, and scandal. Don't let a few bad apples spoil your view of the greek system as a whole. Fraternities/Sororities aren't everyone's cup of tea, but there's also no need to hate them... in actuality you'd probably find a lot to like about them if you're willing to look underneath the surface.
l2c