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Four women are out to lunch....

JEDIYoda

JEDIYoda

Lifer
Four women are out to lunch, when the talk turns to their respective children.....

The first woman says -- my son is a Priest and when he walks in the room everybody says - Hello, Father!
The second woman says - my son is a Bishop and when he walks in the room every body says -- your Excellency!
The third woman says --- my son is a Cardinal and when he walks in the room everybody says --- Hello, your Eminence!!
The fourth woman just sits minding her own buisness as the three other women look at her. Finally a woman speaks up and says - well, what does your son do??

The fourth woman looks at thge other three women and reluctantly says -- well my son is 6ft 8 and he is a male stripper!
When he walks in the room everybody says -- Oh My God!! Will you look at that.....
 
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Two gays, Rupert and Cecil, are lying in bed together when Rupert starts rubbing Vaseline in his chest.
Cecil asks "what are you doing?"
Rupert says "I read in a gay magazine that Vaseline stimulates hair growth and I want a hairy chest!"
Cecil says "Don't be so fucking stupid, if that were true I'd have a ponytail sticking out of my arse!"
 
When I first noticed that my penis was growing larger and staying erect longer, I was delighted, as was my wife. But... after several weeks, my penis had grown 12 inches. I became quite concerned. I was having problems dressing, and even walking. So the wife and I went to see a prominent urologist.

After an initial examination, the doctor explained to us that though rare my condition (Donkey Doodle) could be fixed through corrective surgery.

"How long will he be on crutches?" my wife asked anxiously. "Crutches? Why would he need crutches?" responded the surprised doctor. "Well," the wife said coldly, "you're going to lengthen his legs, aren't you?
 
The two housewives were drinking coffee together. "On my way over here," said Louise, "I developed an awful headache. Do you have any good remedies?"

Her friend Martha responded, "When I get a headache, my husband is the best remedy. He rubs my shoulders, then the back of my neck, caresses my breasts while kissing my tummy, and my pussy, then gives me a long screwing. In no time at all he's soothed the pain away. You should try it!" "I'm going to!" Louise replied.

The next day the housewives met and Louise remarked, "You were right about your husband, he did take the pain away, but he was surprised you suggested it."
 
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