- Nov 13, 2000
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I have often wondered what Poof gets up to when she goes behind the bushes, so I would like to share with you a little story 
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POOF'S BUSH
I have always wondered what goes on when Poof goes off behind the bushes, and so one day i decided to wander over there....
Confused looks through bushes, gasps, then collapses on the floor
some time later
Sirens appear in the distance, drawing ever closer, getting louder and louder til they stop outside Poof's house
Paramedic: What's happened?
Poof: I don't know! I just came out from behind the bushes here and he was collapsed on the floor
Paramedic: It looks like his face is all scratched up
Poof: it could be from these bushes, but what was he doing looking through the bushes, and what caused him to collapse
Paramedic: What is behind those bushes?
Poof: Only my hottub
Paramedic: So he was looking through the bushes at the hottub
Poof: Yeah, but there was only me in there
Paramedic: So we have narrowed it down to collapsing due to looking at the hottub
Poof: Yeah, i guess so, but why could he have collapsed?
Paramedic: That's what we will need to find out
Poof: Is there anything else wrong with him
Paramedic: Well it looks like he's hit his head on this paving slab here, doesn't look too nice
Poof: Oh yeah, i was meaning to get Ray to move that the next time he came over to use the hottub
Paramedic: Ray, isn't he that really old guy that has that darn cane?
Poof: Yeah, that's the one! How do you know him?
Paramedic: Oh, we've had to go and see a lot of people who have been hit by some old guy on his Red Rascal with a cane
Poof: Yeah, that's my Ray for sure
Paramedic: Well can you ask him to stop please! I joined here to save people's lives, not to go round and sort out injuries made by some old person with a dasm cane!
Poof: Well i will talk to him. So what are you going to do with Confused?
Paramedic: We will need to take him in and question him about some things
Poof: OK then, thank you
Some time later in hospital
Police Officer: 'Ello 'Ello 'Ello, what do we 'ave 'ere then? So what were you doing looking behind those bushes?
Confused: I was curious as to what Poof was doing when she went behind the bushes
Police Officer: And what did you find?
Confused: Oh, it was hideous
Police Officer: Well, what did you find?
Confused: Well, it was...nothing, i couldn't see anything
Police Officer: So why did you collapse?
Confused: I was expecting to see Poof in the hottub
Police Officer: But instead you saw.....nothing
Confused: Yeah, that's right. I was so shocked
Police Officer: Why were you shocked so much
Confused: Well, i had always been told that Poof had a hottub behind there, but that i was too young to go behind there
Police Officer: So you thought you would go have a look?
Confused: Yeah, then i couldn't see anything, so i passed out due to shock of seeing nothing
Police Officer: Well, do you want me to take you back there to show you what there is there
Confused: Oh, yes please!
The Police Officer and Confused go back to Poof's house, and the Police Officer knocks on the door
*knock knock knock*
Poof: Hello Officer, Confused
Police Officer: Evening ma'am, may we come in
Poof: Certainly, come on in
Police Officer: Look, Confused, this is what is actually outside
The three step outside
Confused: Oh my, it's, it's, it's....
Police Officer: Yes son, it is
Confused: It's a big hottub, full of people!
Poof: Yes Confused. Do you want to jump in!?
Confused: Yeah, ok! But why couldn't i see anything before?
Poof: It was just a screen to protect what really goes on here
Confused: Ahh, that's clever! Thanks Officer!
Police Officer: No problem, bye
Poof: I'll see you out Officer
Poof shows the Police Officer out, then comes out back once again
Confused: Wow, Poof, now i truly know what's here behind the bushes!
Poof: Yep, you do now! And for being such a neffer, here are some of the babes promised you
Out walks a bevvy of babes, each carrying some beer
Poof: Happy birthday Confused!
-----------------------------
Was originally going to be posted in my birthday thread, but thought more people would see it here!
And yes, if you are wondering, i am VERY bored on this bank holiday Monday afternoon!
I hope this has bought some humour to your Monday!
Confused
---------------------------------
POOF'S BUSH
I have always wondered what goes on when Poof goes off behind the bushes, and so one day i decided to wander over there....
Confused looks through bushes, gasps, then collapses on the floor
some time later
Sirens appear in the distance, drawing ever closer, getting louder and louder til they stop outside Poof's house
Paramedic: What's happened?
Poof: I don't know! I just came out from behind the bushes here and he was collapsed on the floor
Paramedic: It looks like his face is all scratched up
Poof: it could be from these bushes, but what was he doing looking through the bushes, and what caused him to collapse
Paramedic: What is behind those bushes?
Poof: Only my hottub
Paramedic: So he was looking through the bushes at the hottub
Poof: Yeah, but there was only me in there
Paramedic: So we have narrowed it down to collapsing due to looking at the hottub
Poof: Yeah, i guess so, but why could he have collapsed?
Paramedic: That's what we will need to find out
Poof: Is there anything else wrong with him
Paramedic: Well it looks like he's hit his head on this paving slab here, doesn't look too nice
Poof: Oh yeah, i was meaning to get Ray to move that the next time he came over to use the hottub
Paramedic: Ray, isn't he that really old guy that has that darn cane?
Poof: Yeah, that's the one! How do you know him?
Paramedic: Oh, we've had to go and see a lot of people who have been hit by some old guy on his Red Rascal with a cane
Poof: Yeah, that's my Ray for sure
Paramedic: Well can you ask him to stop please! I joined here to save people's lives, not to go round and sort out injuries made by some old person with a dasm cane!
Poof: Well i will talk to him. So what are you going to do with Confused?
Paramedic: We will need to take him in and question him about some things
Poof: OK then, thank you
Some time later in hospital
Police Officer: 'Ello 'Ello 'Ello, what do we 'ave 'ere then? So what were you doing looking behind those bushes?
Confused: I was curious as to what Poof was doing when she went behind the bushes
Police Officer: And what did you find?
Confused: Oh, it was hideous
Police Officer: Well, what did you find?
Confused: Well, it was...nothing, i couldn't see anything
Police Officer: So why did you collapse?
Confused: I was expecting to see Poof in the hottub
Police Officer: But instead you saw.....nothing
Confused: Yeah, that's right. I was so shocked
Police Officer: Why were you shocked so much
Confused: Well, i had always been told that Poof had a hottub behind there, but that i was too young to go behind there
Police Officer: So you thought you would go have a look?
Confused: Yeah, then i couldn't see anything, so i passed out due to shock of seeing nothing
Police Officer: Well, do you want me to take you back there to show you what there is there
Confused: Oh, yes please!
The Police Officer and Confused go back to Poof's house, and the Police Officer knocks on the door
*knock knock knock*
Poof: Hello Officer, Confused
Police Officer: Evening ma'am, may we come in
Poof: Certainly, come on in
Police Officer: Look, Confused, this is what is actually outside
The three step outside
Confused: Oh my, it's, it's, it's....
Police Officer: Yes son, it is
Confused: It's a big hottub, full of people!
Poof: Yes Confused. Do you want to jump in!?
Confused: Yeah, ok! But why couldn't i see anything before?
Poof: It was just a screen to protect what really goes on here
Confused: Ahh, that's clever! Thanks Officer!
Police Officer: No problem, bye
Poof: I'll see you out Officer
Poof shows the Police Officer out, then comes out back once again
Confused: Wow, Poof, now i truly know what's here behind the bushes!
Poof: Yep, you do now! And for being such a neffer, here are some of the babes promised you
Out walks a bevvy of babes, each carrying some beer
Poof: Happy birthday Confused!
-----------------------------
Was originally going to be posted in my birthday thread, but thought more people would see it here!
And yes, if you are wondering, i am VERY bored on this bank holiday Monday afternoon!
I hope this has bought some humour to your Monday!
Confused
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