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For the married People..

I

imported_vr6

Platinum Member
Is the one you married the real love of your life? or is there someone else out there that you know is the love of your life but u know you can't have that person. And lets be real, don't tell me is some supermodel that you can't have..
 
Doesn't matter if you think someone else is the love of your life You are married and better make sure your wife becomes the love of your life.

Why dwell on the past or something you can't have it will only cause problems and probably lead you to a divorce.

What a dumb question to ask in the first place.:disgust:
 
wow, i am not married, but however, iam in a similar situation but just not married. I was just checking to see if there are others that have this problem.😉
 
I am very lucky. I have been married to my high school sweetheart for 8 years now. We had a rough time ealier this year (the 7 year itch thing is true!) but we were one of the lucky couples that made it through that (after a brief seperation). All is great now and we have built an even stronger relationship and commitment to one another.
 
Originally posted by: dhans1
I am very lucky. I have been married to my high school sweetheart for 8 years now. We had a rough time ealier this year (the 7 year itch thing is true!) but we were one of the lucky couples that made it through that (after a brief seperation). All is great now and we have built an even stronger relationship and commitment to one another.
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Congrats! That is wonderful!🙂
 
The thing is, The person i am talking about is Halfway across the country. We been friends before that person moved away about 5 years ago. I am in a relationship now with someone else for about 2.5 years. I am not able to be with that person in the forseeable future but we been close friends for a long time and i have feelings towards that person. Just want to see how other people handled their situation.😕
 
call me ignorant... but what is this 7 yr itch????

a more detailed explaination will do.. i know the basic thing.. married for 7 years.. possibly most number of divorces at 7 years. what more to it?
 
I don't know that my wife started out the love of my life, but she sure is now. I love her more everyday it seems like, even though we are both growing less "perfect" (never was to begin with so maybe it should say more imperfect) as we grow older together. It takes effort, but its just a matter of priorities.
 
Originally posted by: Kwan1
Is the one you married the real love of your life? or is there someone else out there that you know is the love of your life but u know you can't have that person. And lets be real, don't tell me is some supermodel that you can't have..
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Yes, I chose the right one 🙂
 
Originally posted by: The_good_guy
call me ignorant... but what is this 7 yr itch????

a more detailed explaination will do.. i know the basic thing.. married for 7 years.. possibly most number of divorces at 7 years. what more to it?
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There are a number of relationship books that detail an authors interpretation of the "stages of marriage". To get a detailed discription you would have to read one of those books, but after several stages (i.e. starts with the honeymoon stage, then a reality sets in stage, then usually an "I can deal with this and everything will be alright (self motivating)" stage (good communication amoung couples will solve this usually, but if not), then the "dissapointment" stage sets in (councelling is needed here) and this is where one or two of the partners will look for greener pastures (i.e. affair, divorce, seperation, etc.) This last stage happens to occur often in the 7 year time frame.
 
Thats a tough on for me to answer. There is another girl I think I would be happy with, she's really cool and all that. But, theres also ,y wife, who I love. Also, I wouldnt take half the sh!t I take from my wife from ANYONE else, so i have to answer, she may not be the love of my life, but she's the one for me. And remember, if you do choose to be with someone else, chances are it wont end up as you envision. The whole reality stage thing. Stick with what ya got, if its a good thing. 😉
 
Yes. I have been married for 17 years and have never once regretted it. There is not another person on the planet that knows and understands me the way my wife does. She is truly the love of my life.
 
Originally posted by: dhans1
Originally posted by: The_good_guy
call me ignorant... but what is this 7 yr itch????

a more detailed explaination will do.. i know the basic thing.. married for 7 years.. possibly most number of divorces at 7 years. what more to it?
Click to expand...

There are a number of relationship books that detail an authors interpretation of the "stages of marriage". To get a detailed discription you would have to read one of those books, but after several stages (i.e. starts with the honeymoon stage, then a reality sets in stage, then usually an "I can deal with this and everything will be alright (self motivating)" stage (good communication amoung couples will solve this usually, but if not), then the "dissapointment" stage sets in (councelling is needed here) and this is where one or two of the partners will look for greener pastures (i.e. affair, divorce, seperation, etc.) This last stage happens to occur often in the 7 year time frame.
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We just had 7 yr. anniversary (together about 10 years total) 🙂

 
Is my wife the love of my life? In some ways yes, and in some ways no. It's hard to explain but in certain aspects my wife is very fulfilling and a great partner, mostly relating to the physical part of life; in other aspects, more in the philisophical areas, she is not. This stems from her being more of a traditional mind than I am and her tendency towards religion.

That being said, although there are days when I regret being married altogether, there is no ther woman in the world that I would prefer being married to. After 7 years of marriage now, we've pretty much settled into a long-term loving relationship, well aware of what each of us brings into the marriage, and both of us are capable of filling in those few areas of our lives where the other partner is not able to participate.
 
Kwan1, I've been married X 2 & am currently married the the second woman who happens to be the "love of my life". Sounds like you are feeling sorry for yourself because you have strong feelings for someone else who's not available to you now.

When I met my 2nd wife (& I really love this woman 99.9% of the time), I had a live in, & I tried to date current wife (who I'd just met) and I lost her because she was very offended that I'd ask her out while I had a live in. I felt sorry for myself for several months & eventually ended the live in relationship. Then a few months later I hooked up with current wife (the one I gave up on) who also had just gotten out of a relationship.

I'll always think of ending my live in relationship as a leap of faith, because I didn't have a safety net relationship to fall back on (it sounds bad, but that's the way I was thinking), & I ended up with the love of my life, the woman who took my breath away when I first saw her & made me stutter for 6 months after we started dating...

The leap of faith worked for me, & I'd do it again. Don't settle or you'll regret it, and you'll grow to resent your current relationship because it reminds you of your own fear of rejection, change, etc...
 
Still, I think marriage is a scary thing.

Although I'm not married myself (and don't plan on it for a while!), I would think that it is reasonable to assume that the excitement of being in love with someone dies out after a short time of being married. What's left after that? I've heard a lot of people say that things get "better" at that point, but it seems to me they just end up "different".
 
yea...girl i really love is now married. im stuck with my gf....grrrrr...on top of that the chick that i once love has a hubby w/ my name
 
Originally posted by: lilcam
yea...girl i really love is now married. im stuck with my gf....grrrrr...on top of that the chick that i once love has a hubby w/ my name
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Wow. She married a guy named "Lilcam?"
 
Originally posted by: MichaelD
Originally posted by: lilcam
yea...girl i really love is now married. im stuck with my gf....grrrrr...on top of that the chick that i once love has a hubby w/ my name
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Wow. She married a guy named "Lilcam?"
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Ha...ha...:frown:
rolleye.gif
 
Originally posted by: Kwan1
The thing is, The person i am talking about is Halfway across the country. We been friends before that person moved away about 5 years ago. I am in a relationship now with someone else for about 2.5 years. I am not able to be with that person in the forseeable future but we been close friends for a long time and i have feelings towards that person. Just want to see how other people handled their situation.😕
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That's a difficult situation, in a way. But, in another way, it's not. You've been in your current relationship for 2.5 years. Hopefully by now you've gotten to know your current significant other (SO) pretty well. Without the faraway friend in the picture, would you consider marrying your current SO?

If so, why should that change just because you have another friend? I can't tell from your post whether you & this faraway friend are even keeping up with each other or not. And how good of friends were you? Do you know enough about this other person that you'd seriously consider marriage?

I think if you are in a good relationship, there's no use in breaking it up for some old friend who might not even be available or interested in you. Having said that - keep the faraway friend as a good friend, but focus your love on your current SO, and don't let yourself get distracted by "what might have been..."



 
Originally posted by: Kwan1
Is the one you married the real love of your life? or is there someone else out there that you know is the love of your life but u know you can't have that person. And lets be real, don't tell me is some supermodel that you can't have..
Click to expand...

Today is the 10th anniversary of my wedding to my first and only love.

I never dated anyone else. I met my wife the second quarter of my Senior year of High School.

IMO....

If you would not die the most horrible death you could imagine to prevent anything from happening to your spouse, move on until you find that person.

amish
 
Originally posted by: Electric Amish
Originally posted by: Kwan1
Is the one you married the real love of your life? or is there someone else out there that you know is the love of your life but u know you can't have that person. And lets be real, don't tell me is some supermodel that you can't have..
Click to expand...

Today is the 10th anniversary of my wedding to my first and only love.

I never dated anyone else. I met my wife the second quarter of my Senior year of High School.

IMO....

If you would not die the most horrible death you could imagine to prevent anything from happening to your spouse, move on until you find that person.

amish
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Congrats, Amish and Mrs. Amish 😀
 
If you once went out with someone you had an addictive sort of relationship with and thought they were the one no matter how badly the relationship went, I think it's better if that relationsip blows up in a spectacular finale before you start dating someone else.

There has to be real closure in the past for you to start something new with someone else.

Oh, an my wife is 100% the best woman I ever could have married.
 
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