For $h!ts and giggles, what's your favourite quote?

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U

Untamo

Banned
Mar 25, 2000
1,975
0
0
Confuscious say...

...better for girl to meet boy in park...
...man who go to bed with itchy but...
...man who stand on toilet...

What else did he say :)

 
R

Rudee

Lifer
Apr 23, 2000
11,218
2
76
The U.S Census bureau visits Christopher Walkin apartment. Taken from SNL's The Best of Tim Meadows episode.

Cencus Bureau: How many people live in this residence?
Christopher Walkin: Oh boy, good question. I'm bad with numbers. Maybe 80.
Cencus Bureau: 80 people live in this apartment????
Christopher Walkin: Seems high doesn't it. Not 80. How about 4?
Christopher Walkin: I'm so bad at guestimating.
Cencus Bureau: Take your time and count.
Christopher Walkin: Ok, there's me, my wife, our plants, we have some candy bars.
Cencus Bureau: Well, we don't count candy bars or plants.
Christopher Walkin: Ok, then there's just the two of us.

 
R

Rudee

Lifer
Apr 23, 2000
11,218
2
76
More from the same skit...

Cencus Bureau: Are you currently employed?
Christopher Walkin: Yes, part of the time.
Cencus Bureau: Part time? How many days of the week?
Christopher Walkin: Everyday. But just part of the day, from 9 to 5.
Cencus Bureau: So you work a full day then?
Christopher Walkin: I wouldn't say that. There are huge chunks of time at night where I'm just asleep, for hours - it's ridiculous!
 
B

Budman

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
10,980
0
0
Here's a few.



Opinions are like a$$holes,everybody's got one & they all stink.


Man who goes to bed with itchy a$$,wakes up with stinky finger

:)
 
D

djk

Member
Aug 22, 2000
143
0
0
"Are you a Pedophile?"

"HOLY iUCK!!! THATS A BIG WORD FOR AN 8 YEAR OLD!!"
 
W

Warrenton

Banned
Aug 7, 2000
777
0
0
when all is said and all has come undone
when the sun, the moon and stars grow dark
before the days of youth are left in vain
before the dust reclaims its own again

Breathe on me
Breathe oh Breath of God
Breathe on me
'til my heart is new
Breath on me

Breathe on me
Breathe oh Breath of Life
Breathe on me
'till I'm resting in you
Breathe on me

when all is said and all has come undone
restore the promise i made when I was young
now unto Him who can keep us from falling
and present us faultless before is glory

Breathe on me
Breathe oh Breath of God
Breathe on me
'til my heart is new
Breath on me
Breathe oh Breath of Life
Breathe on me
'till I'm resting in you
 
SUOrangeman

SUOrangeman

Diamond Member
Oct 12, 1999
8,361
0
0
Heard this last week:

I am drinking from my saucer, because my cup has runneth over.

Marinate on that one for a little while.

-SUO
 
C

convex

Banned
May 24, 2000
2,227
0
0
the good man was arrested and went to jail while he was mayor, then after he got out he was re-elected to mayor...sheesh, I wonder if the tell the kids about marion barry in DARE classes
 
B

Buddha Bart

Diamond Member
Oct 11, 1999
3,064
0
0
Think of the average moron, then think that half the people in the world are DUMBER than that.

George Carlin

bart
 
N

NikPreviousAcct

No Lifer
Aug 15, 2000
52,763
1
0
the title is now on my list. :)

"If you don't like the way I drive, get off the sidewalk."
"Stop honking, I'm reloading."
"...and now we're, like, gonna kill you. --and we're TOTALLY programmed to do it too, dude!"









Metallica{/b] -- "Ronnie"
 
OrByte

OrByte

Diamond Member
Jul 21, 2000
9,303
144
106
Hey FFM!

Just to show you what a moron Bob Knight is I am gonna post something he said to Connie Chung that I saw this morning:

In an iterview with Connie Chung, who asked how he handles stress, Knight said, "I think that if rape is inevitable, relax and enjoy it."


Nice buddy.... real nice.
 
T

Tateman1

Senior member
Mar 19, 2000
272
0
0
I've always liked

"The angle of the dangle is directly proportional to the heat of the meat"

--from Beavis and Butthead.
 
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