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For guys: If you were a girl what would be the first thing you would do to yourself?

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Touch my boobies and vagina.. all productivity in my life would cease to exist.. prolly be a shutin for the next few months
This is assuming im smoking hot of course
 
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Become a lesbian. Then fondle my boobs in a hot steamy bath for an hour. I'd also cry to get out of speeding tickets.
 
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