- Feb 15, 2000
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For all the grammar nazi's.
- Thread starter Demon-Xanth
- Start date
shortylickens
No Lifer
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Haha, I've seen this before, but for some reason, I found numbers 7 and 19 particularly funny just now...
- Feb 15, 2000
- 20,551
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BoomerD
No Lifer
- Feb 26, 2006
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24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn?t.
20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn?t.
- Oct 10, 1999
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24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
This made me think of Homer Simpson
This made me think of Homer Simpson
Atomic Playboy
Lifer
- Feb 6, 2007
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I've seen the list before, but it's always amusing. The weirdest shit is that I used analogies that were virtually identical to these in papers in high school, with minor details changed (like in number 9 I used Buick instead of bowling ball, and that whole bit was just ripping off Hitchhiker's Guide where Douglas Adams says the spaceship hovered in air exactly the way a brick doesn't). Fun stuff though.
"The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease." Holy crap, who comes up with this.
"The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant." :shocked:
"The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant." :shocked:
middlehead
Diamond Member
- Jul 11, 2004
- 4,573
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I hate to burst anyone's bubble, but those analogies were not culled from "student essays" and "collected by high school English teachers". They were entries in a long running weekly contest known as "The Style Invitational" that began in 1993 in the Style section of the Sunday edition of The Washington Post. Those particular analogies (along with others not appearing on that list) were published in March 1999 during Week 310:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/...R2007031600738_pf.html
If you like one of those analogies, you can give proper attribution to the original author if you bother to look it up. But I guess it's just more "cool" to think that (unnamed) high school teachers actually culled them from genuine (anonymous) student essays. Or maybe some congenital liar thought it would be cool to start a bogus rumor. Or someone received a list but didn't know where it came from so he or she made up an origin that sounded "plausible" (i.e., pulled it out of their ass). Or some nut job made it up and actually believes it. In any case, there's no sense in repeating the BS.
Some of the people who left comments on Judy Rose's blog pointed out that the analogies were in fact originally published in The Washington Post. (Other commentators were firmly "convinced" that they all originated in "famous novels", or all of them were written by a single person such as Jack Handey, on the basis of no evidence whatsoever.) Judy Rose responded by saying, "I have no idea where they really come from. I don?t care. I just cared that they made me laugh, and hoped they would do the same for you." That's a pretty strange attitude towards proper attribution and copyright laws for someone who has a blog called "Writing English - The International Language of Business".
And Last: Joe was frustrated, like a man who thought his claim to fame was occasional appearances in a weekly humor contest, but in fact is known to millions as a stupid high school student who writes unintentionally humorous bad analogies. (Joseph Romm, Washington)
On a related note, I'm a fan of the long running Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, which was inspired by the opening line to Edward George Bulwer-Lytton's infamous novel, Paul Clifford (1830). You've probably seen the first part of the line many, many times: "It was a dark and stormy night..." The point of the contest is to make up an opening line for the (hypothetically) most horrid/insipid/ridiculous novel imaginable. The winners are very, very funny:
http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/
http://www.washingtonpost.com/...R2007031600738_pf.html
If you like one of those analogies, you can give proper attribution to the original author if you bother to look it up. But I guess it's just more "cool" to think that (unnamed) high school teachers actually culled them from genuine (anonymous) student essays. Or maybe some congenital liar thought it would be cool to start a bogus rumor. Or someone received a list but didn't know where it came from so he or she made up an origin that sounded "plausible" (i.e., pulled it out of their ass). Or some nut job made it up and actually believes it. In any case, there's no sense in repeating the BS.
Some of the people who left comments on Judy Rose's blog pointed out that the analogies were in fact originally published in The Washington Post. (Other commentators were firmly "convinced" that they all originated in "famous novels", or all of them were written by a single person such as Jack Handey, on the basis of no evidence whatsoever.) Judy Rose responded by saying, "I have no idea where they really come from. I don?t care. I just cared that they made me laugh, and hoped they would do the same for you." That's a pretty strange attitude towards proper attribution and copyright laws for someone who has a blog called "Writing English - The International Language of Business".
And Last: Joe was frustrated, like a man who thought his claim to fame was occasional appearances in a weekly humor contest, but in fact is known to millions as a stupid high school student who writes unintentionally humorous bad analogies. (Joseph Romm, Washington)
On a related note, I'm a fan of the long running Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, which was inspired by the opening line to Edward George Bulwer-Lytton's infamous novel, Paul Clifford (1830). You've probably seen the first part of the line many, many times: "It was a dark and stormy night..." The point of the contest is to make up an opening line for the (hypothetically) most horrid/insipid/ridiculous novel imaginable. The winners are very, very funny:
http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/
GodlessAstronomer
Lifer
- Oct 27, 2007
- 17,009
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