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Foot meet mouth...

scott916

scott916

Platinum Member
I lived next to the same family for many years, and watched all of their kids (who were about 5-10 years younger than I was) grow up. The oldest went off to the navy, got pregnant, and came back to visit. I hadn't seen her for well over a year, and had no idea how much weight she had gained before and during the pregnancy.

She came home on leave one day was as far as I knew still pregnant. She was still really big, so I asked her when she was due. "Oh, I lost it almost a month ago". If only I had a snickers to stuff in my mouth at THAT moment... I just mumbled a terribly contrived 'sorry' and skee-fuckin-daddled. I think she understood, but man. 🙂

 
Originally posted by: buck
I learned long ago to never, ever, ask a woman if she is pregnant/when is due date.
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I avoid the topic of pregnancy all together with all women.

Unless said woman is being a b*tch, and I feel like being an asshole 😛
 
Originally posted by: buck
I learned long ago to never, ever, ask a woman if she is pregnant/when is due date.
Click to expand...

Yup. I never, ever ask a woman about being pregnant or when she's due. Even if she's 9 months and obviously about to pop, I NEVER ask. Maybe I'm anti-social but I've heard too many stories like this, you don't konw if the child she is carrying is known stillborn, if she's fat, if she has a tumor. I guess the message is, just don't ask 🙂
 
Originally posted by: buck
I learned long ago to never, ever, ask a woman if she is pregnant/when is due date.
Click to expand...

This gives me an idea... a youtube video on what would happen if you ask random women when they are due. 😛
 
Originally posted by: darkxshade
Originally posted by: buck
I learned long ago to never, ever, ask a woman if she is pregnant/when is due date.
Click to expand...

This gives me an idea... a youtube video on what would happen if you ask random women when they are due. 😛
Click to expand...

I have a feeling by the 2nd women the guy would need to have surgery after being kicked hard in the balls.
 
women allow themselves to get fat during pregnancy. society as a whole also accepts this. when a woman is pregnant, she is not eating for two.
 
Originally posted by: sutahz
women allow themselves to get fat during pregnancy. society as a whole also accepts this. when a woman is pregnant, she is not eating for two.
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Hey... who cares how fat they become since when pregnant their breasts increase in size and they are horny as hell.
 
Originally posted by: Newbian
Originally posted by: sutahz
women allow themselves to get fat during pregnancy. society as a whole also accepts this. when a woman is pregnant, she is not eating for two.
Click to expand...

Hey... who cares how fat they become since when pregnant their breasts increase in size and they are horny as hell.
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Yeah but their nipples are gross.
 
I said something about a "red-headed step child". And that person said..."hey, my best friend is a red-headed step child".

Ooops.
 
Originally posted by: barfo
Originally posted by: Newbian
Originally posted by: sutahz
women allow themselves to get fat during pregnancy. society as a whole also accepts this. when a woman is pregnant, she is not eating for two.
Click to expand...

Hey... who cares how fat they become since when pregnant their breasts increase in size and they are horny as hell.
Click to expand...

Yeah but their nipples are gross.
Click to expand...

Bastard I spilled my coffee :laugh:
 
I don't care if it's your own wife that you knocked up, you're in the delivery room, she's fully dilated and you can actually see a baby coming out of her, you never, ever, ever assume a woman is pregnant. Ever.
 
Originally posted by: scott916
I lived next to the same family for many years, and watched all of their kids (who were about 5-10 years younger than I was) grow up. The oldest went off to the navy, got pregnant, and came back to visit. I hadn't seen her for well over a year, and had no idea how much weight she had gained before and during the pregnancy.

She came home on leave one day was as far as I knew still pregnant. She was still really big, so I asked her when she was due. "Oh, I lost it almost a month ago". If only I had a snickers to stuff in my mouth at THAT moment... I just mumbled a terribly contrived 'sorry' and skee-fuckin-daddled. I think she understood, but man. 🙂
Click to expand...

lol have a similar one, about 5 months ago I'm playing poker at a friends house, his roomate who was pregnant was about to have the baby, she said he bet her it would be that night. I talked to him the next morning and he said "she didn't have it yet" I go back to play poker the following night not knowing she had the baby the night before and was already home.

I glanced at her stomach "so you still haven't had the baby yet huh?"
"what? I had it last night..."
"ohh really? you look the same to me"
she frowned. I had meant to say that even when I was there a few nights before it was hard for me to even tell she was pregnant. She was pretty skinny for a preggy chick, I was trying to complimenting her, but it failed bad. She took it totally the wrong way, and looking back I see how my wording was pretty poor. If I had a Twix I would have crammed the whole thing in my mouth lol.
 
A few years ago, I was at my sister's looking at her computer. Apparently her then boyfriend said she needed to take it to the shop because it had a bad hard drive. I ran a drive fitness test on it and it passed, then said that "Mike" was dumb as a rock and had no idea WTF he was talking about.

Well, about the time I finished my sentence I realized that Mike had been standing right behind me for pretty much the whole time. :shocked:
 
Originally written by: Dave Barry
You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
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Words to live by.
 
Originally posted by: compuwiz1
A few years ago, I was at my sister's looking at her computer. Apparently her then boyfriend said she needed to take it to the shop because it had a bad hard drive. I ran a drive fitness test on it and it passed, then said that "Mike" was dumb as a rock and had no idea WTF he was talking about.

Well, about the time I finished my sentence I realized that Mike had been standing right behind me for pretty much the whole time. :shocked:
Click to expand...

was your sister pregnant then?
 
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