And Queen Victoria became Empress of India. She never even fucking went there, you know?
She was one of our more frumpy queens… they're all frumpy, aren't they? Because it's a bad idea when cousins marry! Bottom of the gene pool, you know. You'rejust scraping the barrel there, “We've haven't got enough for any more of you royals there, sorry.” First rule of genetics: spread the genes apart! But the royals are just obsessed with, "Are you a royal family? Are you a royal member? Well, then you can marry me ‘cause you're same gene pool, and our IQs will go down the toilet.” Fantastic! That's why there's no crazy royals, they're all kind of, "Hello! Hello, what do you do? You're a plumber! What on Earth is that?"