Step 1.  Insert index and middle finger into center of TP roll.
Step 2.  Spread index and middle finger apart to stabilize the roll.
Step 3.  Grab the end of the toilet paper hanging from the roll with the index and middle finger of your opposite hand.
Step 4.  Orbit the roll around your opposite hand until a sufficient amount of TP has been wrapped around it.
Step 5.  Break the paper from the roll.
Step 6.  Remove the wrapped TP from your hand.  If done correctly, it should be in a nice folded sheet.
Step 7.  Whipe ass.  Front to back.
Repeat steps 1-7 until no excrement is left on the folded TP sheet after whiping.
Step 8.  Whipe with a moist-whipe once or twice for good measure.