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FML... Mowing the lawn sucks balls

Don't get me started on lawn mowing. I've finally decided once I finish my car payments, I'm hiring a service. Twenty years of taking care of something I don't care about is enough.
 
nerp

nerp

Diamond Member
Just drive a sign in the middle of the yard, paint "ornamental grasses, do not cut" on it, crack open a beer. Done.
 
Hmm, do you think a lawn service would be willing to come by once a month, just often enough to keep the city from writing me up? I might have to ask the neighbor's people next time they're over there...
 
Originally posted by: nakedfrog
Hmm, do you think a lawn service would be willing to come by once a month, just often enough to keep the city from writing me up? I might have to ask the neighbor's people next time they're over there...
Click to expand...

The lawn service folks around here require a once a week visit... EVEN IN THE WINTER.

My grass doesn't grow at all during the winter months here but they still require you pay them. They do come for 15 minutes and tidy up but that is about it.
 
Originally posted by: FP
Originally posted by: nakedfrog
Hmm, do you think a lawn service would be willing to come by once a month, just often enough to keep the city from writing me up? I might have to ask the neighbor's people next time they're over there...
Click to expand...

The lawn service folks around here require a once a week visit... EVEN IN THE WINTER.

My grass doesn't grow at all during the winter months here but they still require you pay them. They do come for 15 minutes and tidy up but that is about it.
Click to expand...

Hopefully it's different here since we have a real winter, with snow and stuff. I guess I could offer them to either come once a month and get a little money, or not at all and get no money.
 
Plant corn, and make it up to the neighbors by having a harvest festival in the fall :^D

I F'n hate mowing the lawn too. It's the worst household task I have.
 
Originally posted by: nakedfrog
Originally posted by: FP
Originally posted by: nakedfrog
Hmm, do you think a lawn service would be willing to come by once a month, just often enough to keep the city from writing me up? I might have to ask the neighbor's people next time they're over there...
Click to expand...

The lawn service folks around here require a once a week visit... EVEN IN THE WINTER.

My grass doesn't grow at all during the winter months here but they still require you pay them. They do come for 15 minutes and tidy up but that is about it.
Click to expand...

Hopefully it's different here since we have a real winter, with snow and stuff. I guess I could offer them to either come once a month and get a little money, or not at all and get no money.
Click to expand...

In areas with snow lawn services usually convert to snow removal in the winter months.
 
Originally posted by: lxskllr
Plant corn, and make it up to the neighbors by having a harvest festival in the fall :^D

I F'n hate mowing the lawn too. It's the worst household task I have.
Click to expand...

Hm, we DO have a corn festival every September...
 
Originally posted by: nakedfrog
Originally posted by: lxskllr
Plant corn, and make it up to the neighbors by having a harvest festival in the fall :^D

I F'n hate mowing the lawn too. It's the worst household task I have.
Click to expand...

Hm, we DO have a corn festival every September...
Click to expand...

If you hate mowing, wait until it's tilling/rock removal/soil enrichment/ploughing/sowing/irrigation time. Ugh.

But a veggie garden is a way to remove lawn space. Look into it. Gardening changed my life.
 
Originally posted by: FP
Mower seized up. Blades are dull. Grass is growing wildly.

FML.
Click to expand...

Sorry to hear of your woes. However...

It sounds to me like:

a. You don't cut the grass often enough, so the shit is like 3 feet tall and all over the place
b. You don't maintain your yard equipment at all; preventive maintenance is key
c. Dull blades and a seized motor are signs of; blade never been sharpened so it doesn't cut and creates drag on a motor that's never had the oil changed....*BOOM* <--your mower

Oh, how I wish I had a yard to cut!! I've lived in apartments most of my life; I co-roomed a few houses over the years for short periods of time and was glad to cut the grass/paint house numbers on curb and trash cans, etc.

Apartment living SUCKS SWEATY MOOSE BALLS.

At least is your mower dies you can kick the shit out of it, drink a beer and wake up to your own mess/situation. In an apartment you have to put up with the noisy neighbors, the silent (but always bitching) neighbors, the owner of the apt, the landlord, the managing agent, etc. And you can't punch the living shit out of any of them without getting into some trouble. In a HOUSE...YOUR HOUSE....Oh, you own it! Punch the banker!!! He won't care b/c he wants you to pay the mortage!!! Everyone else, you can just shoot b/c they're on your property. I want a house.
 
Mowing the lawn is a 15 minute job max if you keep your shit maintained. Even the largest lawn shouldn't take more than 30 minutes unless you live on mad acreage.
 
Originally posted by: DayLaPaul
Mowing the lawn is a 15 minute job max if you keep your shit maintained. Even the largest lawn shouldn't take more than 30 minutes unless you live on mad acreage.
Click to expand...

:^D :^D :^D

30 minutes? I have slightly less than an acre, and it takes 1 hour minimum if I'm particularly sloppy. I have a ton of trees, and some tedious hills, so it's a constant obstacle course.
 
Just finished mowing 2 acres with a smallish (42") mower. Weather is nice - only 84F with a nice breeze.

Allergies are still a bitch, however.
 
Originally posted by: TreyRandom
Not having a lawn to mow sucks balls even worse. Count your blessings.
Click to expand...

Hmmm, negative. I'd rather have no lawn than have a lawn to maintain.

But you make a valid point.

I would set it up such that the front lawn is rinky dinky slinky shit.

But the back lawn might be acceptable IFF it's humongous. I'm talking 20, 30 yards. Then it's worth taking care of because you can use it for a variety of things.

Otherwise, just go to a park.
 
Originally posted by: FP
Originally posted by: nakedfrog
Hmm, do you think a lawn service would be willing to come by once a month, just often enough to keep the city from writing me up? I might have to ask the neighbor's people next time they're over there...
Click to expand...

The lawn service folks around here require a once a week visit... EVEN IN THE WINTER.

My grass doesn't grow at all during the winter months here but they still require you pay them. They do come for 15 minutes and tidy up but that is about it.
Click to expand...

LOL wtf do they have lawnmowers with snow blowers on them or something? Who mows their lawn in the winter?

When I have my own house I'll probably end up getting a company to do it. It's really worth the money when you consider that about 4 hours per week is spent mowing the lawn.

Right now that I'm at home my parents insist that it has to be done by us (I even offered to pay someone to do it) so I end up doing it. Goes better now that I bought a mulcher though. The mowing part is not bad, it's the stopping every 5 minutes and bagging part that's tedious. When I use the mulcher at least I can do larger sections without stopping. I only stop to take a 2 minute break and a drink of water then go at it again. It used to take 4 hours to mow our lawn, now it only takes about 1 and a half.
 
Originally posted by: spidey07
Have Dr.Pizza loan you some goats once a week. Problem solved.
Click to expand...

I've given serious consideration to pygmy goats. They're pretty cool anyway, but I'm not sure how zoning would treat them.
 
Originally posted by: lxskllr
Originally posted by: DayLaPaul
Mowing the lawn is a 15 minute job max if you keep your shit maintained. Even the largest lawn shouldn't take more than 30 minutes unless you live on mad acreage.
Click to expand...

:^D :^D :^D

30 minutes? I have slightly less than an acre, and it takes 1 hour minimum if I'm particularly sloppy. I have a ton of trees, and some tedious hills, so it's a constant obstacle course.
Click to expand...

I would consider slightly less than an acre a fair amount of land. For most people in tract homes with their quarter acre lots (if that), they have no reason to complain.
 
I need a third car garage just so on weekends, I'll wait until one of the sucker neighbors starts up his push mower. I'll press a button and as the garage goes up, I'll crack open a beer, get on my riding mower and just cruise around for a bit.

 
Originally posted by: TreyRandom
Not having a lawn to mow sucks balls even worse. Count your blessings.
Click to expand...

I disagree. Not having to mow a lawn or do any landscaping is pretty awesome. If I want to go see some foliage/grass I'll go to one of the parks near me.
 
Originally posted by: KLin
Don't you wish your lawn was emo so it would cut itself?





/old joke
Click to expand...

but still funny to me


the city sent me a letter yesterday to cut my lawn. there is a 9" law in my town, and its been over that for about 4 months now... mower broke in december, both weed eaters are busted too. i can rebuild a chevy 350 but i cant keep a lawn mower running, kind of pathetic. i just dont care much for a lawn that is harder than concrete and wont grow grass at all.
 
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