Floating: It's NOT Sex!

[Destiny]

Then she's a pincher.

Thanks for the clarification... always wonder what to call that action... :biggrin::thumbsup:

 

[dennilfloss]

I just coined that term.

 

[davmat787]

"The link" again: http://cougarguard.com/forum/showthread.php?t=11747

To be clear: that floating is an actual, real life practice amongst some Mormons. That clear enough for you?

Well, what you quoted in the OP states floating is standard practice for millions of mormons. What you link to on the cougarboard, is some third hand info stating that "floating" is a new thing according to a bishop. That post does not state if this is a new thing amongst his flock or just some new thing in general.

Did you actually read the whole thread you linked to, where virtually everyone states this is not a mormon thing at all, with very few having actually heard of it? Do you really think mormons are going to skip regular intercourse and go to anal sex as your OP quote states? That seems like quite the stretch (pun intended) to me.

In short, if you read the entire thread, OBJECTIVELY, that you linked to, I don't see how any rational person could say that this is a common practice among Mormons. Can you?

Do you have any links of actual Mormons stating they use this practice? I have not found any at all, except for the jokester in that thread who said floating==disinterested sex with his wife, lol.

For the record, I am not mormon, or religious at all. I just found your assertion that this is common practice to be well... BS for lack of a better term. I think this is what you may call a truthiness.

But hey, as long as this can be spread around among the faithful, who cares right? Liberals only care about facts, and only conservatives live in an alternate reality. This time it seems like it is reversed.

Honestly, I don't know why your OP bugged me to the point of reading that whole thread, it just seems unfair to think this practice is common among mormons to the point it is associated with them as a whole.

On a side note, did you, or anyone else, watch that Brian Williams Rock Center special on Mormons in America that was on earlier this week?

 

[davmat787]

To be clear: that floating is an actual, real life practice amongst some Mormons. That clear enough for you?

The very first listing.

That very first listing is just some random guys musings on a skiing forum. He cites no first hand knowledge, he just starts making all these wild ass claims about mormons. You really believe this guys post on over what mormons themselves are saying on that cougar forum thread?

I thought posting this type of garbage would be above you, will have to remember this next time you ream someone for posting similar garbage about muslims because they read it on jihadwatch.

If its on the internet, it has to be true right? lol.

 

[pelov]

Yes, davmat787, the people who believe that a crazy lunatic who can read tablets that no one else can see and stated that the true holy land is the United States of America, won't do something this stupid. Then there's the magical underwear and a prophet who was a criminal nymphomaniac and a con man.

 

[z1ggy]

So, no worries, virgins! If Romney becomes President, he won't fuck us, he'll just stick it in and never, ever move.

Or just fuck us all...in the ass.

 

[Linflas]

Well, what you quoted in the OP states floating is standard practice for millions of mormons. What you link to on the cougarboard, is some third hand info stating that "floating" is a new thing according to a bishop. That post does not state if this is a new thing amongst his flock or just some new thing in general.

Did you actually read the whole thread you linked to, where virtually everyone states this is not a mormon thing at all, with very few having actually heard of it? Do you really think mormons are going to skip regular intercourse and go to anal sex as your OP quote states? That seems like quite the stretch (pun intended) to me.

In short, if you read the entire thread, OBJECTIVELY, that you linked to, I don't see how any rational person could say that this is a common practice among Mormons. Can you?

Do you have any links of actual Mormons stating they use this practice? I have not found any at all, except for the jokester in that thread who said floating==disinterested sex with his wife, lol.

For the record, I am not mormon, or religious at all. I just found your assertion that this is common practice to be well... BS for lack of a better term. I think this is what you may call a truthiness.

But hey, as long as this can be spread around among the faithful, who cares right? Liberals only care about facts, and only conservatives live in an alternate reality. This time it seems like it is reversed.

Honestly, I don't know why your OP bugged me to the point of reading that whole thread, it just seems unfair to think this practice is common among mormons to the point it is associated with them as a whole.

On a side note, did you, or anyone else, watch that Brian Williams Rock Center special on Mormons in America that was on earlier this week?

I'm sure you already know the answer to the bolded. Remember the whole goal this year is to deflect, change the subject, and pretty much talk about anything other than the record of the previous 4 years. If it requires slandering entire groups and religions based on the actions of the fringe then so be it.

 

[lupi]

I don't know, seems to be more of the OT crowd mocking a stupid topic.

 

[rasczak]

what ever floats yer boat.

 

[Fausto]

I don't know, seems to be more of the OT crowd mocking a stupid topic.

Mormons are fucking crazy. We love crazy.

 

[kia75]

I always pop the tab on my soda and drop it in. No big deal, I'm not quite certain where I picked up that habit, but I always do it.

While I was in high school the local newspaper ran an article on "tabbing". Basically, according to the newspaper kids in college were extremely promiscuous (true) and would choose partners by putting their tab into another person's soda (untrue).

My mother became angry with me and I wasn't allowed to drink canned soda until I graduated. The thing is, other then that single newspaper story I've never heard of the practice of tabbing. I've been to college campuses and have never heard of this practice. I'm certain you guys have never heard of this either. Probably just rumor-mongering from the local conservative newspaper.

"Floating" sounds too much like "tabbing" to me.

 

[highland145]

I always pop the tab on my soda and drop it in. No big deal, I'm not quite certain where I picked up that habit, but I always do it.

While I was in high school the local newspaper ran an article on "tabbing". Basically, according to the newspaper kids in college were extremely promiscuous (true) and would choose partners by putting their tab into another person's soda (untrue).

My mother became angry with me and I wasn't allowed to drink canned soda until I graduated. The thing is, other then that single newspaper story I've never heard of the practice of tabbing. I've been to college campuses and have never heard of this practice. I'm certain you guys have never heard of this either. Probably just rumor-mongering from the local conservative newspaper.

"Floating" sounds too much like "tabbing" to me.

SNAP.....caps

 

[William Gaatjes]

"The link" again: http://cougarguard.com/forum/showthread.php?t=11747

To be clear: that floating is an actual, real life practice amongst some Mormons. That clear enough for you?



The very first listing.





"My penor is in her cooch but it's not sex 'cause I'm not thrusting and we're both reading Mormon by-laws, so we're both still virgins!"

^^^ Floating is jaw-dropping, monumentally weird, transparently obvious hypocrisy fueled by religion.

But the P&N Patrol gets all butthurt and focuses instead on my throwaway joke about Romney. So defensive, so off the main point! Must have struck a nerve!

I learned a lot about mormons today...
Besides the creative way of finding loop "holes" :whiste: in their religious laws about chastitty... Some also have a lot of humor :

Some women have been floating for years and didn't know it. Their husbands just call it a lack of passion and effort.

:biggrin:

 

[William Gaatjes]

This one is even more creative :

That was all new information for me as well. I'm still single and dating and hear the "stay moral, go oral" line every now and again, but "floating" is a new one.

:biggrin::biggrin::biggrin:

 

[William Gaatjes]

HAW !

Floating at my age can easily lead to a case of "I've fallen and I can't get up".

:biggrin::biggrin::biggrin:

 

[lothar]

try floating. I'm a Mormon and I personally am not a virgin. A lot of girls at BYU are secret sluts and they "float". Its when the guy sweet talks the girl into let him stick his thing in her thing and just lay there and once you have done that its easy as pie to convince her to take things to the next level. I swear by this.. im not saying to take advantage of her and you need to be careful. just respect how she feels once you try this out. search floating.. please dont cahstize me over this. im simply trying to help the man use his agency. remember its up to you. sex isnt everything. Don't end it. We are advised to only do light kissing and minimal touching. It is worth it to wait. Be prepared to convert to the Church if you are serious about marrying her. We believe families can be together forever as long as you are married in a Temple. However ABSOLUTLEY NO non members can enter. The Temples are magnificent and holy places. I promise you that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is true and that what is done in the Temples are the most sacred things you can do on Earth. I'm not trying to convert you however I want you to realize the importance of what may appear to be minor decisions now. Just because I'm a Mormon doesn't mean I can't have fun. There are some members that make things too peachy and obsess over things like General Conference. While they are important, you can still live normally.
Source(s):
16 year old Mormon that has floated and got things rolling from there. The secret to a womans pants is all in your head. trust me. but dont be obvious. just remember my advice.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20091027195839AApIze5

 

[Linflas]

The humor? The sheer wackiness? The underlying point that the more your religion tries to curb natural human impulses, the weirder and more hypocritical things will get?

YES. :biggrin:

All the Abrahamic religions disapprove of sex outside marriage so what exactly makes the Mormons different from Catholics, Baptists, Methodists, Anglicans, Muslims, Jews etc? Do you really think these kids are the first to think they found a trick to avoid what is frowned upon by their religion or that this thinking is restricted to those of the Mormon faith?

 

[lothar]

Maybe you haven't been on the BYU campus lately, or maybe you have and just weren't considered "float worthy?"

When your religion tries to impose "no sex before marriage" in the midst of the general 21st Century American culture, then really weird pressure leaks are bound to spring up . . . like anal sex being considered not sex, or that practice of some young Mormons going to Vegas, getting married, fucking for three days, and then getting a quick annulment as another poster pointed out.

Look what happened to the Catholic Church denying regular sex to their priests in this society. Hypocrisy and ugliness, that's what.

I'm not trying to pick on Mormons, but this practice exists, and it is the unfortunate but almost inevitable result of trying to prevent sex before marriage.

The bigger the front, the bigger the back.



The truth is not inherently inflammatory, it's just the truth.




The truth is not BS, it's just the truth.

Will you accept a message board full of Mormon BYU students and grads as a source? "Wade" through this, then:

http://cougarguard.com/forum/showthread.php?t=11747

How is imposing "no sex before marriage" a bad thing?
Why should anyone care about 21st century American culture?

So your solution would be to just let everything leak instead of trying to patch it up?
Can you provide information from an authoritative figure like a bishop or someone else in the Mormon church that mentioned that they(the church) don't consider floating or anal to be sex? Not sure how you can consider floating or anal sex to be fueled by religion given none of the authoritative figures agree with the practice.

Just because a few college kiddies and teenagers consider sticking their penor in a cooch without thrusting to not be sex doesn't mean it's a "common" Mormon practice or that it's "fueled" by religion.
These are just some rebellious kids trying something different and making up stupid excuses(that it's not sex) to try to limit their damage.

 

[radhak]

The truth is not inherently inflammatory, it's just the truth.

The truth is not BS, it's just the truth.

Both true statements, but not in your context.

Repeating something ad-nauseum does not make it true.

If you think internet fora are a source of authentic information of any sort, you live online a lot. Davmat has already mentioned jihadwatch - do you accept that as the authentic muslim word?

If you started this thread to laugh as a made-up joke at all Mormons (or even Mitt Romney specifically), I could eke out a s******, maybe.

If you want to establish this as a reference point for others to link to, as proof for their claims of how Mormons lead their lives, I can only repeat, you must live online a lot.

 

[William Gaatjes]

It keeps getting funnier :

Although I'm not a Bishop, I play one on TV. I would go with floating as the more serious sin. I would rank the various acts of frustrated sexuality on the following scale (descending order):

- Full blown intercourse/floating (they are equivalent in my opinion - I believe the distinction of "friction" vs. "no friction" is irrelevant and is something only a weasel that was trying to pseudo-repent would come up with)
- Oral
- Hand jobs
- Levi lovin'
- Feeling her up ("petting" as SWK would call it)

What in heavens name is "Levi lovin" ?
Is that the same as "log jamming" ?

The first one sounds like a Jewish porn movie.
And the second one as porn movie with a lumberjack set /script.

:biggrin:

 

[pelov]

Btw, I will be voting Obama, but not because Mitt is Mormon, and definitely not because of such riffs you posted.

I suppose that's one way to broadcast your stupidity.

Hint: Thread had nothing to do with the upcoming election.

On another related topic, can we just start banning P&N'ers outright? Please?

 

[ElFenix]

i've met several technical virgins. none were mormon.

unsubstantiated random message board post is unsubstantiated.

 

[Perknose]

All the Abrahamic religions disapprove of sex outside marriage so what exactly makes the Mormons different from Catholics, Baptists, Methodists, Anglicans, Muslims, Jews etc?

Larry Wilmore is Catholic. What he said to the Mormons in his audience is that his religion and theirs share a lot of the same views on sex, but that Mormons as a whole seem to take it all a LOT more seriously.

Do you really think these kids are the first to think they found a trick to avoid what is frowned upon by their religion or that this thinking is restricted to those of the Mormon faith?

No, I don't. However, I haven't as yet come across any Roman Catholic kids sticking their penor into cooch and claiming they're still virgins and what they did isn't sex.

So, for me, this is a whole new level of crazy.

Like I said, "The bigger the front, the bigger the back."

 

[sixone]

I'm sure you already know the answer to the bolded. Remember the whole goal this year is to deflect, change the subject, and pretty much talk about anything other than the record of the previous 4 years. If it requires slandering entire groups and religions based on the actions of the fringe then so be it.

It's like a whole new level of crazy.

 

[OutHouse]

Maybe you haven't been on the BYU campus lately,

when was the last time you were at the BYU campus?


its pathetic you post some stupid ass crap from a hack comedian and post it as fact.