- Aug 21, 2006
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This was written by myself and a friend after a night out. Ideally we would use this in addition to Ladder Theory as we found the male side of ladder theory to be somewhat flawed. Either way its an interesting read. Comments/Critiques are welcome.
The FLAT Theory
FLAT Theory is based off the notion that all women can be categorized by four factors of physical attraction. They are: Face, Legs, Ass, Tits. From these four factors a maximum score of 50 can be attained by a woman depending on the male and his own personal rating structure. Each man will have his own important qualities, for instance some men will rate the ass higher than the legs or the face higher than the tits. An example of FLAT Theory maximum is 10-20-10-10 or 15-5-15-15. The male then rates the female in question out of the categories giving a score relative to their own personal maximum for the category. The reason for this is to allow for individual preferences in body features. The total score can be used as just a flat rating system or be used in the mathematical equations below to show the effect of alcohol and desperation on an individual?s rating acceptance. Most men will have an average cut off of around 35 (lower for generally more desperate men, higher for more picky). This says that if the girl scores lower than a 35 on a male?s FLAT rating they will not be considered as a possible mate.
Situation: Kevin, Adam, and Bobby meet Amanda. Kevin rates Amanda according to his criteria as a 37, Bobby on the other hand only rates her at a 27, and Adam rates her on at a 29. Therefore only Kevin should consider Amanda acceptable as a partner.
Mathematical Analysis of Drinking and Desperation on the FLAT Theory.
As we are all surely aware though drinking and desperation become huge factors that skew the scale. However with these simple equations you can find: how many drinks it would take you to find the person acceptable, while controling for desperation, calculate a regret factor (how much you will regret it afterwards), as well as a regret factor maximum (if the regret factor is over this it is no longer mathematically acceptable to screw said girl). These equations however only really apply for women who would not rank above the initial cut off while sober.
Equation One: Drunk Curve (Effect of Alcohol on FLAT System)
Variables: Bodyweight, Number of Drinks Consumed
Equation: (200/Bodyweight) * Number of Drinks Consumed = Points added on to Sober FLAT System Rating
Reasoning: Bodyweight is the easiest way to control for how much alcohol an individual can hold before reaching certain stages of inebriation. Obviously there will be some variance for tolerance levels but largely bodyweight is the clearest indicator.
Equation Two: Desperation Curve (Effect of Time Since Last Sex on FLAT System)
Variables: Score of Last Girl, Months Since Last Sex
Equation: (ln(Months Since Last Sex) * (50/Score of Last Girl)) = Points added on to Sober FLAT System Rating
Reasoning: The more time that passes in between sexual encounters the more desperate the man becomes but this grows before evening off; also the attractiveness of the previous partner will become a factor as it determines expectations the man has for sex.
Equation Three: Regret Factor (Percentage of How Much you will Regret The Decision)
Variables: Drunk Curve
Equation: Drunk Curve * 10 = Percentage Regret
Reasoning: We believe that at the level of inebriation (for a 200lbs male) of 10 or greater (or 100% regret factor) is sufficiently high enough that the male will regret any sexual encounter assuming he is even capable of performing.
Equation Four: Regret Maximum (Maximum Level of Regret Based on Individual Situation)
Variables: ((Desperate Curve * 1.5) / 5) * 100 = Maximum Acceptable Level of Regret.
Reasoning: There needs to be a certain expectable level of regret based on your desperation. This in combination of the calculated Regret Factor, it can be determined whether or not its acceptable to sleep with the woman.
Examples of FLAT Theory and Alcohol Variance in Effect
In our initial example both Bobby and Adam rated Amanda as unacceptable thus we can plug their numbers into the Alcohol/Desperation Effect Equations. We will assume 4 Drinks and 8 Drinks for each man and show its subsequent effect on their ratings.
Adam (Computer Nerd)
Bodyweight: 150lbs
Months w/o Sex: 8 months
Score of Last Girl: 35
4 Drinks:
Drunk Curve: 1.33... * 4 = 5.33?
Desperate Curve: 2.08 * 1.43 = 2.974
Regret Factor: 5.33 * 10 = 53.3%
Regret Maximum: 4.461 / 5 = 89%
New Flat Curve Rating: 29 + 5.33 + 2.974 = 37.304 or 37 Rounded
Result: It is OK to sleep with Amanda
8 Drinks:
Drunk Curve: 1.33? * 8 = 10.64
Desperate Curve: 2.974
Regret Factor: 100%
Regret Maximum: 89%
New Flat Curve Rating: 10.64 + 2.974 + 29 = 42.614 or 43 Rounded
Result: It is NOT ok to sleep with Amanda.
Bobby (Football Player)
Bodyweight: 250lbs
Months w/o Sex: 3 months
Score of Last Girl: 40
4 Drinks:
Drunk Curve: .8 * 4 = 3.2
Desperate Curve: 1.09 * 1.25 = 1.3625
Regret Factor: 3.2* 10 = 32%
Regret Maximum: 2.04375 / 5 = .40875 or 41%
New Flat Curve Rating: 27 + 3.2 + 1.3625 = 31.5625 or 32 Rounded
Result: It is NOT ok to sleep with Amanda (she does not meet the base FLAT Theory cut off)
8 Drinks:
Drunk Curve: .8 * 8 = 6.4
Desperate Factor: 1.3625
Regret Factor: 6.4 * 10 = 64%
Regret Maximum: 41%
New Flat Curve Rating: 27 + 6.4 + 1.3625 = 34.7625 or 35 Rounded
Result: It is NOT ok to sleep with Amanda.
Analysis: The only initial problem one may find is that it was ok for Adam to sleep with Amanda at four drinks and not at eight. The reason for this is that as you drink more you become less capable of making educated decisions and thus are more likely to regret any decision you make while at that level of inebriation.
Conclusion: In order to sleep with said individual she must rank above the cut off with the new curved rating as well as have a regret factor below that of the maximum acceptable level.
Possible Datable FLAT Theory
While we designed FLAT Theory to explain only party and physical encounters we believe it can be adapted to include dating factors as well. For such equations we propose a 65pt scale for physical attraction and 35pt scale for personality, the categories of which are to be determined later. To find the new 65pt physical rating simply take the sober score multiply by 65 and then divide by 50.
(Score * 65) / 50 = New score for possible Datable FLAT Theory
Example: 40 * 65 = 2600 / 50 = 52pts
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