Favorite smartass remark

[kranky]

If brains were gasoline, yours couldn't power an ant's go-cart around the inside of a Cheerio.

 

[datalink7]

If you'd take your head out of your ass maybe you wouldn't talk so much sh!t.

 

[Toastedlightly]

Thats what she said!

 

[MisterJackson]

Originally posted by: Tom
smooth move, fireproof.

It's smooth move exlax......dumba$$

My favorite is:


"Did I stutter?"

In response to someone saying "What?".

 

[txxxx]

"Suck my dick" , Ron Jeremy.

 

[y2kc]

"sucks to be you"

love giving it, hate getting it.

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: sleepmachine
yeah, well, you're ugly.

and your mother dresses you funny

 

[Schadenfreude]

Roommate: "Y'know, no one likes a smartass"
Me: "No one likes a dumbass either, dumbass"

 

[Zanix]

Your Mom! Ha!

 

[NuclearNed]

The jerk store called. They're all out of you.

 

[shilala]

Does "fvck you" ring a bell, Ding Dong?

 

[ThePresence]

Originally posted by: earthman
I know you are, but what am I?

WINNAR! :thumbsup:

 

[new2AMD]

Originally posted by: NuclearNed
The jerk store called. They're all out of you.

George

 

[vood0g]

breaking up with a lazy/cross-eyed girl:

"this relationship is not working out, we just don't see eye to eye"

 

[jagec]

Originally posted by: Jehovah
Roommate: "Y'know, no one likes a smartass"
Me: "No one likes a dumbass either, dumbass"

nice.

 

[edro]

 

[squeeg22]

In response to being called an a$$h0le by someone:

"Yeah, but if it wasn't for us you buttfvckers would have nothing to do!"

 

[MisterJackson]

Originally posted by: squeeg22
In response to being called an a$$h0le by someone:

"Yeah, but if it wasn't for us you buttfvckers would have nothing to do!"

Wrong, it goes like this:

"If it weren't for us a$$holes you sh1theads wouldn't be around"

Get it right.

 

[Bumrush99]

Haha, that was so funny I forgot to laugh.

 

[Bumrush99]

How about "Yo momma so fat her belt size is the equator"

 

[Weeeman]

Originally posted by: Tom
smooth move, fireproof.

WRONG

Smooth move, ex-lax.

 

[Tom]

Originally posted by: MisterJackson

Originally posted by: Tom
smooth move, fireproof.

It's smooth move exlax......dumba$$

My favorite is:


"Did I stutter?"

In response to someone saying "What?".

he he, exlax doesn't rhyme, doofus !

smooth move , fireproof !!


( maybe y'all are too young to remember the commercial this came from, and then was adopted by smart ass kids like me !)

 

[Glitchny]

"Good story, tell it again"
Often used after a lame or pointless story has been told (usually for the third time)

 

[SuRgEoN]

I have 2:

1) If I wanted any lip from you I'd scrape it off my dick

2) If I wanted to hear a monkey talk; I'd spank mine.

 

[Quixfire]

The father of a 3 year old son is at his wits end with him because the kid is just bouncing off the walls with energy and won't settle down.

Dad: "What is wrong with you today?" :|

Son, with hands on his hips: "I've must have had too much sugar!"

Dad: Starts laughing so hard he has to sit down.