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Favorite Simpsons Quote(s)??

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"My eyes! The goggles do nothing!"

I use that one all the time in CS when I get killed while blind from a flash bang.
 


<< ohhhh, 20 dollars, but I wanted a peanut....... >>



to finishs this quote-
Homers brain- But $20 can buy many peanuts
Homer- Explain how!
Homers Brain- Money can be exchanged for goods and services
Homer-Woohoo!

just one i saw the other day

TV- Are you on your third beer of the day?
Homer- Does Whiskey count as beer?


after crashing his car, talking to the insurance man
man- "ok one last thing, you said you were coming from Moe's what type of establishment is that?"
Homers Brain- "Dont tell him its a bar, dont tell him its a bar"
Homer- "Its a pornography shop, I was buying Pornography"
Homers Brain- "good one, i would never have thought of that!"
 
Homer: Trying is the first step towards failure

Homer to his brain: Shut up Brain, or I'll stub you with a Q-Tip.
 


<< "I'm a maniac... maniac, that's for surrrrrrrrre!"
- Groundskeeper Willy.

(you have to have seen the episode to know what i'm talking about.) >>




ROFLMAO....out of all the songs the simpsons have sung, willie's rendition is by far the most hilarious 😀
 
HOMER: "Come on marge, you know i can't even say the word 'tit' without giggling like a school girl... teehee hee, tee hee hee, tee hee hee heee..."

---

HOMER: "Welcome to the internet, my friend. How can I help you?"

COMIC BOOK GUY: "I'm interested in upgrading by 28.8 kilobaud internet connection to a 1.5 megabit fiber optic T1 line. Will you be able to provide an IP router that is compatible with my token ring ethernet LAN configuration?"

....silence.....

HOMER: "Can I have some money now?"

---

"Oooo.... Duff man..."
 
One of the more amusing ones...

Skinner : "Quick, Nibbles! Chew through my ball sack!" 🙂

From one of the newer episodes.

silver
 
"i'm not a praying man, but if you're really out there... save me superman!" -homer

"it taste like burning" -ralph
"look, i'm learnding!" -ralph
"me fail english? that's unpossible!" - ralph
 
flanders; I think we hit something.
homer; i hope it was flanders.. .. .. ah im just kidding, you're allllright


or something likke that
 
WORST EPISODE EVER!

stupid horiscope...after the pick in the head...stupid bloripope... (or something like that.>..)
 
Burns: ... Homer Simpson.
Smithers: Homer Simson? He's one of your boobs from sector semen, I mean sector 7-G sir!

Lisa and the woman who created Malibu Stacy:
Lisa: so they kicked you out of the company because you didn't agree with their views?
Woman: Yes. Well... that and I was funneling profits for personal gain.

Lisa: Dad, I wouldn't sell Stampy (the elephant) to that man. I think he's an ivory dealer. His boots are ivory, his hat is ivory, and I'm pretty sure that cheque is ivory (flicks the cheque and it makes a hollow sound).
Homer: Lisa, an ivory dealer is less likely to kill Stampy than someone whose ivory supplies are low!

Millhouse showing Bart his new game Bonestorm II (or Bloodstorm II, whatever the name may be).
Millhouse: "This game is amazing, and all I've done is enter my name - Thrillhouse!" Written on the tv-screen in all capital letters, shortened to 8 characters: "THRILLHO"

Bart: Homer, your half-assed underparenting was a lot better than your half-assed overparenting.
Homer: But I was using my whole ass!

Homer and Marge are up on the makeout hill by the big Springfiled Sign as teenagers.
Homer (excited): Oh look marge, a new weather station. I'll bash it good!
-bashes the radio transmitter with a metal object
Homer (completely changes tone, drops the metal object then approaches Marge): You got real pretty hair.

Apu: These hot dogs are only for show, they're over 3 years old. Well, there's one bozo who comes here and ...
Homer (muffled): Hm, but I buy those (trails off)

Doctor Nick goes to hospital door and opens it slightly. A flood of reporters are seen, one voice rises above the rest: "Doctor Nick, where did you hide the bodies?"
Doctor Nick: "It's such a lovely day, I think I'll go out the window" (jumps out the window).

Doctor Nick: Well if it isn't my old friend Mr. McGregg. With a leg for an arm and and arm for a leg. (you have to see it to know what I'm talking about).

Ralph: It tastes like... burning! (posted earlier - it's a good one!)

Homer (looking at his house as it's in flames and the fire jumps over to Flanders' house): Look at that, Flanders is the most religious person I know and god didn't save his house.
-A holy cloud appears and puts out the flames.

Lisa falls into the "water" which is probably beer at Duff gardens while being accompanied by Aunt Patty.
Man to Aunt Patty after she falls into the "water" at Duff Gardens: "Give her these (hands her pills), and these (more pills), and these (even more pills).
Aunt Patty: "Thank you Doctor"
Man: "Oh I'm not a doctor!"

Kang and Kodos the aliens infest Bob Dole and Bill Clinton's bodies and are seen together.
PR-Guy to Clinton: "Mr Clinton, everyone wants to know why you and your opponent (for the upcoming election) are constantly holding hands.
Clinton (totally Kang the alien's voice): "We're simply exchanging long protein strands. If you can think of a better way, then I'd like to hear it!"



Basically anything Ralph says.





and so many others!
 
Whoops forgot my all time favourites:

The episode where homer gets the helper monkey Mojo and he gets very fat and sits on his a$$ on the couch just like homer.

Mojo on couch watching tv, gut showing, same position as Homer.
Marge: "Homer, you got that monkey to help around the house. Now all he does is sit there, struggling to breathe" (you hear loud panting from the monkey)
Homer: "What do you expect Marge, his cholesterol is through the roof!"

Homer: "Come on Mojo, do your happy dance." The fat monkey proceeds to do a hilariously pathetic dance while looking drunk all the while.

And the #1 favourite line:

Homer drops off Mojo the obese monkey to the house where they found him, rings the doorbell and runs away.
A man opens the door with a small handheld computer in his hand and gasps:
Man: "Mojo, what have they done to you?"
Mojo types this message which is read by the computer in a monotonus voice: "Pray ... for ... Mojo"
 
more..

HOMER: "mm.... forbidden donut... mm... sacralicious..."

----

"No no, Homer, use an open-faced club sand wedge."

"hm... open-faced club sandwich..."

----

"Heart stopped... ... ... ... ... there it goes."

----

Ralphie: "I bent my wookie."

----

Lady who starts off the snake whacking contest: "Gentlemen, start your whacking!"
 
Kent Brockman: Scientists say they're also less attractive physically, and while we speak in a well-educated manner they tend to use low-brow expressions like "oh yeah?" and "come here a minute!"
Homer: Oh yeah? They think they're better than us, huh? Bart, come here a minute!
Bart: You come here a minute!
Homer: Oh yeah?

=============================

Homer: You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is: never try.

=============================

Kang: It's true! We are aliens! But what are you going to do about it? It's a two party system! You have to vote for one of us!
Man in Crowd: Well, I'm just going to vote for a third party!
Kang: Go ahead! Throw your vote away!! HA HA HA HA!!!

=============================

Bart: Uh uh. You've gotta be 40 inches tall for the adult section.
Ralph: Pleeeeease?
Bart: Okay. But get on your tippy-toes. [Ralph walks in]
Ralph: Everybody's hugging!
 
when all the kids are trapped on the island

Bart-"And we wlil have butler monkeys"
nelson-"How many butler monkeys?"
Bart- "Well one at first, but he will train more"
 
Alright, my contributions to this awesome thread. BTW, I've said these quotes before, but they are worthy of repeat performance.

From the episode where Homer is a food criti (And I agree, prolly one of the best.)

EDITOR: "Homer, is this food review for real?"
HOMER: "Yes, why?"
EDITOR: "Well Homer, in this review, you make numerous death threats to the UN. And at the end, you keep on repeating 'Screw Flanders."

AND

Italian Chef (In Italian Accent): "That Homer, he give my restaurant a bad review. I tell my friend, and my friend put a horses head in Homer's bed. That Homer, he eat the Horse's head, and he give THAT a bad review."


From the episode where Homer is boxing for Moe. They are introducting the celebrity judges. First they introduce Fat Tony. When they introduce Kent Brockman, people start booing, and throwing stuff at him. He then puts his hand up to his ears as if he has a head set on, and says "This just in...Go to Hell."



Also, who remembers the one where Lenny and Karl are talking about the registered mail, and giving each other high fives?
Anyone remember the quotes?




KeyserSoze
 
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