Favorite Bash.org quote?

[neutralizer]

omg found a good one! 😀

<Entomorph> you know what cracks me up.. trojan condoms, hehe.. I mean if you think about it, a trojan horse was really full off all these little men, and it was a trick to get them inside the fortress.. once inside, the horse BUSTS open, and all the little men come flowing out

 

[Zee]

Originally posted by: Xiety

Originally posted by: sparkyclarky

Originally posted by: KLin

Originally posted by: bR
#261931 +(1485)- [X]

Phoenix> Dude, wanna hear a f**ked up story?
Phoenix> So, Im at the usual weekend frat parties and i've been talking to this girl for the majority of the night.
Phoenix> Anyway I ended up going back with her to her dorm. About another 8shots later, we end up fooling around on her bed.
Phoenix> So about 10min's into her giving me head, I had to drop the fattest sh*t in my life.
Phoenix> All my meals were followed by 3tsp of metamucil so I could get lots of fiber in me to combat the carbs a litte. Anyway im holdin my #2 in and finally it goes away. We both end up passing out on her bed, she's butt naked and im in my boxers.
Phoenix> I wake up to piss and I find myself covered in sh*t. It was all over the bed,sheets,etc.... Im freakin out so I did the most horrible thing in the world.
Phoenix> She's sleeping with her back towards me, so I take my boxers off, scoop up some sh*t and gently smear it on the inside of her butt, her lower back, and a little on the back of her hammies.
Phoenix> I get dressed and leave... This poor girl is gonna think she did it. I didnt know what else to do though. I have no clue what im gonna do when I end up running into her.

HAHHAHHAHHA that's funnier than the guy dropping a load in front of his GF

Oh Jesus I can't stop laughing. That's is so horribly funny. I'm literally typing this in convulsions of laughter!!!!

omg that's the funniest thing i heard all day


maaihauhauhauauuahau

mauhauhauaua

HAHAHAHHAHA

 

[phonemonkey]

(Mootar) morons.
(Mootar) these people who live in my apartment complex are connected to my wireless
(Mootar) they must think they're super-cool hackers by breaking into my completely unsecure network
(Mootar) unfortunatly, the connection works both ways
(Mootar) long story short, they now have loads of horse porn on their computer

 

[MAME]

Originally posted by: Lazee

Originally posted by: Xiety

Originally posted by: sparkyclarky

Originally posted by: KLin

Originally posted by: bR
#261931 +(1485)- [X]

Phoenix> Dude, wanna hear a f**ked up story?
Phoenix> So, Im at the usual weekend frat parties and i've been talking to this girl for the majority of the night.
Phoenix> Anyway I ended up going back with her to her dorm. About another 8shots later, we end up fooling around on her bed.
Phoenix> So about 10min's into her giving me head, I had to drop the fattest sh*t in my life.
Phoenix> All my meals were followed by 3tsp of metamucil so I could get lots of fiber in me to combat the carbs a litte. Anyway im holdin my #2 in and finally it goes away. We both end up passing out on her bed, she's butt naked and im in my boxers.
Phoenix> I wake up to piss and I find myself covered in sh*t. It was all over the bed,sheets,etc.... Im freakin out so I did the most horrible thing in the world.
Phoenix> She's sleeping with her back towards me, so I take my boxers off, scoop up some sh*t and gently smear it on the inside of her butt, her lower back, and a little on the back of her hammies.
Phoenix> I get dressed and leave... This poor girl is gonna think she did it. I didnt know what else to do though. I have no clue what im gonna do when I end up running into her.

HAHHAHHAHHA that's funnier than the guy dropping a load in front of his GF

Oh Jesus I can't stop laughing. That's is so horribly funny. I'm literally typing this in convulsions of laughter!!!!

omg that's the funniest thing i heard all day


maaihauhauhauauuahau

mauhauhauaua

HAHAHAHHAHA

holy crap! nice!

 

[brtspears2]

<zhixel> I'd really like to meet a sane woman who doesn't have to
constantly rely on me for emotional support
<far_call> and I'd really like to be able to drive my car to jupiter


[Demon5] ;p
[far_call] what's that symbol supposed to mean? "I have a scar on my cheek and I'm a mouth breather"?

 

[bolomite]

#142934 +(3687)- [X]

docsigma2000: jesus christ man
docsigma2000: my son is sooooooo dead
c8info: Why?
docsigma2000: hes been looking at internet web sites in fscking EUROPE
docsigma2000: HE IS SURFING LONG DISTANCE
docsigma2000: our fscking phone bill is gonna be nuts
c8info: Ooh, this is bad. Surfing long distance adds an extra $69.99 to your bill per hour.
docsigma2000: ...!!!!!! FVCK FVCK FVCK
docsigma2000: is there some plan we can sign up for???
docsigma2000: cuz theres some cool stuff in europe, but i dun wanna pay that much
c8info: Sorry, no. There is no plan. you'll have to live with it.
docsigma2000: o well, i ccan live without europe intenet sites.
docsigma2000: but till i figure out how to block it hes sooooo dead
c8info: By the way, I'm from Europe, your chatting long distance.
** docsigma2000 has quit (Connection reset by peer)


😀


and this one:

#258908 +(2789)- [X]

<Ben174> : If they only realized 90% of the overtime they pay me is only cause i like staying here playing with Kazaa when the bandwidth picks up after hours.
<ChrisLMB> : If any of my employees did that they'd be fired instantly.
<Ben174> : Where u work?
<ChrisLMB> : I'm the CTO at LowerMyBills.com
*** Ben174 (BenWright@TeraPro33-41.LowerMyBills.com) Quit (Leaving)

 

[silverpig]

Originally posted by: MAME

Originally posted by: Lazee

Originally posted by: Xiety

Originally posted by: sparkyclarky

Originally posted by: KLin

Originally posted by: bR
#261931 +(1485)- [X]

Phoenix> Dude, wanna hear a f**ked up story?
Phoenix> So, Im at the usual weekend frat parties and i've been talking to this girl for the majority of the night.
Phoenix> Anyway I ended up going back with her to her dorm. About another 8shots later, we end up fooling around on her bed.
Phoenix> So about 10min's into her giving me head, I had to drop the fattest sh*t in my life.
Phoenix> All my meals were followed by 3tsp of metamucil so I could get lots of fiber in me to combat the carbs a litte. Anyway im holdin my #2 in and finally it goes away. We both end up passing out on her bed, she's butt naked and im in my boxers.
Phoenix> I wake up to piss and I find myself covered in sh*t. It was all over the bed,sheets,etc.... Im freakin out so I did the most horrible thing in the world.
Phoenix> She's sleeping with her back towards me, so I take my boxers off, scoop up some sh*t and gently smear it on the inside of her butt, her lower back, and a little on the back of her hammies.
Phoenix> I get dressed and leave... This poor girl is gonna think she did it. I didnt know what else to do though. I have no clue what im gonna do when I end up running into her.

HAHHAHHAHHA that's funnier than the guy dropping a load in front of his GF

Oh Jesus I can't stop laughing. That's is so horribly funny. I'm literally typing this in convulsions of laughter!!!!

omg that's the funniest thing i heard all day


maaihauhauhauauuahau

mauhauhauaua

HAHAHAHHAHA

holy crap! nice!

This is NOT a real IRC quote though. The thread was linked to from here a few weeks ago. It's from this bodybuilding website. It began with him saying he's been bulking up a lot over the past few months so he's been eating tons of food followed by a teaspoon of fibre. He downed all this stuff before they party and then went...

 

[silverpig]

Originally posted by: bolomite
#142934 +(3687)- [X]

docsigma2000: jesus christ man
docsigma2000: my son is sooooooo dead
c8info: Why?
docsigma2000: hes been looking at internet web sites in fscking EUROPE
docsigma2000: HE IS SURFING LONG DISTANCE
docsigma2000: our fscking phone bill is gonna be nuts
c8info: Ooh, this is bad. Surfing long distance adds an extra $69.99 to your bill per hour.
docsigma2000: ...!!!!!! FVCK FVCK FVCK
docsigma2000: is there some plan we can sign up for???
docsigma2000: cuz theres some cool stuff in europe, but i dun wanna pay that much
c8info: Sorry, no. There is no plan. you'll have to live with it.
docsigma2000: o well, i ccan live without europe intenet sites.
docsigma2000: but till i figure out how to block it hes sooooo dead
c8info: By the way, I'm from Europe, your chatting long distance.
** docsigma2000 has quit (Connection reset by peer)


😀


and this one:

#258908 +(2789)- [X]

<Ben174> : If they only realized 90% of the overtime they pay me is only cause i like staying here playing with Kazaa when the bandwidth picks up after hours.
<ChrisLMB> : If any of my employees did that they'd be fired instantly.
<Ben174> : Where u work?
<ChrisLMB> : I'm the CTO at LowerMyBills.com
*** Ben174 (BenWright@TeraPro33-41.LowerMyBills.com) Quit (Leaving)

Haha, I hadn't seen that last one before. It's great.

I can just see that first guy getting his bill, not getting charged the extra 69.99/hr and then going back on IRC bragging about how he got this great deal from his ISP where they don't charge him for long distance surfing 🙂

 

[Mucho]

<P class=qt>* Bobber lights up the crack pipe and takes a hit
* Bobber passes it to Jesus
* Jesus takes a hit
<Jesus> Argh, my dad is gonna KILL me

 

[Rufio]

ahhahaahahahahaahahahah

 

[MAME]

Originally posted by: silverpig
This is NOT a real IRC quote though. The thread was linked to from here a few weeks ago. It's from this bodybuilding website. It began with him saying he's been bulking up a lot over the past few months so he's been eating tons of food followed by a teaspoon of fibre. He downed all this stuff before they party and then went...

Ah, that sucks...great one nonetheless though!

 

[CaseTragedy]

Originally posted by: jester79

(Mootar) morons.
(Mootar) these people who live in my apartment complex are connected to my wireless
(Mootar) they must think they're super-cool hackers by breaking into my completely unsecure network
(Mootar) unfortunatly, the connection works both ways
(Mootar) long story short, they now have loads of horse porn on their computer

One has to wonder why he even had so much horse porn...


-Case

 

[MithShrike]

This is too great.

 

[MAME]

Originally posted by: CaseTragedy

Originally posted by: jester79

(Mootar) morons.
(Mootar) these people who live in my apartment complex are connected to my wireless
(Mootar) they must think they're super-cool hackers by breaking into my completely unsecure network
(Mootar) unfortunatly, the connection works both ways
(Mootar) long story short, they now have loads of horse porn on their computer

One has to wonder why he even had so much horse porn...


-Case

lol, owned

 

[geno]

Originally posted by: kuk
<Geno> Dude...
<Geno> I was wearing my All Your Base shirt...and someone pointed out the craziest thing
<Geno> "Somebody Set Up Us the Bomb", when read Backwards, is "Bomb the US (united states) Up Set (upset) Somebody"


Wow ... never thought about that one.

haha, my quote made in on there? Wow, never knew about that one 😀

 

[MAME]

Originally posted by: geno

Originally posted by: kuk
<Geno> Dude...
<Geno> I was wearing my All Your Base shirt...and someone pointed out the craziest thing
<Geno> "Somebody Set Up Us the Bomb", when read Backwards, is "Bomb the US (united states) Up Set (upset) Somebody"


Wow ... never thought about that one.

haha, my quote made in on there? Wow, never knew about that one 😀

wow, is that really you?

 

[AreaCode707]

<Donut[AFK]> HEY EURAKARTE
<Donut[AFK]> INSULT
<Eurakarte> RETORT
<Donut[AFK]> COUNTER-RETORT
<Eurakarte> QUESTIONING OF SEXUAL PREFERENCE
<Donut[AFK]> SUGGESTION TO SHUT THE F*CK UP
<Eurakarte> NOTATION THAT YOU CREATE A VACUUM
<Donut[AFK]> RIPOSTE
<Donut[AFK]> ADDON RIPOSTE
<Eurakarte> COUNTER-RIPOSTE
<Donut[AFK]> COUNTER-COUNTER RIPOSTE
<Eurakarte> NONSENSICAL STATEMENT INVOLVING PLANKTON
<Miles_Prower> RESPONSE TO RANDOM STATEMENT AND THREAT TO BAN OPPOSING SIDES
<Eurakarte> WORDS OF PRAISE FOR FISHFOOD
<Miles_Prower> ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AND ACCEPTENCE OF TERMS


ROFLOL! That sounds like some of my friends.

 

[MAME]

Originally posted by: HotChic
<Donut[AFK]> HEY EURAKARTE
<Donut[AFK]> INSULT
<Eurakarte> RETORT
<Donut[AFK]> COUNTER-RETORT
<Eurakarte> QUESTIONING OF SEXUAL PREFERENCE
<Donut[AFK]> SUGGESTION TO SHUT THE F*CK UP
<Eurakarte> NOTATION THAT YOU CREATE A VACUUM
<Donut[AFK]> RIPOSTE
<Donut[AFK]> ADDON RIPOSTE
<Eurakarte> COUNTER-RIPOSTE
<Donut[AFK]> COUNTER-COUNTER RIPOSTE
<Eurakarte> NONSENSICAL STATEMENT INVOLVING PLANKTON
<Miles_Prower> RESPONSE TO RANDOM STATEMENT AND THREAT TO BAN OPPOSING SIDES
<Eurakarte> WORDS OF PRAISE FOR FISHFOOD
<Miles_Prower> ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AND ACCEPTENCE OF TERMS


ROFLOL! That sounds like some of my friends.

they talk like that?!

 

[Mookow]

My new favorite quote ever is there, just because it is entirely frigging random.

If you want to read it, go to bash.org and search for "roses blue rake". It is the only result.

 

[MAME]

FOR THE LAZY

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll fvck you with a rake

 

[yllus]

<jeebus> the "bishop" came to our church today
<jeebus> he was a f*cken impostor
<jeebus> never once moved diagonally

And starring yours truly...

<briansex> i am sliding my hand up your leg what do u do?
<sully> I tell you I'm a guy?

<mrs> ontariom the phone is for you
<sully> OntarioM is ~Ontario@CPE************.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com * Toronto Man
<sully> OntarioM on #toronto #phonesex #masturbation
<sully> Coincidence?

 

[RedPickle]

LOL!!!

 

[Turkish]

<@AntiHeiss> friend of mine went to jail last night
<@AntiHeiss> he probably isn't getting out for a while
<%The_Coolest> y?
<+Enyo> why?
<%The_Coolest> 😱
<@AntiHeiss> it was a girl cop, she was pretty cute too
<@AntiHeiss> she said anything you say can and will be held against you....he sat there for a while and said 'tits'

😀

 

[ATLien247]

There are too many quotes that I like to choose a favorite...

One that sticks out in my mind though is this one.

Wierd thing is that this was not the original version. The original was much more dramatic, it had that self-confessed "owned" theme, and the author was not so, shall we say, "indifferent".

 

[Allio]

Originally posted by: yllus
<briansex> i am sliding my hand up your leg what do u do?
<sully> I tell you I'm a guy?

Haha, that was you? I remember laughing at that one yeeears ago 😉