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Fart Bars

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Wow! Powerful product. Eat one and clear the room, eat two and clear out the worship service. Sorry, Padre!

These are easily the best tasting bars of this type I ever consumed but things announce their presence for hours after you eat them. My dear, sweet wife ?tweets? all night, in the bed. We have had to give up snuggling until it works its way out of her system. I ate two and my kids were complaining, the dog whined and left the room and the wallpaper started falling off in sheets.
The most amazing thing to me is how little fiber can create so much gas! Not to be indelicate, but when I ?go? what comes out is only about the same size as the bar that went in. How does something something 1.04 ounces create 90 lbs of carbon contamination? These things defy science. As they burn they actually leave more residue behind than they consumed.

I walked into my bedroom after work yesterday and could smell the fart I left at 7 am. Talk about your lethal weapon?
Reverie
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The other night my roommate and I were extremely hungry. As we search our empty cabinets we came across the devil in disguise, Fiber One Chocolate Chip Bars. We are not sure how they got there but we went in for the kill. To our surprise it was some of the most tastiest snacks to hit our lips. After we devoured our first bar we quickly moved on to our second. Before the night was over I had sucked down 3 while my roommate hit up 5.

The next morning our assholes were blowing more gas than Mobil. It was AMAZING!!!! Never before did I think human can fart as much as I did. I?m a teacher and literally had to run out into to the hall, fart real quick and go back in and finish the lesson. Along with that I was crop dusting the shit out of my students, and making them take the blame for the stink. My roommate experienced similar issues. He works in close quarters to other co-workers and unfortunately they experienced the wrath of Fiber One as well. He tried to hold it in as best as possible, but it?s like trying to plug an erupting volcano. We couldn?t believe it!!!! By the end of the day, we estimated that we farted over 500 times combined. No joke whatsoever - I have absolutely no reason to lie about such an embarrassing day in my life.

If you don?t believe me, then put yourself to the test. I personally dare you to try having 3 of these bad boys, or better yet shoot for 6. This is no fucking joke, I seriously thought I had to go to the emergency room.
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😀
 
My son stuck some of them in his pocket before school (he was a freshman.) Ate one on the bus. Ate another during first period. Ate a third during second period. Cried the rest of the day. He thought he was dying. :awe:
 
I was at the Kroger supermarket earlier today. Couldn't find them, but I found the Kelloggs equivalent:

fiber_fart_bars.jpg


NEW USERS: Increase your fiber intake gradually. Gastrointestinal discomfort may occur until your body adjusts.
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...an interesting, warning. Not specific enough.
 
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