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Fark! Friend is super pissed at me over money.

H

hevnsnt

Lifer
Well don't know what I should do/think about this situation...

A good buddy of mine is retarded with finances, he bought a car decided he couldnt afford it, sold it and got in on one of those 0% down 0 for 1 year deals, then when his payments came around he sold it (super upside down at this point) and bought an old jeep. He had to borrow money from his parents to buy the jeep, and they didnt want to do it but he needed a car. So then 2 months later he lost his rear-main seal and needs $500 to fix it. Well I had exactly $500 in my play money account and I told him that he could borrow it, I didnt tell him but I was saving up for a laptop. Well wouldnt you know it that $500 laptop deal came around and I bought it.. Now I don't have the $500 to give him and I just told him.. He is super pissed.

On one note I told him that he could borrow it, on another I didnt think about it before I told him, and on another he got himself into this mess, it should not be my job to bail him out, I mean we are in our mid 20's..

Loaning money to a friend (or not in my case) sucks.

Am I in the wrong?
 
Well, you did go back on your word.... But that was probably very smart of you. It sounds like you probably would've never seen that $500 again.

Just apologize to him and tell him the truth about what you were saving for and that you weren't convinced that you'd ever get repaid. If he's a friend, he'll get over it, and maybe even learn that he needs to be more responsible.
 
A rear main seal costs about $20. Tell him that if he's broke, he should do it himself, hell, you'll even lend him the $20.
 
Tell him to suck it up... it's your money....

Don't ever loan money to friends... it is just a bad situitation...
 
my thoughts...

you should not have offered in the first place
you should not have spent the money after you had offered, however
but what are you going to do? what's done is done.
 
Originally posted by: Wingznut
Well, you did go back on your word.... But that was probably very smart of you. It sounds like you probably would've never seen that $500 again.
Click to expand...


Exactly, friends and family are the worst to loan money too, rent too, etc. You won't mind, cause your friend/family...
 
Originally posted by: gopunk
my thoughts...

you should not have offered in the first place
you should not have spent the money after you had offered, however
but what are you going to do? what's done is done.
Click to expand...

i agree. money and friends is a bad bad mix. if you want to smooth things over, I would go to him and apologize, and work with him to figure something out (preferably not with your money)
 
Originally posted by: Shelly21
Tell him to suck it up... it's your money....

Don't ever loan money to friends... it is just a bad situitation...
Click to expand...

I agree. As you get older you realize that talking about your personal finances w/friends is a bad idea.

I.E. if you asked me to come hang out with you, instead of telling you "Dude, I'm so broke, I can't pay the rent and the phone is about to get cut off" I'd jsut say "sorry, I can't go, but thanks for asking."

This way my privacy is protected, I treated you politely and everyone's business stays their own.

Friends + business do not mix. Evar.
 
tell him to get a job and save his own money, or to go ask mommy and daddy for it.
why should he be pissed that you saved for something that you needed and
he doesn't save his money for what he needs? you never would have seen your money again....
 
just a crappy situation all the way around..

And a rear main seal may not cost much, but I seriously doubt any shop is going to take $20 to replace it on a 4x4 and 12hrs of work.
 
Tell him to stop whining and take care of business. You offered the money, a deal on the laptop came up and you reconsidered your position. End of story....

Between a few of my friends, I am out about 2k$.. for about 6 months.. It's my fault for trusting them, and their fault for not following through with their end of bargains. Don't go down that path... And if he gives you any crap, you aren't his friend, your wallet is his friend...
 
As the others have already stated, loaning money to friends can be a major problem. Money is one of those discriminating factors which can make or break a relationship, and it's not even about the money per se, it's usually, from what I have seen, about a respect and consideration factor. If you strap yourself to bail out a friend, then they go buy some new DVD player and tell you they don't have money to pay you back... Its doesn't show alot of consideration to you does it?

Regarding your situation, I think you see it pretty clearly. You should not have promised money you weren't ready to lend without exception. It should have been stipulated that there may be reasons for you not to lend that money. When I lend money I lend it without any expectations of repayment. It just makes life much less complicated. I also try not to promise anything so others don't have expeectations. I word my statements like "I may be able to lend you that, I will have to check." The friends I lend my money to though are never a problem. Even if they are late in paying me back, they make every effort to keep me informed and pay what they can out of consideration. thats what real friends do

as for your friend, he really has no right to be "very angry" at you for not lending him the money. The only exception to this would be if you absolutely promised this money and he built plans on it. It all depends on the circumstances but it doesn't sound like you said "I swear on my mother" or something to that extent. Even so, your friend needs to learn some finacial responsibility. To be in your mid 20's and still passing your irresponsible financial burdens on your parents and friends shows that this person needs to grow the hell up.

If he wants to be mad then let him. It is a selfish and arrogant individual who gets mad over not recieving charity. The world does not owe him any undeserved favors and neither do you.
 
lol.. It just sucks because both my wife and I work and make out moneywise pretty good.. I am not saying that I have money to throw around, but you know what I mean.. I guess you are all right, if he is truely a friend it will work out.

But I have already named my laptop, **guilty**
 
Originally posted by: Shelly21
Tell him to suck it up... it's your money....

Don't ever loan money to friends... it is just a bad situitation...
Click to expand...

Agreed. Only thing worse dealing with money is gambling with friends.
 
I know he doesnt sound like a real friend here, but this is a txt chat.. he is a good friend, but now he has to explore other options to get his car fixed.. I can understand why he is pissed, but I would hope that he would understand my circumstance as well.

oh well, to be seen I guess
 
Originally posted by: danzig
He was wrong to get ticked off about the money . He doesn't sound like a real friend to me.
Click to expand...

maybe he's just temporarily disapointed......i would be, if i were counting on something and all of a sudden it's gone......but i'd get over it.....
 
Originally posted by: chizow(-wearing his elvish cloak +5)
Originally posted by: Shelly21
Tell him to suck it up... it's your money....

Don't ever loan money to friends... it is just a bad situitation...
Click to expand...

Agreed. Only thing worse dealing with money is gambling with friends.
Click to expand...
especially if you are dealing with me. The last bet I lost to a friend was for $50 and I lost on a technicality. I paid him $50 ALL IN PENNIES. 😉

 
Yeah, loaning money to a friend is never a good situation. I have been on both ends of it and the friendship NEVER seems to be the same after.

That being said, you did tell him that you were going to lend him the money and he was probably relying on you to lend it to him (since you said you would). He doesn't know what is going on in your head.
 
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